Starting over
by Huds2n
Summary: How Janet and Eddie moved on with their lives following the finale to season 2.
1. Chapter 1

(Just thought of this new approach and thought I would see where it goes…hope you like it…none of the characters are mine just a love of our Jeddie)

Chapter 1:

Janet finally got home from the engagement party and tried to reflect on her day. She didn't think things would go well with Eddie when she told him that she slept with Rooster but she had no idea he would react the way he did. His eyes were so intense and his anger…words she would not soon forget. She always questioned how Eddie really felt about her because he never really talked about that but today there was no mistaking his feelings, he hated her this much she was certain.

She sat there on the couch staring at the ceiling trying to figure out what to do now. She felt as though she had reached a cross road in her life. The chapter that would have held promise with a relationship with Eddie was over. Along with that, she thought, was her future at Sully's. She remembered back to that day when he kissed her for the first time, "this is my bar…this is where I go…you don't like it go work at the Johnson Inn." Yeah, that first encounter with Eddie that day wasn't as positive but it ended amazingly, well minus the twirl part, that was just embarrassing, she thought and chuckled a bit to herself.

As she sat frozen in her thoughts she decided that this was the time to right more than one wrong. She confessed to Eddie what she had done and she knew it was the right thing to do but there was something else that was bothering her and that was her. She knew that her reaction in this situation with Eddie and Rooster was not something she would normally have done so what made her do it this time. She needed to find herself and figure out the parts of her that didn't have that confidence that she always felt she had deep down. She could handle drunk patrons and fights in the bar but for some reason she had a hard time with her relationship with Eddie. Sometimes she could confront him about things she was unhappy about, well most of the time but why couldn't she just have stopped right then and there and confronted Eddie and Rory…what made her drive past thinking the worst and of all people turn to the one person that she knew would not be supportive of her relationship with Eddie. The one person she knew had feelings for her but the one person she really didn't want to be with…so why? As Janet just there thinking of what had happened over the course of the last few days she decided that she needed a change. She needed to come to terms with her decisions and try to take this time to finally make something right that she wronged a long time ago and that was herself.

She always said she would go on to college from high school when she got the money. She knew she would need to take at least a year off but after a while she got comfortable at Sully's and 'found her place' she thought. She had saved up plenty of money to go to school but for some reason she put that goal on the farthest back burner she had. Years passed and somehow that goal just seemed to fade. It was as if she came to terms with working at the bar as her career and then she entered into this relationship with Eddie and school was the farthest thing from her mind. Maybe now is a good time to look at going to school finally. She thought, "I don't think I can continue to work at Sully's especially after Eddie is healed and starts going back there…to see him picking up girls and then looking at me with those hate filled eyes - no that is not something I can deal with everyday. I created this mess and now I need to do something about it."

Days passed and Janet began to do some research on line about applying for the Duf. It seemed to be the reasonable choice since it was so convenient. She filled out the on line application and got information on the admittance tests that she would need to complete since she was certain all the tests she took in high school so long ago wouldn't hold up any longer. Now, she thought, I need to find a different job in the mean time…something that is not in the Ridge…a little distance may be a good thing right now. So she started looking at the on line ads for the two towns surrounding the Ridge. They weren't too far away to drive but far enough, she thought, to get away from all her mistakes. She found two possibilities so she called each place and actually got an interview for the one set up for later that week. She looked at her watch and realized that she needed to get a move on as her shift started at Sully's in 15 minutes.

Janet was behind the bar when Hannah walked in. Hannah took a seat by the bar and looked at Janet as if she wanted to say something but didn't know where to start. Janet looked at Hannah and said, "What goes on, you look like your on a mission."

Hannah looked at Janet trying to figure out how to start, "Yeah, I kind of am…why did you lie to me Janet?" Well that wasn't what Janet expected her to say, "Lie? About what?" Janet had no clue what she was talking about.

Hannah, "Really Janet, about what…oh I don't know perhaps your trip to the hospital and that it didn't go quite as well as you told me it did."

Janet was shocked. How would she know that? She stared at Hannah as if frozen and not having a clue of what to say next.

Hannah said, "Why didn't you just tell me the truth, Janet? You pretended that everything was fine that day and it wasn't…you needed me and you didn't say a word and haven't since then, why?"

Janet looked down, she had every intention of eventually talking to Hannah about what really happened but she didn't want to ruin her day and in the days that followed she was more focused on what she was going to do with herself.

"I'm sorry Hannah, I just didn't want to ruin your engagement party and I have been trying to figure out what to do ever since." Janet said.

"What do you mean 'figure out what to do'?"

"I am thinking about finally going back to school…you know that was always my plan but I think I have been ignoring my future and maybe this is a good time to refocus…I also have a job interview in Grand springs." Janet said hesitantly wondering what Hannah would think of that.

"Grand Springs…why would you have an interview for a job there?" Hannah was concerned

"Because I can't stay working here Hannah, this is Eddie's bar and when he gets better he is going to start coming back here I can't deal with the hatred he has for me every time I'm at work, this would just be better especially if I am in school this job isn't going to work with my school schedule…really working until 3 am and then getting up to go to class…I'm not that young anymore." Janet said kind of chuckling

"Well I understand the school aspect of it and I am really happy that you are finally getting to that goal because I know deep down you have always wanted to go but I don't think Eddie hates you, what exactly happened that day that makes you think that he hates you." Hannah said.

"Basically he said that I should go find some place to rot and that the captain of the football team is rejecting me and then screamed repeatedly get out! That is what makes me think that and the look in his eyes Hannah, I'll never forget those eyes…they were filled with hatred and anger…and really who could blame him I did sleep with Rooster while he was apparently getting himself worked over…I hate me for what I did so I can't blame him for feeling the same way." Janet said sadly.

"Janet, what you did was wrong I understand but it was a mistake…everyone makes mistakes and Eddie was with Rory kissing her and blowing you off all day before getting 'worked over' so please don't make him the victim here…at least where your relationship is concerned. He made just as many mistakes as you that day and although I understand he has a right to be angry I can't believe that he would hate you for what you did, especially after some of the things he has done in the past." Hannah said suddenly looking like she was recalling a memory.

"What are talking about Hannah? Eddie has never cheated on his girlfriends well the few that he has had. What things would he have done in the past that would even come close to this?" Janet now intently staring at Hannah.

"There is something that you should know Janet, after Nick left for Europe and I got those flowers for my birthday I knew he wasn't coming back. I got really upset and got really drunk. I ran into Eddie and the long and the short of it is we had sex…it wasn't good or long but technically I was still Nick's girlfriend. So, when I say that he has made some mistakes I would say sleeping with your best friend's girlfriend probably ranks pretty high in that category." Hannah said hoping Janet wouldn't be too upset.

Janet looked at Hannah feeling like a bomb just went off in her head, "why didn't you ever tell me about that? Oh My God, is Sam Eddie's son?" Janet looked like she was going to be sick.

"No, Janet Sam is Nick's son, I took a paternity test shortly after Sam was born…I had Nick's hair brush still at my house and used that…I just didn't know where Nick was to tell him and after a while it was easier letting everyone believe it was Gavin's…he was willing to go along with it and so was I until Nick came back and well you know the rest. The point is the reason why I was confident that if you told him the truth he would forgive you was because of that. None of us are perfect Janet, including the famous Eddie." She said putting her hand on Janet's hand on the bar.

"Well I guess it doesn't matter anymore anyway because what is done is done and I have no intention of thinking or hoping that there will be anything between Eddie and I in the future not even friendship because it is over…all of it. In fact, my friendship with Rooster is over too. I can't believe he truly thought that I wanted to be with him when I was crying my eyes out over Eddie, drunker than I can ever remember and longing to hear EDDIE tell me that he cared about me or loved me or something, unfortunately those words came from Rooster and in that moment I guess I needed to be loved…I don't know it doesn't make sense to me either but now Rooster thinks we are a couple…WHAT A MESS!" Janet said throwing her hands in the air and walking off to help a customer.

Janet came back to Hannah a little while later and Hannah said, "You know what Janet your right. This is your opportunity to become anything you want to be and I support you 100%...just don't move away or anything…I couldn't live with out you!" Hannah said smiling

"I am not moving just working a little farther than a walk away…but I will be busy so we will definitely need to be creative with our girl time." Janet said once again having to wait on another customer.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Days later, Janet was sitting in the office of her interview. She hadn't interviewed for anything in a long time so she was nervous but figured well you had to start somewhere. It was a totally different job than working in a bar. It was a job working with the local police being a dispatcher when calls come in. Not necessarily challenging but you needed to have a level head in emergency situations and be able to talk with people until police were able to arrive on the scene and often keep them calm so you can obtain details to help law enforcement with the scene.

After the interview was completed Janet was told that they would contact her when they completed the rest of the interviews. She felt pretty good about the interview. She wasn't sure if she would like the job but it paid pretty good and the schedule would work great with her school schedule and it wasn't a very far distance to drive from the Ridge.

When she arrived home, she checked her messages and she had received two messages, one from the Duf stating that they received her application and giving her information on the testing sites and upcoming dates of the tests she would need to take to be considered for admission in the fall term. She would need to take the earliest one since it was spring time already and it only gave her a few months before the fall semester would start after the testing was complete. The second message was from the person she had just interviewed with offering her the job. She was the best candidate by far with her skills working in a bar and dealing with unreasonable and often times intoxicated people she could keep her composure in extreme situations and be able to assist law enforcement in preparation for any call that comes in. She thought to herself, "well this is the best day ever…I got a new job and I got past the first phase of the application process for school…now I have to quit Sully's and that is not going to be easy." She thought.

Janet went into work that night and immediately sought out Sully. She hated to quit but knew it was the best thing for everyone. Sully however was a different story. He had been so kind to Janet over the years and taken care of her that she hated to leave him and even more hated having to tell him why. She found him in his office and began to tell him what she came to tell him.

"Hey Sul, do you have a minute?"

"Sure Janet whatcha need?" he asked

"I need to let you know that you are one of the best bosses I have ever had but that I am leaving Sully's. I am giving you my notice." Janet said nervously.

Sully just looked at Janet shocked more than anything. "Why sweetie?"

"This is hard for me to say to you but basically Eddie and I broke up about a week or so ago and it was my fault basically. I hurt him and I don't want, I can't stay here and work. I wouldn't be able to deal with him when he comes back here and gets back to "being Eddie" especially when I know that it was my fault that we aren't together any more. This is his bar and I won't take that away from him."

"Janet you can't be serious. Your quitting because your not dating Eddie Latekka anymore…that is not a reason to quit Janet. Don't be ridiculous. If he gives you any problems you come and get me and I'll take care of it. He is a good boy Janet but he isn't perfect." Sully said more quietly.

'why does everyone keep saying that' Janet thought. "It's not just Eddie though, I am going to go back to school. I have applied to the Duf and I got through the first round of the application process so now I need to take some entrance exams and I'll officially be a student in the fall I hope." She said smiling

"That is great Janet but I still don't see what this has to do with you working here or not?" Sully looked confused.

"Sully I can't work until 3 am and go to class I would never be able to concentrate, believe me when I tell you that I don't want to do this but I need to – for me – can you understand that?" she said hopeful he would understand.

"I am just going to miss you Janet. You are the best bartender I got but more than that you are a good person and friend. That is hard to replace but I understand what you are saying. If things don't work out or you want to come back I will do my best to work with your schedule and as far as Eddie goes, I don't know what happened between you too but I wouldn't count him out just yet. I have seen the way he looks at you and I just don't think that you can 'get over that' so easy. That's all I am going to say." Sully said getting up out of his chair and hugging Janet. "Now go get to work I still gotcha for two weeks, right?"

"Right." Janet said laughing a little with just a hint of tears in her eyes.

Eddie was healing at least on the outside. He had been in the hospital for a few weeks now and it was looking like the doctor was getting ready to release him. He had not spoken of Janet or his failed relationship with anyone. Nick knew something happened but he didn't push Eddie on it knowing if Eddie was going to talk about it he would but if he didn't want to he wouldn't say anything anyway.

Eddie replayed that day over and over in his mind. He was so angry when he heard what she had to say. He couldn't believe that she actually slept with Rooster. Even though that is what she said he still had such a hard time believing that one day with Rory would have such a reaction from her. He knew he made mistakes that day but didn't think that one kiss that he stopped immediately warranted Janet's infidelity, especially with Rooster of all people.

On one hand he had to respect the fact that she told him right away and didn't try to hide it or pretend it didn't happen but on the other hand he didn't know if he would ever be able to get past the fact that she did it. She welcomed another man into her body while she was dating him. It was just so much for him to comprehend. He remembered the things he said to Janet that day and it still brought tears to his eyes. It was the cruelest he had ever been to anyone and the things he said he knew would hurt her to her very core, just as he had been hurt to his core. It was on this day that everything went completely wrong that Eddie realized that he was in love with Janet and was never able to tell her because of her confession. But even with her confession it didn't make his feelings for her go away which made the situation that much worse. Now he would never be able to utter the words he nearly had to her. Now he would never know if Janet really was the one for him because now their relationship was lost forever. This much he was certain of.

Nick entered the room and said, "it looks like they are springing ya today."

"Yeah I guess." Is all Eddie said.

"Now that doesn't sound like a happy man…I thought that this place was driving ya crazy?" Nick said somewhat confused.

"It is driving me crazy but that doesn't mean I am going to do cartwheels, still a little sore here.' Eddie said rather grumpily.

"Ok, well then I guess I will just go round up the doctor and get your walking papers." Nick said as he walked out of the room.

"Thanks, Nick" Eddie said quickly. Nick turned around and smiled. He got the feeling that the thanks was for more than just getting him ready to go.

"HEY your home!" Phil yelled as Eddie limped through the door a few hours later.

"Yeah I am so don't be jumping all over the place I am still sore." Eddie said abruptly.

"Oh, Ok." Phil said somewhat dejected. He couldn't understand why Eddie seemed so unhappy to be back home.

Eddie got settled in his room and wanted to just lay down and rest. The move from his hospital room to his bed was a long one. It was the most activity he has had in weeks and it tired him out immensely.

Once Eddie was settled in his bed and resting, Nick came back down stairs and gave Phil a rundown of the medications that Eddie had to take and what the doctor said he needed to do and to avoid.

"Why does Eddie seem so unhappy Nick? Is it the beating?" Phil said concerned.

"I don't think it has much to do with the beating as it does with the breakup." Nick said.

"Breakup? What are you talking about?" Phil said confused now.

"Janet and Eddie broke up the day after the attack. He won't talk about it other than it happened. He has been in this mood ever since. I have no idea what happened between those two but whatever it was it was major." Nick said lifting his eyebrows.

"I can't believe it. I thought those two would make it all the way down the isle. He was so happy when they got together and then after they starting sleeping together I never saw him because he was always with her. I had never seen him this happy even when he was with Rory he wasn't this happy…I just can't imagine what would have caused them to break up…Oh My God, do you think it was Rory?" Phil said suddenly.

"I think she played a part in it but not in the way that Eddie wants to be with her more like her appearance caused something that happened between Eddie and Janet. I don't know Phil, don't expect him to be in a good mood any time soon." With that Nick left.

Eddie laid in his bed and stared at the ceiling. He hadn't slept in this bed for such a long time, it now felt so strange. He loved Janet's bed, mostly because she was in it but there was something about the comfort that he felt being there with her. His room suddenly felt cold and lonely. He missed her and had no idea what it would feel like to see her again. But his anger was still there too so for now he would make sure that he didn't go anywhere he thought she would be especially Sullys.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

The day had finally come, Janet's last day at Sully's. Of course he wasn't going to get it just come and go as Janet wanted it too. So her last shift was an evening one but not until close. He had her working until around 7pm and around 6pm he put this big banner up and got the whole place to cheer on her new adventure…all of which he managed to pull off when she took her last 15 minute break. Lucky for him, she always went out back to get some fresh air and sit and relax a bit. When she walked back in, everyone yelled 'surprise' and the big banner came down from the ceiling. Janet was shocked and just couldn't speak so Hannah decided to say a few words.

"To our most favorite bartender and my best friend we wish you well in your new job and hope that the Duf is smart enough to take you on this fall. I think it is amazing that you are going back to school and following your dreams Janet, I couldn't be more proud of you." Hannah said hugging her friend with a tear running down her cheek.

"Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the words and the party but I am only going to school I am not moving to Alaska…I just get to order someone else around when I come in here." She said laughing pointing at Sully.

Everyone laughed and the jukebox started back up again. People were coming up to Janet and giving her hugs and telling her how much they were going to miss her behind the bar. Some of the younger patrons even came up to her that she didn't know and gave her some tips on the campus at the Duf and what things would be helpful that she wouldn't have figured out on her own. She was feeling pretty proud of herself and things didn't look so bleak any longer. Since her breakup with Eddie she felt as though something were missing each and every day. Her house was lonely and quiet. She couldn't even go in her room after what happened with Rooster so she took everything out of there and decide now was a good time for a new bedroom set. She repainted the room and put up new curtains and after the new dresser and bed was delivered she almost felt as though it was a new start for her not just to rid her memory of that night with Rooster but in some ways to rid her memory of all of it. She had just as many good memories with Eddie in that bed but that seemed to bring her sadness now too so she thought I might as well start fresh with everything and that was where she started. Nothing was going to erase her memory of Eddie because her heart wasn't allowing that in any way regardless of what job she had, whether he got enrolled in classes or not and certainly regardless of the paint color of her room. She just had to find a way to live without him in her life because she had no choice, an aspect her heart just didn't have control over.

The night was fun filled with drinking and laughing with friends after her shift ended and Hannah dropped her off at her house. She wasn't entirely drunk but she had a few and she was looking forward to coming home and relaxing on her couch. She said goodbye to Hannah and gave her a hug for all the support she had given Janet with her "new life." She layed down on the couch and began to think about all the things that she would miss about Sully's and all the things she had to look forward too. Her test date was scheduled and she had a few more weeks before she had to take the test. She thought it was perfect timing because she started her new jobs in a few days and that would give her some time to get adjusted to her drive and new responsibilities. Tomorrow she was headed to see her grandparents for the next few days and tell them about all the news. She knew they would be very happy that she was going back to school but how would they react when they heard about Eddie. She knew that they wanted her to be happy but she was happy with Eddie and how was she going to be able to convince them that this was what was best when she didn't believe that. She wondered what would happen if she ran into Eddie now. She heard he was out of the hospital but nothing more. No one asked her what happened or made a big deal over their apparent break up. She figured Eddie didn't tell anyone anything because even when she saw Eddie's friends at Sully's they didn't give her a hard time or anything. They didn't talk to her much but were polite to her almost like they were respecting his wishes or something. She thought that people would look like she was a slut or something after they found out but either they didn't care or they didn't know and drew their own conclusions to the demise of her relationship with Eddie. She wondered if she would ever see him again or if he would ever talk to her again. Time would tell but time wasn't helping her with her feelings because regardless of what happened that faithful day the one thing she knew for certain was that she was in love with Eddie and there wasn't a single thing she could do about it now.

Janet arrived at her grandparents retirement village around lunch time and they all enjoyed lunch together. Her Grands were always excited to see her. They spent lunch time catching Janet up on all the things that had been happening with them since they had seen her last. Occasionally they would mention Eddie's name but Janet just smiled and listened until it was her turn to talk. She told her Grands that she decided she would go back to school and so she applied and they sent her onto the next phase of the application process which was the entrance exams. She told them that the exam was in two weeks and that she had quit her job at Sully's to have a better schedule for school and found another one being a dispatcher for the local police department in Grand Springs. Janet was pretty sure her Grands didn't hear a single thing after 'I am going back to school'. It was something that they always wanted for Janet and never told her this but were so disappointed when so many years went by and she hadn't gone back but now she is and it was her doing and they couldn't have been happier for her.

"Janet we are just so excited for you. Your grandfather and I are so pleased that you decided to go onto school. We want you to know since you are almost enrolled that there is a special account set up for you to go to school so you just send us the bills and we will take care of tuition." Her Grandma said smiling.

"I can't do that Grandma, I will pay for it." Janet said

"No Janet you won't. We put this money away specifically for your schooling and that is what it will be used for. We worked hard when we were younger so our only grandchild could have the things we didn't and you are not going to talk us out of it now." Edith said firmly

Janet had tears in her eyes never expecting that her Grands had done something like this for her. She got up and hugged both of her Grands so tightly and thanked them both from the bottom of her heart.

Janet was trying to figure out how she was going to pay for everything especially now that she wouldn't be getting the tips that were always so generous from her patrons but now that her Grands were paying the tuition bill she wouldn't have much in the way of expenses except for gas and books which she could totally cover. She had developed quite a savings while working at Sully's because she never had rent to pay as her house was gifted to her when her parents died. She only had to pay the taxes at the end of each year. She wasn't fruggle with her money but very responsible about how she used it. This was such a gift she just was so overwhelmed. With that they enjoyed the rest of the lunch and returned to her Grands area in the retirement home.

Once they got back to their house, they all sat in the living room and that is when the question came out. "You haven't said one word about Eddie, how are things with you two? I suppose he is very excited about you going back to school huh?" Edith said.

"Grandma, Eddie and I broke up a few months ago. I made a really big mistake and we couldn't work it out. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner but it was really hard but it is because of the break up that I decided to go to school. I think there are just some things that I need to work on with myself and I think that maybe I lost a bit of me along the way that I would like to get back." Janet said hoping that her Grands understood and just dropped it.

"Janet" (nope not going to drop it) "we have always wanted you to just be happy. You seemed so happy with Eddie and he with you that I can't imagine there is anything that you two couldn't work out. When was the last time you talked to him? Everyone makes mistakes Janet that doesn't mean you give up and retreat." Edith said hoping that Janet would open up more.

"I am not retreating Grandma I just screwed up. I misunderstood something that Eddie did and I reacted poorly to it. My mistake was and is unforgiveable so I don't blame Eddie for breaking up with me but I think the part I need to work on is why I reacted the way I did in the first place. I need to find myself and my way in this world and I guess I realized through this whole thing is that I was hiding behind that bar and that I am meant to do so much more. Now I am going to find out…something I should have done years ago but I got way to comfortable with the way things were. Maybe someday Eddie and I will talk but right now he wants nothing to do with me and I have to respect that. Besides there is no amount of talking that would fix what I did as much as I wish it would." Janet said sadly

With that Edith hugged her granddaughter and they moved onto the rest of the conversation finally dropping the topic of Eddie Latekka.

It had been months since Eddie was attacked and he was finally moving around enough to return to work for few hours a day. Mostly sitting at his desk but at least he was able to get out of his house. He was going a bit stir crazy. Being with Phil hovering over him was driving him crazy and when he would retreat to his room all he thought about was Janet. He didn't want to think about her but he did. His anger seemed to dissipate over time but the thought of Rooster and Janet together would come to him in his dreams. He couldn't get that visual out of his mind. He kept trying to go over the days events and figure out where everything went so wrong. The morning was perfect waking up with Janet next to him. They engaged in his new favorite morning ritual before getting out of bed and getting ready for the day. They sat and ate breakfast together while he read the paper. He then went off to work with a pat on the butt and kiss goodbye. He felt like there was nothing that could make him happier then he was that morning and then Rory showed up. He often thought about what would have happened if she never would have returned. Would he be living with Janet by now? Would he have told her he loved her? Would she have said it in return? But now he was alone and not interested in any one else or trying to have anyone else. He only wanted to find some happiness again, but how.

"So what are you thinking about so intently over there?" Nick said trying to see if Eddie would finally open up about him and Janet.

Eddie thought for a second and said, "I was thinking about the day I was attacked." He said as if still lost in thought.

"What ever happened with the court date for Lausch?" Nick asked.

"Lausch plead out with the help of his shady attorney that Big Cat got for him…he'll serve about 2 years in prison and the rest on probation." Eddie said distractly

"Oh, well at least he got prison time…the judge could have just given him probation so that's good right?" Nick said.

"I guess." Eddie said looking out the window

"But that isn't really want is on your mind totally is it Eddie?" Nick said pushing it a little.

"Not entirely, I just don't know if I am ready to talk about it Nicky." Eddie said still looking out the window

"Ok but when you are I am here ok buddy." Nick said getting up and walking past Eddie tapping him on the shoulder.

"Thanks Nick." Eddie said finally starting to look at the papers on his desk.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Janet returned to the Ridge and was unpacking her things after a few days spent with her Grandparents. She loved spending time with them but even then it reminded her of Eddie. She felt like there was no place left that didn't have a memory of Eddie. She was looking forward to her new job and hoped that her first day wasn't so overwhelming with new information. She has never done anything like being a dispatcher before so part of her was thrilled to learn something new and the other part was completely freaked out because people's lives depended on her reaction to their phone calls. Suddenly the phone rang her out of her thoughts.

"Hello?" Janet asked

"Hey your back" Hannah said sounding very happy that she was there.

"Yeah just got back actually…what goes on, you sound upset?" Janet said worried

"Can I come over and talk?" Hannah asked hoping that she would say yes

"Yeah sure…." Janet said but all she heard was a click and not more than a minute later her door bell rang.

"What is going on Hannah?" Janet said opening her door as Hannah practically ran into her house.

"I think I am going to call off the wedding…I don't think I can marry Ray…" Hannah said matter of factly.

As Janet stood there closing the door Hannah was telling her this information. She closed the door and said, "Oooookkaayyy" somewhat puzzled.

"I think he was behind the attack on Eddie. I know Matt was the one that did it but I think Ray put him up to it…I can't marry someone like that…I don't think I can go back home either…what was I thinking even dating this guy." Hannah was now pacing back and forth.

"How did you find this out? Why now? What happened in the two days I was gone?" Janet asked

"I overheard a conversation between Ray and Matt on the phone…Ray has been paying for the attorney that represented Matt and Matt is mad because he got prison time and Ray told him that he wouldn't get any…" Hannah said rapidly.

"Ok, Ok….Janet thought for a second… Hannah I will support whatever decision you make you know that but all I ask is that you make sure this is what you really want and that your making the decision based on actual facts and for the right reasons because it will get ugly and I don't want you looking back and doubting yourself later on." Janet said cautiously.

"Why? Do you think I am making a mistake? I wish Nick would never have come back he is messing everything up." Hannah began to cry.

"Hannah, you can't help how you feel. Those feelings don't just disappear because Nick did and if there are still feelings there on both of your parts you should explore them and if they are there deal with them and if their not then move on and finally put this relationship behind you." Janet said with hands on her hips.

Hannah looked at her as if to say the same thing to her. "You should practice what you preach you know that."

"It is not the same thing Hannah and you know it." Janet said throwing her hands in the air.

"Yeah, how is it different?" Hannah said looking directly at Janet

"It is different because it is…Eddie doesn't have feelings for me like that he made that pretty clear the last time I saw him besides even if he did after what I did they aren't there anymore, sleeping with Rooster just isn't something he would ever forgive…look at how he treated Ikey after he found out about the affair with Owen's wife and they have been friends since they were kids." Janet said trying to convince Hannah and maybe herself.

"If that is true Janet then why is he moping around this city like he lost his puppy…everyone has noticed a drastic change in him and if he didn't feel anything for you then why was he so upset…not only that Janet but if he didn't care then he would just return to what Eddie does best and that is sleeping with the ladies." Hannah said emphatically.

Janet sat there a bit and thought about what Hannah said. 'In some way that is comforting to know that he is affected by our break up but since he hasn't tried to contact me obviously he is still angry or has moved on from what he did feel for me, either way our relationship is more than over.'

"All I am saying Hannah is be 100% certain about how you feel before you act because I am tellin' ya from personal experience if your not you could be making a huge Wolf out of this situation." Janet said smiling

Hannah looked up and at Janet and the two burst into laughter. It felt good to laugh again and then they hugged each other. "Ok Janet I'll think about it some more but just so you know to prepare yourself for a runaway bride come August." She said and Janet replied, "Duly noted."

The next day Janet arrived at her new job and was completely overwhelmed by all the changes in her life. Her day was filled with new names, faces and a lot of information that Janet was trying to store in her memory. Her first impression was that she would like the people and the job itself but after hearing everything that she would be responsible for she started to question if this was such a great idea but one thing was for sure, Janet has never backed down from a challenge and this one would be her biggest one yet, she thought.

The whole department with the exception of the officers that were out on patrol treated Janet to a lunch catered into the police station. They all sat around the conference table and talked and shared information about the station and the town and themselves a bit. Janet had never really felt so welcomed before but she knew even though this job came with a lot of responsibility and would take some time getting used to that she would love it. It was soon her turn to start answering questions…

"So, Janet, why did you decide to apply here?" The chief of police's secretary, Mary, asked her.

"I decided to go back to school and my job at Sully's, it's a bar in the Ridge, just wasn't going to work with my school schedule. So I thought I would look around and see what was out there and came across this job. I thought since I listen to problems at the bar and take care of unruly drunks and break up fights and work with the cops when things get a little out of hand that I would have the right experience." She said chuckling a bit.

"The only difference being now you will be attached to a phone but yeah you're right basically about the same." Mary said.

"Are you just going to school now? Why did you decide to go back to school now?" One of the other police officers, Chuck asked.

"It is something that I have always wanted to do and I guess I decided that since some things have changed in my life recently now would be a good time to start." Janet said somewhat hesitantly knowing someone would probably ask…and they did.

"Like what things?" Mary asked.

"My boyfriend and I just broke up a few months ago. It is hard to explain but I just feel like now is a good time to make some changes. That's all besides it keeps me busy so I won't think about it too much…you know girls that over analyze everything right?" Janet said laughing hoping that the joke will get them to focus on someone else.

Mary said, "Well good for you Janet. Don't let any man keep you from your dreams! I think that it is great what you are doing." Janet got the feeling that Mary had been there a time or two in her life by how emphatically she was speaking.

Chuck realizing that he needs to bring these ladies back from a possible men bashing conversation that could potentially erupt he said, "Ok, enough get to know Janet time it is back to work and learning about being a dispatcher!" With that they cleaned up and headed back into the station for part two of the days training.

Janet left work and was thoroughly exhausted. So much information was floating around her head she was having a hard time remembering what streets to turn on. The drive was not a long one but she did appreciate the 30 minutes it took for her to drive home because she felt more relaxed once she got there. She thought to herself, 'there is a bubble bath and wine in your future followed by some lazy couch time with my favorite shows.'

After Janet got settled and finished her bath and was comfy on the couch flipping through the channels her phone went off. She picked it up to find a text message from Hannah, "how did your first day go?"

Janet texted back, "It was great! Very busy, a lot of info but good."

"Feel like coming to Sully's for one." Hannah wrote back.

"No, just going to relax a bit and go to bed." Janet wrote back.

"Ok" Hannah wrote…but seconds later, "if you change your mind…"

Janet just turned her phone off and went back to channel flipping.

Hannah was sitting at the bar and noticed that the 'crew' was all there. Eddie wasn't his normal charming self. He seemed to be very uncomfortable being there and spent a lot of time looking around. Hannah thought to herself 'he's looking for Janet'. Hannah wanted to see Eddie reaction if Janet were to come down there and then she would know where he stood but Janet wasn't going to budge this much she was sure. There was something different about Eddie but she couldn't put her finger on it. He was smiling and talking with his buddies but there was something in his eyes that held what she thought was a sadness that she hadn't seen in a long time, maybe ever. It was close to what he looked like when Rory broke up with him on that faithful night they slept together but this seemed almost like it was a deeper sadness, she just couldn't explain it.

As Hannah watched, Sully came up to the table and Hannah walked over to the Jukebox to eavesdrop on what he had to say.

"Hey Eddie it is good to see you in here again. How are you feeling?" Sully said patting him on the back.

"I am doing better. The body is still healing a bit but it is good to be out of the hospital that much is for sure." Eddie said smiling.

"Well that's good…glad to hear it. I better get back, I'm a bartender short these days." With that Sully turned to leave.

Eddie sat there and wondered what he meant by that. In fact he thought it was a little odd that Janet wasn't working as she typically worked on Monday nights. Then he got angry with himself for thinking about her, again. 'When I am going to be able to get her out of my head, it is over and that is that.' He thought.

He went back to join the conversation and that is when he heard his friends talking about Janet. Nick said, "Janet quit. They had a going away thing for her a few days ago but didn't say where she was going…" Owen said, "Hmmmm, wonder what that is all about." And then they both looked at Eddie as he clearly just joined the conversation.

"Why are you morons looking at me? How would I know what she does or doesn't do we aren't together anymore remember?" Eddie said trying to sound convincing even though he hated how that sounded.

"Yeah we know that you aren't together anymore, you said but what you didn't say is why and I have a hard time believing that you are just over her just like that." Owen said.

"Drop it, Big O, my personal life is just that personal." Eddie said getting up. "I'm going to take off, see ya in the morning Nicky." He said leaving out the door before Owen and Nick could get a word out.

"Yup he is totally over her, I can tell." Owen said smiling

"Something big happened that much I am sure but what it was I just can't pin point. I have a suspicion that that visit from Rory the day of his beat down is at the heart of it though and I also believe that Janet left here because of it…time will tell." Nick said

With that the two friends went back to drinking and Hannah returned to her seat at the bar. She suspected that Eddie still had feelings for Janet and that he cared for her a lot more then she thought he did but now Hannah knows that it isn't 'over' for Eddie like Janet thinks…but what to do about it? Hannah thought.

As Hannah takes a drink of her beer she thought, "this project for another day, now to figure out what to do in my own life." She finishes her beer and heads home to deal with the break up that she has been putting off.

"Its time for me to take some control back of my own" Hannah said and with that she left Sully's to end her relationship and engagement with Ray Cataldo.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

The weeks had flown by and it was now time for Janet to take her entrance exam to the Duf. She was so busy with learning her new job and adjusting to the drive that she could not believe these two weeks flew by so quickly. She did get a chance to go over some to the material that she got when registering for the test so put her brain back in education and testing taking mode. She was very nervous still.

Janet was running around her house trying to get ready and get out the door for her test when there was a knock on her door. She thought, "Are you kidding me? What now?"

Hannah stood there was coffee, a cinnamon roll and a smile. "I thought you might need a coffee, some sugar and a hug for good luck!" She said walking into the door.

Janet said, "Thanks Hannah, I am freakin out…what if I don't pass this test? What if I can't remember how to do anything? My whole future rides on this damn test…" She was clearly upset and nervous.

"Janet slow down, your whole future does not ride on this test…if you don't pass it or whatever your score you will just have to take it again or pick the community college to start with and work your way back to the Duf…either way don't put that much pressure on yourself right now." Hannah said trying to get her to settle down.

"Ok, you're right I am freakin out…ok I need to just relax, find my shoes and get out the door and just take a test…no biggie." She was really trying to lesson the importance on what she was about to do.

"Hey, why don't I drive you there? That way you don't have to worry about killing your self or someone else on the way…" Hannah said smiling.

"Fine…that probably would be a good idea…let's get going then." Janet said smiling back and walking out the door.

Hannah sat in the waiting area outside the testing site reading a magazine waiting for Janet. It had been hours and she was starting to get freaked out herself that Janet wasn't doing well but then she remembered back to when she took this very test and it took several hours. She would just wait until Janet got done…'no panicking' she thought.

Janet walked out of the testing room looking much more relieved then she did when she went into it. It took a long time, nearly 4 hours but she made it through all the questions and turned in her testing papers. The moderator told her that the results would be back in a few weeks time and would arrive by mail. She smiled at Hannah who was clearly waiting for a thumbs up or thumbs down.

"How did it go Janet?" Hannah said excitedly

"I think ok…I knew more of the answers than I thought I would so we'll see…but I think I did ok…I hope so anyway." She said even looking much more relieved.

"That is really great Janet. I am so proud of you for doing this at all…I think it is amazing that you are finally going back to school after all these years. How about a celebration lunch…Sully's?" Hannah said.

"Ok yeah I haven't seen the old man in a while I am sure he would love to hear that I took the test anyway." Janet said and the two of them left the testing site and headed to Sully's.

"Well look who it is…did you come to your senses and change your mind about working here? We sure miss ya." Sully said to Janet when he saw it was her walking through the door.

"No Sully but thanks for the offer. I just took my entrance test to the Duf…hopefully come this fall I'll be a full time student there…and I can come here at a student and harass ya." Janet said playfully before walking up to Sully to give him a hug.

"Good for you Janet. I couldn't be prouder of you. I do miss you around here but I am proud of you for going back to school. It takes guts." Sully said, "ok you ladies look hungry what can I get ya."

The two girls ordered burgers and fries and settled for margaritas as the celebration drink…it was Saturday after all and sometime after noon so they both thought, "what the heck."

After several margaritas and hours spent at Sully's both Janet and Hannah had certainly celebrated the test's conclusion. Janet and Hannah spent the entire after noon laughing and drinking. They did manage to eat a little something for lunch but it clearly wasn't doing much to keep them any where near sober. It was around 6pm and the crowd was starting to come in for the evening. Janet and Hannah were in no shape to drive and barely in any shape to walk but they thought they would give it a try anyway. They both got up to leave and in walked Nick, Owen, Ikey and Eddie. It was like the wind was knocked right out of Janet. She knew at some point this may happen but she thought if she kept herself busy enough that it would be later rather then earlier.

There was a moment when Eddie and Janet's eyes locked and no one moved…Hannah, Nick, Owen and Ikey just watched their two friends fully realizing that neither one of them was ready to move on from each other no matter what they said. It had been about 5 months since the attack and neither had really talked about why they broke up…well Janet told Hannah but Eddie was keeping the details pretty close to the vest. It was clear to them all that there were still feelings there between both of them. Suddenly Eddie had this wave of anger that moved over him and his eyes changed in that moment and Janet saw those same eyes from the hospital.

Suddenly Janet ran to the bathroom and went into the bathroom stall and got sick. Hannah soon followed after her and asked if she was ok.

"Janet, honey are you ok?" Hannah said outside the stall door.

Janet sat on the floor with her head in the toilet and tearing streaming down her face. She could not avoid her feelings and they seemed to be just as strong as they were 5 months earlier and then those eyes…those eyes were just as filled with hate as they were 5 months ago. In that moment Janet knew her chances for any hope of reconciliation with Eddie were gone. All he saw when he looked at her was anger over her infidelity. She thought, "he will never see me again as anything other than the girl who cheated on him."

"Janet are you ok sweetie talk to me." Hannah said knocking on the door.

Still significantly intoxicated, she said, "He hates me Hannah…did you see his eyes…he will never forgive what I did…he shouldn't anyway what I did was unforgivable…I shouldn't have come here this is his bar…what was I thinking…what am I going to do…I love him Hannah…I love him." She said so quietly Hannah almost didn't hear her. Hannah could hear the muffled cries and knew she needed to get her friend out of there without going back out to the bar.

"Janet honey hang on I am going to see if Sully can help get us out of here out the back…I am going to call us a cab just hang on sweetie ok?" Hannah said drunk herself leaving the bathroom on a mission.

Hannah walked out the door and there was Eddie. He looked towards the floor and looked up when he saw the door open.

"What are you doing here Eddie?" Hannah said surprised that he was standing there.

"I…I don't know…I wanted to make sure she is ok I guess…I don't know Hannah…I don't know about anything anymore." Eddie said sounding so exhausted and confused.

"Eddie, I know that you are upset and angry and I know that you need time to be able to come to terms with how you feel but don't shut her out of your life entirely. There was a time Eddie when we made that very same mistake and we both know that we never meant for any of that to happen but it did…She is really upset and thinks that you never cared about her and that there is no way you could ever forgive her…she is in love with you Eddie and this is tearing her heart apart. I am only asking for you to think about this. How would Nick react if he knew what his best friend did? Would he forgive you? Why would he forgive you? Sometimes we make mistakes in life Eddie and I think you made a bunch that day too that you need to deal with but Janet is not an unfaithful person. I have known her my entire life and she would not have done this to hurt you she did this because she was hurt over you…don't shut the door Eddie, not all the way." Hannah said walking away to call the cab company.

Janet layed on the floor in the bathroom and she cried, and cried and cried. She hadn't really allowed herself to cry over the break up until this moment. She tried to pick herself up and do something with her life but she deep down she was so sad over the loss of her relationship with Eddie. She finally said the words out loud to Hannah, the words that she had hoped weren't true…that she loved Eddie. She would never allow herself to say them to Eddie because she was convinced he didn't feel the same. Saying the words out loud now only hurt worse because to love someone and not be able to be with them was worse than anything she could ever imagine but to know it was because of something she did was more than she could bear. The more she tried to avoid it the worse it became and tonight seeing him for the first time in her intoxicated state she couldn't avoid it any longer.

Eddie stood in the hallway and walked slowly towards the door to the bathroom. He could hear what he thought sounded like someone crying and it broke his heart. He knew that Janet was the one crying and he knew in his heart that it was because of him. He knew that she was upset but to hear the torture from those cries was more than he could handle. He turned quickly and left the hallway and walked out the front door not saying a word to anyone. He went straight home and went up to his room. Luckily Phil was preoccupied with Pizza Girl and didn't hear him come in. He got into his room and quietly closed his door. He layed down on his bed and stared towards the ceiling as tears began to roll down each side of his face onto his pillow. He never made a sound just spent the next few hours like that until he finally fell asleep. Eddie knew that his heart wasn't over Janet and was beginning to wonder if it ever would be but when he saw her he got so angry. He didn't know how to deal with all these emotions or how he felt but he knew that he couldn't avoid them any longer. It was time for him to open up and talk about his relationship with Janet and what really happened that day because he clearly couldn't handle it himself. There was only one person Eddie trusted enough to tell his deepest thoughts too, the one person who would be honest with him and tell him like it was, even if he was the one that was wrong. He knew that he wasn't faultless in this situation but he just couldn't get past Janet's reaction, sleeping with Rooster. Sure he had kissed Rory and maybe kept Janet in the dark about her presence in town but he didn't sleep with Rory how could Janet have been that upset to get drunk enough to sleep with another man. It just didn't make any sense and until he could figure it out there would be no chance between them to reconcile their relationship.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Hannah got Janet out of Sully's and back in her living room. Both of them were intoxicated but Janet was in far worse shape emotionally. She finally let her emotions win out and let out all the things she had been holding back for months. Janet was a firm believer in trying to move forward and not let her self get so caught up in her emotions. She did that the night that she found Eddie kissing Rory and look what that got her. She was trying so hard to stay focused on other things so she wouldn't let herself think about all that she had lost but seeing him tonight and being intoxicated, a combination even Janet couldn't control.

"Hannah when is it going to stop hurting? I feel like someone has ripped my heart from my chest stomped on it and is trying to jam it back in there." She said slurring most of her words.

"Janet I wish I could tell you it will stop but sometimes the hurting never does and in a moment it can all come rushing back…kind of like tonight. I am sorry Janet maybe going to Sully's wasn't such a good idea." Hannah said feeling really badly.

"It was bound to happen at some point, this town is too freakin small. I just wasn't prepared for what it would feel like…being drunk apparently didn't help either." She said chuckling still slurring her words.

"It never does…let me tell ya." Hannah said smiling.

"Hey do you want me to stay over tonight? Sam is at Dooties so I could…"Hannah said hoping she would say yes.

"You know what that would be great Hannah…OMG do I have vomit in my hair?" Janet said all of the sudden looking at her hair.

Hannah laughs, "No you don't but lets get some water in ya…your head may not feel the greatest tomorrow…maybe some aspirin too."

"Good thinking…Oh and Hannah, thanks for everything tonight…it was nice to laugh again and for a while feel happy about something I did right for a change and for helping me when things didn't go so right…you are the best best friend a girl can have." Janet said smiling.

"Anytime my friend, anytime…" Hannah said and then she headed off to the kitchen to get water and aspirin for them both.

Janet layed her head back on the back of the couch and looked up at the ceiling. She thought to her self, 'someday it won't hurt this much, someday he won't look at you with such hatred in his eyes, someday you will be able to look back on this night and just remember the part of the night when you admitted that you loved someone, truly loved someone, not only someone but Eddie and someday that will make you smile…maybe not someday soon but someday this experience will give you the courage to face your fears and tell the next someone exactly how you feel and maybe that someone will be able to say it back…maybe…someday.'

It had been two weeks since Janet took the entrance exam and every day she was waiting for the letter from the school to let her know if she got in or not. Everyday she would come home from work and look in her mailbox and no letter. She was starting to wonder if she passed at all and they were going to be sending her the "with our regrets" letter instead.

Janet had really caught on to her job duties quickly. As part of her job training she went on a ride along with one of the police officers and was able to see how the police and victims both worked with the dispatcher. Janet got to see first hand how important it was for her to remain calm and ask all the right questions. In a small town the calls were pretty routine, arguments, bar fights, car accidents, heart attacks but she had to be prepared for any emergency that arose. The nights went by quickly at first because she kept reading over manuals and quizzing herself trying to find a way to learn all that she needed to know but now she had been there over a month and the waiting for her exam results was killing her. But if she were honest with herself it wasn't just her exam results it was her mind taking her back to that night at Sully's, seeing Eddie. She just couldn't shake the feeling she had that night. She missed him so much it physically hurt. She often thought about calling him to see if he wanted to talk but every time she thought about it she pictured his eyes and she knew there was no point. So she just tried to say focused and hope that her letter would come soon, then she would be too busy to think about what might have been.

Eddie decided it was time to figure out what to do with his feelings for Janet both good and bad. There was only one person that could help him to figure it all out and be honest with him and keep the conversation in the vault, that was Big O. He went over to his house a few days after the 'run in' at Sully's. Luckily, Owen was home alone.

"Hey Big O, what goes on?" Eddie said walking in his front screen door.

"Eddie…what brings you by? Come on in." Owen said with a smile

"I was wondering if you had some time…I think I need to talk." Eddie said sitting down in one of the recliners in the living room.

"I kind of figured this conversation was coming after the other night." Owen handed Eddie a beer and sat in the other recliner a few feet away.

"I don't know what to do here O, I am just so messed up right now." Eddie said peeling the label off the bottle after taking a sip.

"Why don't you start from the beginning and tell me what exactly happened that broke the two of you up? I have to tell ya that was a shock to us all." O said.

"A shock to you…it was the last conversation I ever thought I would have with Janet but after what happened I just lost it…." He said now staring at his beer bottle and pausing…

"The day that I got the beat down Rory came back to town…I was surprised to say the least and I wasn't really prepared for how I felt about it all…I wasn't exactly honest with Janet either and I am not exactly sure why…" he said.

"Ok, but what were you not honest about." O said cautiously.

"Janet called me that morning and Rory was already at the shop. I just said I would call her back and then I shut my phone off. I didn't call her back. I don't know why but I didn't tell her the Rory was back in town or that she was in the shop…I didn't think it was a big deal but as it turns out it ended up being one." He said

"Because Janet found out or she was mad, what happened?" O said listening intently

"Yeah she did but I didn't know that and then I went to Sully's for lunch and I still didn't tell her but I just didn't think it was important. She kept asking me if anyone interesting came in to the shop and I told her Nick's agent from New York did."

"Ouch" O said

"Yeah but the big thing was later on that night, Rory stopped by the house with beers and Canoli's like the ones I always got for her when we were in high school. We sat out on the porch and ate them and were talking and we kissed. I knew right away that it was a mistake but it happened. I told Rory that I was seeing someone and she left shortly after that. I was planning on telling Janet about it that night but I got jumped when I stopped at the shop. I never got the chance and then…" he hesitated

"Eddie I can see why Janet would be upset put yourself in her position….Rory is like a legend in this town…kind of like Hail Eddie…you had to know that she would be hurt by you basically blowing her off for Rory and the kiss…well lucky she didn't see that." O started to say and then stopped and looked at Eddie's face…"she did didn't she so that is why you two broke up?" Owen said trying to make sense of it.

"Not exactly…she saw the kiss and assumed that I had chosen Rory or something like that and she went home upset, called Rooster and ended up sleeping with him…she actually had sex with that weasel." Eddie said starting to get upset again.

Owen just sat there. All these thoughts were swirling around his head. It made no sense that Janet would sleep with Rooster they had been friends for a long time. Owen was still in the midst of his thoughts when Eddie spoke again.

"I just don't know if I can get past that O. I mean she SLEPT with another man, she cheated on me with Rooster of all people. That guy has hated me from day one and I am sure couldn't wait to have his chance but Janet I don't get it, I kissed Rory yeah but to sleep with someone else that is absolutely unforgivable right?" Eddie said looking at Owen now.

"You know Eddie. I was so angry with Ikey for sleeping with Allison that I didn't take the time to understand why it happened in the first place – all I cared about was the hurt I was feeling – it is all I could focus on. What I discovered in my situation was that Allison had been trying to tell me what she needed all along but I wasn't listening. I thought everything was great but it wasn't. When I found about what she did with Ikey I completely lost it but when we started to go to counseling and talking about everything I realized that the signs were there all along and I missed them. It is going to take a long time for us to work through our issues but now I know that it wasn't all Allison and Ikey part of that affair had to do with me too. I am not saying that it is your fault what Janet did but what I am saying is that you need to look at your relationship with Janet. What would have made her react that way when Rory came back? Was Janet absolutely sure about how you felt about her? Was she secure in your relationship or was there doubt? Because if she wasn't then your old girlfriend who was almost as legendary in her looks as you were in football coming back to town may have caused her to wonder and then you spent the day avoiding her and spending it with your old 'hot' girlfriend. Eddie you know as well as I do that it wasn't just a kiss with an old girlfriend, you lied to her, hid things from her…she may have been thinking why were you doing all those things and started doubting her self and doubting how you really felt about her. Seeing the two of you kissing regardless of how long or who initiated it or who stopped it in her mind was all she needed to confirm that she had lost you and Rory had won. In her mind, Rory is the ideal woman – the kind of woman that you are 'suppose' to be with or at least that is what she keeps hearing about at the bar and from your friends, yeah I am a moron about the twins, but that's the problem Eddie the one person who was suppose to make her feel like none of that mattered was the one sneaking around with his ex. I am not condoning what she did Eddie by any means but I can see why she reacted the way she did…I think she thought your relationship was over and you had chosen Rory because she didn't have anything to hold onto to – to tell her she was wrong…we all do stupid things sometimes especially when we are hurt and drunk – look at me when I went to New York of all places…to the one person I knew would get me in trouble the fastest…Janet turned to someone she thought would help her – I don't think she intended to sleep with him but in her drunken, disheartened state maybe he told her the things that she needed to hear from you…at least she didn't try to hide it from you Eddie . I don't know Eddie, the one thing I can say is when you two were together that is the happiest I have ever seen you and if you didn't care at all we wouldn't be having this conversation would we?" Owen said trying to figure out what Eddie was thinking.

Eddie was quiet for a moment and then said, "When she first told me about what she did with Rooster all I saw was red and I said some pretty nasty things that I knew would hurt her. I wanted her to feel as badly as I did but I think I may have gone too far. I turned her insecurities against her. It was like I kept saying all these things to her watching her break down, tears streaming down her face and then I started to scream 'get out' over and over. That look on her face is one I will never forget but at the same time it felt like being beaten down all over again. When I think about it, go over it in my mind I just don't understand why she wouldn't just confront me or yell at me – anything – why would she give herself to someone else? She always called me out on everything except this day…why? Maybe I didn't say the words Owen but I thought I showed her how I felt. She couldn't have been that clueless to my feelings even though I didn't say exactly how I felt. But seriously Owen, she slept with someone else while she was suppose to be with me, I just don't know if I can get past that and trust her again…" Eddie said looking back at his now empty beer.

"The question here Eddie is do you want to get past it or move on from it. Those are two totally different things. If you want to move on from it that means you are over your relationship with Janet but if you are looking for a way to move past the infidelity than you aren't over your feelings for Janet and you need to find a way to talk to her and figure it out, work through it – it's not an easy choice but if you love her than it would be worth trying to figure out…but Eddie you are the only one who knows the answer to that question. I think deep down you and I both know what that answer is…"

Owen said getting up to go get more beers.

Eddie sat there taking in all of what Owen had said. He didn't feel as though he had all the answers but at least he felt as though he was getting closer. He did feel better after talking to Owen about the whole situation but he still didn't feel that right now was the time to talk with Janet. The one thing he felt certain of was that at some point he and Janet would need to talk if there was ever going to be hope that their relationship could withstand all the mistakes they both made.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

Eddie had a lot to think about. He wasn't sure if he was ready for all the things that he and Owen discussed. Was he really in love with Janet? Is that why he is having such a hard time with this or is it something else? Could he really talk to her or would he just get angry all over again? How do you forgive someone who cheated on you? So many questions were going through his mind. He just couldn't focus on anything. There was a part of him that felt that maybe he needed to try and get back out there to see if he could get over Janet but there was a big part of him that just wasn't interested. He knew that Janet wasn't getting out there and dating anyone otherwise he would have heard about it. Come to think of it he hadn't even seen Rooster since before they broke up. Not that he wanted to but he thought it was odd that Sully never mentioned being down two bartenders so what happened to Rooster? One thing is for sure Eddie wasn't ready to do anything until he had time to think about things some more. If he decided to try and talk with Janet doing it too soon would only end in anger and blow any chance they may have of working things out.

Janet walked out to her mailbox and finally her letter arrived from the Duf. She stared at the envelope for what seemed like hours but finally turned and walked back towards her house opening the envelope as she was walking. She got to her steps and opened the letter. She thought as she read, "look for the congratulations or we regret to inform…letters always say one of those two things." As she read she saw the word 'congratulations' and she read further. She had indeed passed her entrance exam and had been accepted into the fall class at the Duf. But now, she thought, 'I have to declare a major…what am I going to do.' She didn't really have time to talk about it just then because she had to head to work.

Eddie had gone into work the following day and everything was going pretty well. His body was healing nicely and he continued to work longer and longer hours. He started to feel more like himself and that he was thankful for. Apparently that is what he needed to just talk all of it out with someone because even though he hadn't made a decision about anything he felt like a huge weight had been lifted from him and he could concentrate on work and go hours without thinking about her or their relationship. As he sat at his desk he heard the door bell ding, he looked up "can I help you?"

"Yes, I need to look at some windows. I have needed new windows for a while but have been really trying to put it off…I don't think I can any longer." The woman said.

Eddie looked at her. She was pretty with long blond hair. Her appearance was very simple and she appeared to be somewhat shy and a little awkward. "Well what are you thinking of doing? What type of windows were you thinking of getting? For a house or…" he said inquiring

"Oh yeah I am sorry for my house…I am not so good with this stuff. I have 11 windows and the house is a ranch style I guess. They are mostly basic windows but the living room has a big window in it. I don't think I can do them all right away but I thought I should at least figure out what I need." She said shyly.

"No problem. Let's go over here and I'll show you what we have. I would have to come out at some point and measure the windows to give you an actual estimate but this will give you an idea of what to expect at least. Do you live here in the Ridge?" Eddie asked.

"No I live in Grand Springs. I heard that this place does a good job and I work near here so I thought I would stop in. I feel kind of out of place doing this stuff but I guess it's only me so I have to figure it out right?" she said laughing hesitantly.

"Oh ok well I'll show ya the windows and then when you are ready I'll take a trip there to measure your windows for an actual estimate. We'll take care of you so don't worry, it's not as hard as it looks trust me." Eddie said trying to put her as ease.

After she left the shop Eddie thought about her for a bit. She said it was only her but oddly enough he wasn't interested in her in any way. He thought, "She is pretty and petite, kind of simple" but as he continued to think about her he couldn't help but notice that he was starting to compare her to Janet. Normally this would be the kind of girl Eddie would ask out at least. Could it be that Owen was right? Could it be that I don't want to move on from Janet because maybe I did love her and maybe I am still in love with her? One thing was for sure, Eddie knew that his habits had changed and he definitely wasn't interested in the life he once had, he was interested in having someone in his life who meant something to him and he could have a future with. He wasn't going to be happy with sleeping around anymore now that he knows what it feels like to have that one person who knows you, that is there for you and they have your back and you have…'that was the problem' Eddie thought in an Aha moment,' Eddie you are such an idiot, you knew how you were feeling but you never told her…I would hope that she knew that I cared about her…but I guess we didn't start off the best with the whole barbeque thing…why didn't I just tell her that Rory was in town and at the shop that day…why was I hiding that from her? That still doesn't give her the right to cheat on me? None of this makes any sense…" Eddie says getting frustrated once again. He knew that he would need to talk to her but not while he was still so frustrated and angry.

Janet was so excited that she got into the fall semester. She got to work and was walking on cloud 9. She had had a hard time since her Eddie "sighting" being happy about anything so this mood she was in was definitely noticeable.

"Hey Janet" Mary said, "What's with the big smile?"

"I got my acceptance letter today FINALLY to the Duf…I got into the fall semester!" Janet said excited.

"That is just great Janet" Mary said "you have looked so down lately I am happy something is making you happy."

Janet thought, 'wow, I thought I was hiding it pretty well'. "yeah but your right things are looking up now."

"If you ever want to talk Janet I hope you know you can talk to me." Mary said hoping that Janet knew she was being sincere and not nosey.

"Thanks Mary I do appreciate that but there isn't anything I can do about that issue anyway but try and move on and this is going to help me do it!" Janet said and they both got on with the business of their jobs.

Weeks went by and Janet was so busy between working and registering for classes, getting her books and trying to figure out her schedule that she had almost forgotten about Hannah's wedding.

She couldn't believe that Hannah with all her doubts was still going through with this wedding but every time Hannah tried to call it off her mom would talk her out of it and make her doubt herself. Hannah was confused that much Janet knew but she wasn't entirely sure that Hannah would go through with it on the day…it would be a very interesting day to say the least but now it was time to go and save the world or at least Grand Springs.

Eddie had taken the trip to Grand Springs to measure the windows as he had promised the shy woman that had come into the shop weeks earlier. He had hoped to get out there earlier but things got busy around the shop all of the sudden and he almost forgot about it but luckily had it written on his desk calendar. The woman was right the house was pretty simple and didn't have much in the way of unusual windows they were all pretty standard. He was in the midst of measuring the picture window in the front of the house when he heard the loudest crash sound he had ever heard. He looked around and had discovered that there was a major head on collision that happened right in front of the house he was working on practically. He grabbed his phone and dialed 911:

"911…what's your emergency?" Janet said

"oh…yeah…ahhh there was a car accident on Redwood…I don't know if it's a street or avenue…I don't live here I am just doing some work on a house here…I don't know if anyone is ok or what happened I just heard the crash and I don't see any one moving….ahhh." Eddie was rambling clearly shaken up.

"Ok, Ok…sir…can you answer some questions for me." Janet said trying to get the caller to calm down and get some information for the police and ambulance.

"Yeah sure whatever you need…"

911: "Ok, how many cars were involved in the accident?"

"Um I think just two but they look like they hit each head on…no body is getting out of the cars…what should I do?" Eddie said as he is approaching the scene on foot.

911: "Sir, are you near any of the cars?"

"Yeah I am walking up to them now…"

911: "Tell me what you see…I have already dispatching the police and ambulance so they are on the way."

"I can see one of the drivers…they have blood on their forehead but it doesn't look like they have any passengers…oh wait I hear crying…"

911: "Ok is the crying coming from the other car…you are doing great by the way…help is on the way so just stay with me…"

"I have never seen an accident like this…yeah the crying is coming from the other car, I am walking there now. I can hear the sirens they are pretty close…oh there are kids in the other car…what should I do?" Eddie was now panicking because he can see that the kids are crying and hurt in the other car.

911: "It is ok Sir, the ambulance should be there momentarily. You are doing great just keep talking to me and telling me what you see…"

"I can see the kids in the back seat, it looks like two boys but I don't know for sure…they are in car seats…they don't have blood on their faces or anything but the driver looks like a woman and she doesn't look like she is awake…Oh I can see the ambulance now."

911: "Ok that's good…thank you so much for all your help and helping these people…this will help the EMT's assess the situation more clearly…are you ok, Sir? It can be difficult to be the first person on the scene."

"I'm ok, I have just never seen anything like this…I don't think I helped that much but thanks for talking me through it…has anyone ever told you you have a very calming voice" Eddie chuckled a little however was totally serious

911: "Actually yeah I have heard that before, its my job to help keep those around me calm so I can get the best information. Just be aware that you may need to talk to someone about what happened today because we can feel traumatized even witnessing a trauma so please Sir take care of yourself ok."

"Thanks again I will." Eddie said thinking about Janet in that moment as this would definitely be something that he would have talked to her about when he got home from work. It was in that moment that he really missed his relationship with Janet. It was also in that moment for the first time since their break up that he felt an interest in someone else. There was something about this woman's voice, it seemed familiar in some way, calming…he was having a hard time getting her voice out of his head.

Janet was very excited for her first day of school. She couldn't believe that time had flown by so quickly and she was started at the Duf. She knew her first weeks would be crazy busy with getting to know her class schedule and also having to deal with Hannah's wedding quickly approaching. Yet she was excited for the distraction. She was enjoying her job as a dispatcher and as it turns out seemed to be exactly what they thought she would be in her role. The police department had received several calls about how happy they were with their experience with Janet and how she kept so calm no matter what the circumstance. They couldn't be happier with her and she felt like she was really making a difference. There was one call that just stuck with her and she didn't really know why. It was a car accident and the person who called seemed very frazzled and upset when he talked with her. Most people she encountered reacted that way when they would report an accident or something but this particular call seemed to stand out in her mind. The voice of the man seemed so familiar to her yet she couldn't figure out how she would have known the person since she didn't live in Grand Springs. He seemed so vulnerable on the phone and sounded like he was genuinely thankful for her help. It was nice to think about someone else for a change rather than her thoughts surrounding Eddie and all her failures in that regard.

Eddie was back in Grand Springs about 8 weeks after the accident occurred with the windows that he had ordered for Beth, the shy woman he had met months earlier that brought him to the Springs in the first place. He got to her house very early in the morning and she had made coffee that she soon offered to him as he started his job. It was a pretty simple job so he went on his own. He knew it would take the better part of the day but since the windows were pretty standard and the home was a ranch style he wouldn't need help from Nick or Ikey, who recently came to work for BFW's when Eddie was in the hospital recovering from his injuries.

As the day progressed, Eddie was nearly done with the windows. All he had left to complete was the front window. This window he knew would be a bigger challenge due to the size of the window so he had called Ikey after lunch to see if he could stop out and help him with the installation of this one window. They had just finished up when Beth came out and said, "These windows look amazing. I am so glad that I came to your shop. Your reputation proceeds you and I can see why. I made some dessert and you two definitely deserve some. Stop in when you are finished."

Eddie and Ikey both looked at each other, "well a little dessert never hurt anyone" Eddie said.  
>"Yeah and neither does the chef." Ikey said winking at Eddie.<p>

"Ikey knock it off…she is a customer." Eddie said with a warning tone

"Not after today she's not." Ikey said finishing up picking up the tools.

The three of them were sitting on her deck in the backyard eating some pie that she had made and talking. Eddie was curious to know what ever happened to those people that had been in the car accident that happened the last time he was in the Springs. If he was being truthful, he wondered about the dispatcher that he talked to. She had been on his mind ever since that day. He wasn't sure why but his curiosity got the best of him.

"So have you heard anything about those people that got into that accident when I was here last?" Eddie said trying to sound casual.

"My gosh, I had forgotten all about that. Yeah, I think they were all ok, just a concussion and some minor broken bones. I think they are all lucky, it could have been a lot worse. I am surprised you remembered that." Beth said.

"Well I did call 911 and was the first person on the scene…that isn't an image you get out of your head very easily. That dispatcher that you have here in the Springs really knows her stuff. If it wasn't for her I would have been a basket case." Eddie said chuckling.

"Oh you mean Janet. Yeah she is great. She has only been our dispatcher for like 5 – 6 months or so but she really is great." Beth said

Eddie nearly choked on his pie. "Did you just say Janet?" he asked

"Yeah I think that is her name. She isn't from the Springs…she just works here…I think if I can remember she lives somewhere else…oh wait I think she is from the Ridge…do you know her?" Beth asked.

"Are you sure she is from the Ridge? What is her last name?" Eddie said not believing what he is hearing.

"I don't know if I can remember…I am sure someone mentioned it once or twice…you know I just can't remember but I want to say it starts with an "m"…why?"

"Oh I was just curious…there are so many Janet's in the Ridge…" Eddie tried to play it off but in his mind he was already going over the call and now he understands why that voice sounded so familiar but it was his Janet…well what used to be his Janet…clearly not even knowing it is her his heart remembered that sound. This was all he needed to realize that he needs to have that talk with her. It is time for him to reach out and talk to Janet.

Eddie and Ikey packed up the truck and were getting ready to leave when Ikey said, "There are so many Janet's in the Ridge…Eddie there is only one that I know of." Ikey said staring directly at Eddie now.

"Drop it Ikey…we are not going to have this discussion so just drop it…now head back to the office and I am going to finish up the paperwork and head back there myself." Eddie said with a warning tone in his voice.

"Ok, Ok…but trust me Eddie you can't run forever…I don't know what happened with you two but I am telling you that she was your forever Eddie…I have never seen you happier than when you were with each other – don't lose sight of that Eddie…that's all I'm gonna say…bye" Ikey said and then got into his truck and was heading down the street before Eddie could even formulate a response.

Eddie finished up all the paperwork and gave Beth all her copies and the warranty on the windows along with his business card. He started off down the street and he couldn't stop thinking about Janet. He had this overwhelming feeling to find her and talk to her. It was then that he saw the police station. Was she working? Would she talk to him? Could she talk to him? So many thoughts were running through his mind. Suddenly he pulled his truck into the parking lot, parked and he was walking in the front door before his mind could catch up with what his body was doing.

He walked up to the front desk and Mary was working.

"Can I help you?" Mary said with a smile.

"Yeah I was hoping that you could tell me if Janet Meadows is working today and if she is can I speak with her for a minute." Eddie said

Mary stared at him for a moment and said, " Yes she is…can I tell her who is here to see her?" she said wondering who this person is to her.

"You can tell her it's Eddie from the Ridge." He said hesitantly

"Ok just one moment Eddie, I'll get her." Mary disappeared in the back part of the station.

"Hey Janet you have a visitor" Mary said watching Janet's face

"I do? Who is it?" Janet said surprised "who would visit me here?"

"He said his name was Eddie from the Ridge." Mary said slowly

Janet froze. She must have heard Mary wrong. 

"Are you sure it is Eddie? That has to be a mistake Mary because Eddie wouldn't…." Janet was now walking towards the front and as she was finishing her sentence she walked through the door and saw Eddie standing there.

Janet approached the front of the station and could not believe her eyes. It was Eddie standing there looking rather intently at her. She walked up to him and before she could say anything, he said, "Is there some where we can talk for a moment."

"Yeah sure we can go out there." Janet pointed to this picnic table area just outside the station.

They walked slowly and awkwardly towards the table and sat down neither of them speaking.

"Why are you here Eddie?" Janet finally said.

"I think that we should talk. I know that now is not the time but I think we should find a time maybe over a drink or something…we have things we need to talk about." Eddie said somewhat repeating himself.

"Ok well I have Hannah's wedding coming up so maybe after that?" She didn't know what to say she was stunned.

"That sounds good…Janet…I…I'll call you." With that Eddie got up and walked away. He turned slightly right before getting in his truck and put up his hand as if to wave bye to her. She simply put her and up also and he was gone just like that. She sat there for a few seconds before Mary came out and said "you have a call…and when you're done you are going to have to tell me who that was." Mary said smiling before disappearing in to the station again.

Janet got up and walked into the police station and thought, "I wonder what else is going to happen tonight!"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

The day had finally come and Hannah was more than nervous. She was sitting in her room with Janet helping her get ready and they start to talk.

"So he agreed to have a drink with me so I guess now I have to sum up 7 months of a relationship over a single vodka and tonic." Janet said

"That sounds promising Janet…" Hannah looked in the mirror at herself and realizes something that she has always known but now she needs to finally do something about….

"Janet I can't do this…"

Before Janet could say anything Hannah had run out of the room leaving Janet just looking at the door. Moments later Ray comes into the room and says, "is that my bride I see running down the street? Janet what is going on?"

Janet stood there in shock not really knowing what to say.

Hours later Janet finally arrived home and was just sitting down on the couch when someone knocked at her door. She had just left Hannah and thought to herself, 'really? I just left like 5 minutes ago what could possibly have happened in that amount of time.'

She opened the door and there stood Eddie holding a six pack of beer bottles. Not at all the person that she was expecting to see standing on her door step in fact she really didn't think she would ever see him on her doorstep again.

"Hey" Eddie said

"Hey yourself" Janet said not knowing exactly what to say.

"Can I come in?" Eddie said still with an expressionless face.

"Oh, sure I'm sorry it has been quite a day." Janet said stepping aside.

"Yeah I heard. How is Hannah doing?" he asked not really caring

"She is ok, pretty much what you would think from someone who just ran away from their wedding day and fiance' but I am guessing that this isn't why you are here, is it?" she asked

"No, I guess it's not. I thought maybe if you were up to it we could have that talk. It's been 7 months I think it has been long enough." Eddie said.

"You want to have this conversation right now…at like 10 o'clock at night…well it wasn't exactly what I pictured happening but if now is the time than I guess now is the time…do you want me to take that and put it in the fridge?" she said motioning to the beer.

"Sure. Yeah I know that we said we would meet for a drink and I know its kind of late but I think this is kind of important…don't you?" he asked hoping that she agreed.

"Of course I think it is important Eddie I just kind of thought I would have time to prepare a little and maybe be a little less dressed up." She said chuckling looking down at her bridesmaid dress that she still had on.

"Why don't you go ahead and change and I'll get the drinks ready." Eddie said

With that Janet walked towards her bedroom and Eddie towards the fridge to get the beer that Janet had just put in there.

Janet was in her bathroom changing into her sweats and taking her hair out of all the bobby pins and tried to get as comfortable as possible as she knew that most of the conversation was going to be uncomfortable and awkward. She looked at her self in the mirror hoping beyond hope that there may still be a chance for them but she didn't think he would ever forgive her for what she did…she was having a hard time with that herself. There was still that part of her that thought maybe since he took it upon himself to reach out to her…

Janet walked into the living room and Eddie turned his head. The two of them just looked at each other for what seemed like hours but it was merely seconds. There was something there in both of their eyes that made everything somewhat fade away. Eddie reached out and handed Janet a beer and she sat down on the other end of the couch from where Eddie was sitting. She took a drink of her beer and set it down on the coffee table. Eddie did the same and the two of them sat in silence for a moment. Finally Eddie spoke.

"I don't know what happened to us Janet but these last 7 months have been literally the worst months of my life. I miss you…I miss seeing you at Sully's and I miss talking to you…I just don't understand how things could get so out of control but I want to listen to what you have to say instead of yelling at you like I did in the hospital…I am sorry for that, I was angry and I just couldn't believe that you would do something like that… I just…." He didn't know how to explain himself.

"I understand what you are saying Eddie, I do but I don't even know how I could have done something so incredibly stupid. I kept closing my eyes and hoping when I opened them I would see you there and that all the things that were in my head weren't there but that didn't happen. I was so drunk and heart broken I couldn't see straight and I guess in that moment I just wanted to feel…loved…I didn't want to be the girl in love with someone who wasn't in love with her…I wanted to be strong and fight for you but when I saw you with Rory I felt as though it was over already…you had made your choice…you spent all day avoiding talking to me and when you never mentioned Rory I guess my confidence just disappeared …I just couldn't face the fact that I was in love with you and you didn't feel the same way. He was there with the moonshine and when I asked him what he loved about me…he was giving me all these examples of things I did in friendship…it hurt so much because all of the things he said were things I had been waiting to hear from you and in that moment I wished it was you… It was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life and the one thing I will spend the rest of my life regretting…no only because I lost a friend who as it turns out wasn't really my friend but more importantly I lost you…the one man I was in love with and now I will never know where this relationship could have gone because of my stupidity and lack of confidence to just say what I felt at the time instead of..." She said much softer than when she started.

Eddie sat there a second and all the things that he and Owen had talked about came rushing back to him. Owen was dead on when he talked about how Janet felt and Eddie felt like a huge jack ass for not seeing this before. He was so caught up in his feelings that he never stopped to think about how she truly felt and how impacted she was by Rory's return and how Eddie had handled that. Perhaps this was his greatest regret…he should have been honest with Janet and Rory about his relationship with Janet…had he done that maybe all of what happened that night would have been entirely different. He looked over at Janet and was overcome by all these emotions. He realized in that moment that he wasn't angry anymore and that maybe this was their second chance at a true relationship that began with being honest about how they both felt. In that moment he did the one thing that Janet did not expect him to do, he suddenly leaned forward and slowly grabbed her head and began kissing her passionately. Eddie couldn't help himself, he missed Janet so much and he wanted to be close to her. He wanted the pain to go away and he wanted to feel the comfort that he always felt before in her presence. So much was going through his head and he knew that they would need to continue to talk and work on the things that they both made mistakes with he felt as though the worst was past and all he wanted was to be with the one person who he was certain now was his "meant to be."

They briefly part and Janet was surprised to say the least. She did not expect Eddie to kiss her…let alone so passionately. They locked eyes with each other and Janet spoke softly…"Eddie…I…" she couldn't really get what she wanted to say out…mostly because she didn't know exactly what she wanted to say she was in shock.

"Janet, I think we both know that we have made mistakes here and I don't like the fact that you slept with Rooster but I know that you would not have done that to me or us or our relationship unless you felt that we were over and that is my fault. We didn't tell each other how we truly felt so we both are at fault here…it was easy for me to make you the bad guy because you cheated on me but really I cheated too…I never should have kissed Rory and I shouldn't have distanced myself from you that day when she came back…but Janet I have to know that you are in this relationship with everything you have that this is truly what you want because if it isn't then there is no point…." Eddie was saying when Janet suddenly interrupted…

"Eddie, I love you…more than I can possibly say and I have been in love with you for a long time…I was afraid of getting hurt and being rejected by you but I'm not afraid anymore Eddie. I have learned that I need to be strong for myself and I know that we have more talking to do and we need to strengthen our relationship from the mistakes of the past but I am completely committed to do that if that is what you want to…but I need to know how you feel about me." Janet said looking directly into Eddie's eyes.

Eddie smiled a bit knowing exactly what she was asking, "Janet, I love you too and I think I have for a long time…maybe even before we actually went out. You have been the one person who I knew I could go to when I needed someone and even though we weren't 'dating' or whatever I knew deep down you were the one but I was so hung up on things that shouldn't have mattered but that is all over now…from now on I am living my life for me and what makes me happy and Janet you are what makes me happy. These last 7 months have been the worst of my life…more so than when Rory left me after high school which tells me that I didn't really love her the way I thought I did. All these years I have been looking for something and at the same time trying to avoid the one thing that I think I really wanted…you have been right in front of me the entire time and I was too stupid and blind to see it. No one knows me better than you do and there is no one that can make me feel better and apparently worse than you can when you aren't with me…I guess what I am trying to say here Janet is that I am in love with you and I want you in my life…forever Janet…I know that we need to work on things but I know that you are the one for me so….I guess…(he hesitated for a minute contemplating 'should I just do this now') Janet will you marry me?" He said somewhat surprised by his own words. He hadn't expected to say most of that but it came from his heart and he thought 'this is what we have been talking about right…being together…I know she is the one…why wait'.

Janet sat there with her mouth completely open…she did not see this coming at all. She was frozen in time and could not get her body to do anything. She wanted to yell and scream and jump up and down but literally couldn't move. Tears began to fall from her eyes immediately and for at least a few moments it was the only reaction her body would allow.

Eddie was paralyzed not knowing what her silence meant…he saw the tears began to fall and couldn't figure out if that was a good sign or not…suddenly he felt her hands on his face…

"I love you Eddie Latekka…yes I will marry you…right now if you want." She said smiling and about to lean in for a kiss.

"Good because you were starting to really freak me out….I hadn't planned this when I came here tonight but the more we talked the more I realized that you truly are the one for me and I don't want to be apart again but I'm not prepared I don't have a ring or anything but I want you to know that I love you Janet and I know that this may not have been the conversation that you expected to have tonight but right now I don't think I have ever been happier." Eddie said just before he closed the distance between them and another kiss began just as passionately as the one before but this time between the two of them was so much emotion and relief that their pain was over and that no matter what they had to face in the future they would have each other to get through it.

No more words were spoken between the two for the rest of the night. Eddie pulled away from Janet and stood. He held out his hand and she stood knowing exactly what he had on his mind. The two of them walked to her bedroom and spent the rest of the evening enjoying each other again in the way that took them so long to get to the first time they started dating. However, this night held so much more than either of them could have expected. The words that had been spoken between them earlier just added to their passion and each of them took there time in regaining that part of their relationship. It wasn't until the sun began to rise that they each finally fell asleep not really wanting the night to end.

Janet began to stir hours later and had the biggest smile on her face. She had no idea that Eddie was planning on coming over last night so the whole night was a surprise including Hannah calling off her wedding at the last minute. She felt as though she was in a dream but when she reached over in her bed she found….nothing. She opened her eyes and there was no Eddie. There were no clothes and no signs that any of what she thought happened had actually happened. She sat up in bed and even had her own T-shirt on…she was so confused. Did she dream all of it? She looked out of her window and didn't see Eddie's truck anywhere…she thought to herself…I must have been dreaming all of this…Eddie and I aren't back together let alone engaged…'wow what a dream though'. She thought. She was both disappointed and sad by the fact that none of what she thought had happened had happened. Tears began to roll down her cheeks in realization of how much she wanted her dream to be true. She knew that she loved Eddie and hoped that he was open to another chance but was she stupid enough to believe it was that simple…sometimes loving someone is just not enough.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

Janet decided to get up and start her day. She had to work later on at her dispatcher job and then had school on Monday. She knew she would have a hard time focusing on anything because her mind kept going back to her dream last night. It felt so real to her but she knew one thing for certain and that was that she would eventually have that conversation with Eddie and maybe just maybe one day that dream would come true…it was something to hope for because hearing the words from him that she dreamt about truly felt so amazing.

Eddie was at home and his mind kept going back to the night's events…did he really do what he thought he did? Eddie woke that morning absolutely freaked out. He actually asked Janet to marry him? What was he thinking? They hadn't even had the chance to really get back together and they still had things to work through but yet in that moment he felt so sure that he was doing what he really wanted to do. He couldn't get to sleep after Janet had drifted off so he got up and decided he needed to do some pretty major things today. She looked peaceful that he didn't want to wake her so he decided to leave and get the things he needed to do done. First thing on his list was to find her the perfect engagement ring. He proposed to her and although it wasn't planned he needed to do it right and without a ring it wouldn't seem real especially to her. He was thinking in that moment what she must be thinking right now. Is she happy? He thought that she would call him when she woke up so he let her sleep. She did mention something about her schedule so he wasn't sure if she had to work today or not. She had this new job and he was still kind of getting used to the fact that he wouldn't see her at Sully's anymore but how would it work out with her working so far away. He had so much to think about that her job was the least of his concerns. He decided he needed some help so he called the one person he relied upon for help when Janet was concerned, Owen.

"Hey Big O, what goes on with you today?" Eddie said trying not to give away his excitement

"Not much buddy, you sound different what goes on with you?" Owen said sensing something was up.

"I need your help with something today, you got some time?" he said ignoring Owen's question

"Yeah, what are we going to do?" Owen is very curious now.

"I'll tell ya when I pick you up." Eddie said smiling

Janet ate breakfast, got into the shower and hung up her bridesmaid dress that was in the bathroom. She looked at the dress as if it held the memory of last night. She couldn't believe how real that dream felt to her. But Eddie never would have left her that quickly after something like that and he would have left a note or something to let her know and since none of things were there she knew it was all in her mind.

She got ready for work and decided to call Hannah and check in on her.

"Hey how are you doing today?" Janet said to Hannah

"Actually pretty good…I'm sorry for putting you in that position yesterday but as I was looking in that mirror I knew I was making a mistake…I just had to go." She said hoping her friend wasn't too upset

"Don't worry about it Hannah. I told you I would support you either way…but having to tell all those people wasn't my favorite experience in the world." She said chuckling

"Yeah I can imagine, so do you have to work today?" Hannah said wanting to not talk about weddings.

"Yeah I am leaving soon. I had the most amazing dream last night…it is almost embarrassing to say out loud but it involved Eddie. I think when we do finally have that talk it is going to be hard for me not to think of it." Janet said somewhat laughing

"ohhh, any juicy parts you would like to share? I love those kind of dreams. I know that you don't believe this Janet but I think you and Eddie belong together and I know I haven't always been supportive of this relationship but I have to say that Eddie has been miserable since the two of you broke up and I think when he showed up at your job it was his way of saying that he is open to another chance at your relationship." Hannah said feeling confident that this was the truth.

"I sure hope your right Hannah, I really do." Janet said truthfully.

"Well I am off to work so we'll talk later k." Janet said hanging up

"Ok give me a call later." Hannah said.

Eddie picked up Owen and they headed off towards Boston. "Where are we going anyway?" Owen asked.

"We need to pick out a ring…I asked Janet to marry me last night." Eddie said not looking at Owen.

"YOU WHAT?" Owen did not see that coming at all.

"I went over there last night to have 'our talk' and as we were talking I realized that what you had said was absolutely right. We both have been trying so hard to protect ourselves from our own stuff that we destroyed our relationship because we didn't tell each other how we really felt…she loves me and has felt that way for some time and I realized that I have been in love with her for probably longer than we have been together…I don't know the words just came out and I meant them….she is the one Owen I know it and I know we have stuff we have to work on but I know that there is no one else I want to be with so I guess I just asked but I didn't have a ring and no fiance' of mine is going to go with out a ring so you are going to help me pick one out. You have known Janet a long time too and you certainly were dead on in how she felt about things so you would be the perfect person to help pick out the perfect ring." Eddie said now looking at Owen.

"I am speechless…what did Janet say? She had to be completely speechless?" Owen said.

"She was…she didn't say anything for a while and then she started to cry…I wasn't sure if that was good or bad but then she said yes…I don't know how to explain it Owen…I don't think I have ever been so happy…I just have to make it official." Eddie said smiling

"Where is she now? How did you get away without her wondering where you were going? When Allison and I got engaged we spent days together making phone calls and well you know." Owen said smiling nudging Eddie with his elbow.

"I couldn't sleep when we finally got the chance to go to sleep and I didn't want to wake her so after she fell asleep I left and got things together and called you. I am sure she is still sleeping, we were awake most of the night…." Eddie said smiling looking at Owen in that 'if you know what I mean' kind of way.

"What if she wakes up Eddie? You better call her." Owen said now concerned that Janet may be freaking out.

"I am going to see her after we get the ring and re propose this time with the ring…it will be all ok, trust me." Eddie said so sure of himself.

"Ok, if you say so." Owen said having a sense that it may not be so ok.

Janet arrived at work and got situated in her station. After a while, Janet realized it was going to be a slow night so all she could think about was that dream. She was sure now that it must have been a dream because Eddie had made no attempts at calling her or texting or leaving a note or anything. Her heart ached as if she had been let down so significantly. She couldn't understand how a dream could affect her in such a way. As time went on she was watching the clock tick away and suddenly she got a call.

"Hello this is Janet, what is your emergency?" she said almost robotically

"I can't seem to find my fiance', would you happen to know where she is?" Eddie said actually sitting out in the parking lot but not giving that part away.

"I'm sorry what did you say sir?" Janet asked not sure what this call was about.

"I went to my fiances' house and she was not there…it turns out she had to work so I decided to come to her instead…" Eddie said now getting out of his truck and walking towards the door.

"Who is this?" Janet thought she was talking some drunken crazy person

"Maybe you should go out front and see for yourself." Eddie said standing by the door (the doors lock after a certain time so she would have to let him in) and then he hung up.

Janet sat there for a second trying to figure out what that phone call was all about. She was a little concerned about going to the front door since she was there by herself at the time. The next dispatcher wouldn't be there for another few hours. But her curiousity got the best of her so she decided to go up front and see who was at the door.

Janet walked up to the counter and looked through the door. She saw Eddie standing there by the door and she was even more confused. She opened the door and Eddie stepped in and grabbed Janet and gave her the biggest kiss she had had in a while. She stood there somewhat limp as her mind was still trying to catch up.

Eddie sensed her hesitancy and stepped back and looked at her…"You didn't change your mind did you?" He started to get nervous by the look on her face.

Janet looked at Eddie and she was so confused, 'changed my mind about what' she thought.

Eddie finally spoke, "Janet you are really scaring me…"

Janet looked at Eddie and said, "I don't understand what you are talking about Eddie, what did I change my mind about?" she had absolutely no clue.

"Are you ok, Janet? I asked you to marry me last night and you said yes, don't you remember?" Eddie said completely shocked.

Janet froze in that moment and realized that she hadn't dreamed what happened last night that Eddie had in fact come over and they did spend the night together and he asked her to marry him and she said Yes and 'wait why did he leave then this morning' she thought.

"Why did you leave this morning Eddie? When I woke up you weren't there and I guess I thought I had dreamt what happened…I was alone and I didn't think any of it was real…" she said looking down.

Eddie smiled and realized why she was so confused and he said, "because I couldn't have my fiance' walking around town without having something to show everyone that she was my girl, now could I"

Just then Eddie dropped to one knee and took out a box big enough to contain a ring and asked, "Janet, will you marry me?" he asked as he opened the box to reveal the most beautiful ring she had ever seen.

Her tears came so quickly and the night's events came crashing back to her and she remembered with such clarity the first proposal and what followed. She looked at Eddie and said, "Yes Eddie absolutely I'll marry you as many times as you ask me the answer will always be yes."

Eddie stood at that time and took the ring from the box and placed it on her finger. It looked spectacular on her finger. It was a white gold band with three round diamonds in the center…the center stone being the biggest and the two next to it a little smaller…it was simple but beautiful just how he felt about Janet.

They looked at each other and kissed passionately once again. They pulled away from each other briefly and Janet spoke first, "I thought I had dreamt all of it because you weren't there when I woke up and there was no note or anything…you have no idea how sad I was thinking that it was all in my head." Janet asked feeling a little hurt.

Eddie looked at her and once again was reminded of something that Owen said on their way to Boston. He really needed to listen to his friend more because he never thought that Janet would be upset by his absence in the morning but the more he thought about it after what she just said he realized, 'that was just stupid to leave her this morning…what were you thinking?'

Eddie finally spoke, "I'm sorry Janet, I was so excited I couldn't get to sleep and I hadn't really planned on proposing to you last night so I wasn't prepared with anything but I wanted you to have a ring to make it official and let you know how serious I am about this relationship and you. I want everyone to know that you are mine…no more wondering or speculation everyone should be able to see how much I love you and had better stay away from you" he said somewhat teasing.

Janet laughed a little and said jokingly, "well they should stay away otherwise I'll blind them with this bling."

"So you like the ring?" Eddie said feeling pretty proud of himself.

"I love the ring Eddie but you didn't need to get me a ring to show me your serious all I have ever needed was you. I hate to do this but I really need to get back to work…I was hoping that you would be available though after I'm done here…I have some ideas about how to thank you for my beautiful ring…but if your busy I understand…" She said jokingly knowing that her statement would get his attention.

"I think I can rearrange my schedule to make that happen." Eddie said once again smiling and beginning to put his arms around her

"Do you want me to swing by your house or will you be at mine?" Janet said smiling

"Why don't I just head on over to your place and I'll wait for you there." He said

"Sounds good…don't get started without me." Janet said returning Eddie's hug

"I can't promise you anything…other than to spend the rest of my life being there when you get home." Eddie said beginning to walk towards the door.

"Nothing has ever sounded better to me…I love you Eddie. Thank you for making me the happiest woman in the Ridge." Janet said.

Eddie whispered, "But we aren't in the Ridge."

Janet laughed…"get out of here…I'll see you in a few hours."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

Janet was on her way home. She was thinking about how her day turned out. She was now actually engaged to Eddie and hadn't dreamt it all. She had a gorgeous ring on her finger that reminded her of the reality of her life now. If someone would have told her that this would be her situation a month ago she just wouldn't have believed it. She was so looking forward to getting home and seeing Eddie again. It all seemed so unreal since most of what she was experiencing just happened the night before. She had school in the morning but it didn't seem to phase her at all at this point but then she thought, "I never told Eddie about that. He doesn't even know that I am back in school. I wonder what he would think of that. Hopefully he is ok with it." She didn't think Eddie would care that she was attending the Duf but what if he did? He did make fun of it at times especially when Nick came back to town and he was working there. She just couldn't think of any of that now as she pulled into her driveway. She was very happy when she saw Eddie's truck parked there.

Janet walked into the front door and all the lights were off. She thought, "well that's weird why are all the lights off…don't tell me he went to bed already?" She looked around and there were no signs of life. She thought, 'well maybe he was just tired or something and went to bed, so not how I pictured tonight!'

Janet turned slightly to close and lock the front door when she felt hands encasing her waist and then she felt someone standing directly behind her. She smiled because she knew that Eddie wasn't asleep after all.

"Welcome home, did ya miss me?" Eddie said into her ear nuzzling himself very close to her

"I did…" Janet said starting to turn around slowly in his arms. Soon they were face to face. There was a little bit of light coming from a candle that Eddie had carried in and set on the table so he could see where he was going but suddenly he thought that no light was needed he could feel his way from this point.

"Hey" Janet said smiling brightly

"Hey yourself" Eddie said smiling equally as big

Eddie couldn't wait any longer. He leaned down and kissed Janet soundly. They kissed for several minutes until both were nearly breathless.

Janet was the first to speak. "That was quite a homecoming." She smiled

"You haven't seen nothing yet, follow me" Eddie said turning slightly and grabbing Janet's hand beginning to pull her towards her bedroom.

Janet followed behind Eddie who was still hanging onto her hands behind his back. When they made it to her bedroom it was covered in candlelight and the bed had been cleared of all the throw pillows that typically cover the top and replaced by just a few dozen rose petals scattered around the bed and floor.

Janet just stood there not knowing what to say. This wasn't a typical Eddie move but she thought it was just so amazing. She couldn't help herself, she moved around him and stood on her toes a bit and grabbed his head bringing it to her lips. Eddie instinctively placed his hands around her back and wrapped her tightly in a hug. They spent another several minutes kissing but this time they moved together and laid on the bed in amongst all the petals. They didn't stop kissing either. They spent this time reconnecting on another level than the night before. They had missed each other so much the night before that when they were finally together after all this time it was fast and satisfying but tonight was about them being together and in love and engaged and for that they needed to touch and to feel each other.

Several hours later, Janet and Eddie lay side by side facing each other with very big smiles on their faces. They felt so close and happy to have each other back in their lives with the promise that they would marry each other at some point in the future. The future was what was on Janet's mind at that point. She knew that she needed to talk to Eddie about their future and her future of going back to school. When she decided to go back to school she didn't think she would ever have a relationship with Eddie so this was her way of looking towards the future but now everything had changed so quickly and dramatically that he was wondering how she would balance school and plan a wedding and future with Eddie. She somehow had to figure how to do it all.

Janet was the first to speak. "Hey I have something that I need to talk to you about…" she said reaching over and touching his face.

"Am I going to like this?" Eddie said with some concern due to Janet's facial expression and tone of voice.

"I hope so because it is important to me." Janet said.

"Ok…" Eddie said hesitantly

"Before I tell you I need for you to understand some things…After we broke up I realized a few things about my self, Eddie, and I wasn't happy with what I saw. I think somewhere along the way I lost a part of myself when you and I started dated and I have been trying to get back to where I was before we even started talking really. I need to find that strength again." She said somewhat looking down

Eddie was trying to figure out where this was going and he didn't really like it to be honest. What was she trying to say? He thought.

Janet looked at him and said, "You said that you couldn't understand why I didn't come up to you and yell or scream or whatever when I saw you and Rory kissing and that is exactly what I am talking about. I had always said that working at Sully's would be temporary but I got too comfortable and I think when you and I started dating I put my plans for the future somewhere in the background because I was so happy just being with you. But some where along the way I started to let others get into my head and I began to doubt my self and eventually maybe you a little too. I was so happy but there was that voice in my head that reminded me that this was just too good to be true and that one day you would realize that I was not who you wanted to be with. I pushed a lot of the negative things out of my head for the most part until that day that Rory came back. When you didn't tell me she was there when I called, that voice got just a little louder and then when you came for lunch and didn't mention she had been in to the shop when I knew she had been because she stopped into the bar to tell me about it the voice got really loud. I finally couldn't take it any longer and I went to talk to you about it but then you were kissing her and I lost it. I should have been mad as hell and stopped my jeep right then and there but I didn't. I think why I didn't pull over and yell and scream at the both of you was because there was a big part of me that thought 'see this is what would have happened eventually because you two were just not meant to be'. I know that this may sound stupid to you but I realized that I had lost my confidence, my strength and my commitment to my self and what I had planned on doing long before you came a long and got very complacent with my life and when we were together it got worse because I was spending all my time trying to convince myself that you and I belonged with each other – even though at times we seemed so different and wanted different things – like going to visit my grandparents…that was the day that I really thought you and I were not really serious and that you were just in the relationship for something to do until something better came along. "

With that comment Eddie closed his eyes as if someone had just punched him in the stomach. It hurt to hear her version of thought.

Janet continued knowing she needed to say these things, "I really hoped after the whole barbeque incident happened that you were serious about being with me and I felt like you were and then when you got so irritated with the trip to visit my grandparents I guess there was a part of me that really didn't want to be too invested in the relationship but then you came with the tickets to see bye bye birdie and I felt so hopeful and I was so over the moon happy that the thoughts were just stuffed in the back of my head along with everything else that I had thought I would always do. I probably would have continued on with no problems but then Rory came back and everything changed in an instant. The doubt I felt that day just grew as the time went on that when I did see the two of you on your front porch in my head our relationship was over and you had chosen the person that I always thought you would of ended up with anyway. The decisions I made after that moment were purely ones coming from being hurt, angry and sad. I let my self down because I let Rooster's comments finally get into my head and my heart and I felt foolish and alone and now I was sure I was in love with you and I felt in that moment that you didn't feel that way about me. After our horrible blow up at the hospital and I walked out of your room after hearing you scream at me to "GET OUT" I needed to go somewhere and try and figure out my life. I had to go to Hannah's party but afterwards I was so heart broken that I needed something to focus on and I guess the one thing that I had always told myself that I would do was the first thing that came to mind. I couldn't go back to living my life the way I had and I couldn't go back to Sully's because that was your bar…the thought of seeing you even briefly with someone else brought tears to my eyes immediately. So I started looking for a job outside of Knights Ridge and I applied to go college, I applied at the Duf."

Eddie was looking at Janet intently listening to her words feeling more horrible than he had ever in the past. Hearing her words we're like knives to him. He suddenly grabbed her hand that had the beautiful ring placed upon it and laced his fingers with hers.

Janet smiled briefly and continued, "I probably should have told you all of this when we spoke the other night but I wasn't expecting a marriage proposal and it didn't seem like the right time to tell you after you asked me to marry you so I am telling you now that I am attending The Duf as a freshman and have been for weeks now. In fact the night you saw me at Sully's was the day I took my exam to get into the Duf. I am studying to be a teacher I think and I am hoping that you are going to be ok with all of this."

Eddie listened to all she had said and then finally spoke, "I had no idea that you felt all of that and I really wished that you would have said something to me about all of it sooner but Janet we can't change the past or what either of us has done to each other with our insecurities or unsure feelings about our relationship but I have to say Janet that I am so proud of you. I think that it is great that you decided to go back to school and I personally think that you would make a great teacher. I don't know if I agree that you weren't strong or confident in our relationship because I remember a rather spirited discussion about taxes or something at Sully's homecoming weekend and then you practically throwing me out of the bar because I didn't want to go to your grandparents house but I do think that the day that Rory came back we both had issues from the past that needed to be worked out we just didn't get the chance to talk to one another about what we both discovered because if we had I would have been able to tell you that I was in love with you and 100% certain that you were my 'meant to be' – that was in fact what I was going to tell you that night but I stopped at the office first and well you know the rest. Eddie said with a slight grimace.

Janet looked directly at him now and realized that she had it all wrong in their relationship and she did let herself get way off track but now in more ways than she had thought originally.

"Eddie I am so sorry about everything that went wrong. But I am here to tell you that I am 100% committed to you and our life together and I no longer have any doubts as to how you feel or what you need because I know that I can be everything you need me to be. But I still need to finish what I started and that is to get my degree and hopefully get a job teaching somewhere near here so we can have the life that we both deserve. You have your childhood dream of Best Friend Windows with Nick and now I am working on my dream of teaching. It is just going to be crazy at times with work being so far away and with hours of homework and school we won't be able to spend the time together that we once did and that is what is worrying me." She said looking into his eyes hoping for a sign of support.

"Janet, I completely understand what you are saying so whatever you need from me you have it…I am not crazy about the idea of not seeing each other often especially right now because I feel like we have been apart for so long all I want to do is have you near me but I understand that you need to do this for yourself so I will be here waiting for you." Eddie said leanly forward with the intention of kissing his fiance'.

Janet smiled and mouthed 'thank you' before closing the distance between the two for a very passionate kiss between the soon to be husband and wife.

Eddie leaned back after a few minutes of enjoying kissing his fiance', "I do think that we should talk a little bit about where we are planning to live…if you are going to be that busy at least if we lived together we would see each other the most we could…how do you feel about that?" Eddie asked

Janet looked at him and thought for a moment, "I guess I hadn't really thought about that but it does make sense and nothing would make me happier than to come home to you in our bed." She winked.

"I like the sound of that…our bed…and I like that wink too." Eddie said laughing

"Me too…now about that wink…" Janet said leaning forward herself this time with the intention of doing a little bit more than kissing. Eddie figured pretty quickly that the discussion about the living arrangements would have to wait because he was much more interested in what his fiance' had in mind.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

Janet made it to her first class but she was really tired. She didn't have the heart to say no to Eddie last night and after the talk that they had she didn't really want to. She felt so close to Eddie, so much more so then she ever had in the past. She thought how different things seemed to be than weeks past. She had Eddie back in her life and they were engaged. She was very happy but she didn't want to lose sight of what she started with going back to school. She did this for herself so she could have a better life and she was going to do everything in her power to make sure she could manage it all.

Janet sat through her class but her mind kept drifting off wondering how they would decide where to live. She knew that Eddie probably wouldn't be very supportive of living at her house especially since that is where she cheated on him with Rooster, but that house was her grandparents home before they went into the nursing home and she wasn't about to give it up easily. What would she do if he didn't want to live there? There had to be something she could do to convince him to stay there. Suddenly she had a thought and she knew exactly what to do to ensure that her house would be his choice.

Janet made it through all of her classes and luckily she didn't have to work tonight. She was very much looking forward to going to bed early and sleeping since she hasn't really been sleeping the greatest lately. She had made plans with Eddie to have a later dinner so she thought she would just take a little nap before it was time to meet Eddie.

Eddie was at Best Friend Windows and he was somewhat zoning in and out sitting at his desk. Nick was talking about some upcoming jobs and their schedule and whether or not to hire some more workers due to the volume of jobs they had booked in the next three months. Nick looked over at Eddie and could tell immediately that he wasn't listening at all to what he was saying.

"EDDIE!" Nick shouted

It took a second before it registered that Nick was trying to get Eddie's attention.

"What? Geez Nicky." Eddie said somewhat annoyed

"Where are you because you certainly aren't listening to me Eddie." Nick said just as annoyed

"I was listening but I got stuff on my mind…" Eddie said somewhat drifting off again

"Care to share" Nick says sarcastically

"I need to figure out where Janet and I are going to live" Eddie said distractedly

"You and Janet…what are you talking about?" Nick said very confused

Eddie looked at Nick and realized that most everyone didn't know that they were back together let alone engaged. He had told Owen and hadn't really had the time to tell anyone else. He thought 'well now is a good a time as any.'

"Janet and I got back together and I asked her to marry me so we are moving in together we just didn't figure out where." He said matter of factly.

"YOU WHAT? When did this all happen?" Nick was completely in shock

"It happened a few days ago I guess, after Hannah's would be wedding…I went over there to talk and just realized that I wanted to be with Janet. I guess I didn't see the point of waiting and dating her longer when I already knew." Eddie said smiling shyly

Nick looked over at his friend in somewhat of a dazed fashion. He liked Janet, always had but Eddie was so stubborn that he didn't think Eddie would ever get over the infidelity. He never told Eddie but Eddie told Nick all about what happened when he was in the hospital under the influence of some pretty heavy duty pain medication. Eddie normally kept that information in the vault but he was obviously hurt by what happened and talked to Nick in a vulnerable moment. Nick never mentioned it because he didn't see the point of rehashing the conversation but now it was just remarkable that Eddie was able to get past that hurt to forgive her. Nick knew Janet wasn't a mean person and would never have intentionally cheated on Eddie to hurt him. He always figured it was a drunken mistake because she was so upset over Rory's reappearance in Eddie's life. Nick understood that they all made mistakes in their lives, his being that he ran out on all of his friends because he couldn't handle his mother's death and wrote that book. There was a part of him that knew it would hurt his friends when he wrote it but there was another part that understood it was his chance at his dream and he was going to take it just as he had to move to New York City instead of returning to the Ridge. But then it really took off and then there was the movie. It was like a train completely out of control. He never dreamed he would ever return to the Ridge let alone move there permanently but now he was in business with his childhood best friend and he was happy.

Eddie looked at Nick who now looked like he was lost in thought. His silence was making Eddie wonder if he thought it was a mistake to marry Janet.

"Hey why are you so quiet all of the sudden?" Eddie asked

Nick sort of snapped out of his thought and looked at Eddie. "I think that is great buddy. I couldn't be happier for you both. I always had a feeling that Janet was the one for you. She doesn't take any of your crap, it's one of her best qualities I think." He said laughing and throwing a piece of crumpled up paper at Eddie's head.

"Very Funny, Nicholson." Eddie said

"But seriously Eddie, I am happy for you. I know that you haven't been happy since you two broke up so I am really glad you were able to work it all out. So why do you have to decide now where your going to live? You didn't elope did you?'' Nick asked

"No we didn't elope although that would be fine with me but she went back to school while we were broken up so she is going to be busy between school and her job in Grand Springs it's the only way I'll be able to see her." Eddie said.

"She is going back to school, you mean at the Duf?" Nick asked

"Yeah, I guess she took the entrance exam and passed and applied and they accepted her for the fall semester in the education program. She said she always wanted to be a teacher so that is what she is going to do. She said she got the job in Grand springs because it worked better with her school schedule but it is like a 50 minute drive on a good day." Eddie said not sounding as happy about it.

"So you don't like the fact that she is back in school I take it?" Nick said catching onto his tone

"It's not that I'm not happy about it, I think it is great that she wants to get her degree and all, I mean eventually it will be nice her having a 9 – 5 job when we have kids and stuff but the timing right now isn't the best when we just got back together and all. I know that there are things we still need to work on." Eddie said once again his tone changing.

"What goes on Eddie? It seems like there is something else with you." Nick said looking intently at him now

"I don't know Nicky, I love her I really do and I know that she is the one for me but it still kills me what she did. I am trying to get past it but I don't know its complicated." He said clearly not wanting to say it.

"Eddie I have a little confession to make. After the two of you broke up in the hospital that day they gave you some pretty strong pain medications and you told me pretty much the whole story including Rooster so you can just tell me what is going on." Nick said wondering if Eddie was going to be mad.

Eddie looked at Nicky and just shook his head, "figures they would give me truth pills in your presence, well now you know so that is the part that I just can't get past and the worst part is that I know she is going to want to live at her house because it was her grandparents house – it is more than a house you know." Eddie said

"Yeah I get what your saying but what is it about the house that bothers you so much?" Nick asked

"Because that is where it happened, in her bedroom. That was our place and now it has him on it somehow. I know she said that it wasn't about him at all and that she was upset over me but still how do you get that out of your head?" Eddie asked Nick

"Have you guys spent any time in her house since you got back together?" Nick was asking if they had sex knowing Eddie wouldn't answer it directly.

"Yeah we have but that is not the same as LIVING there Nicky." Eddie said

"True but think about it Eddie. You know that Janet would never intentionally cheat on you and I think you know that otherwise you wouldn't have asked her to marry you and secondly, if he meant anything to her than he would still be in her life and he clearly isn't, I mean come on Eddie she got a job an hour away from the Ridge so she wouldn't be around him or Sully's because you know as well as I do that Sully would have given her any hours she wanted if she would have asked…he would do anything for her." Nick said trying to get Eddie to see.

"Another thing Eddie to consider, did you ever take her to your house and she slept there?" Nick asked

"Well of course I did what does that have to do with anything?" Eddie asked confused

"Eddie how many women did you bring home in that very bed and never had contact with again. Janet got past all of that didn't she? It's not about the bed or the place it's about the people Eddie and regardless of where you two end up living it isn't going to be about the mistakes you both have made or the people that you have slept with the only thing that matters is how you feel about each other…as long as you understand that you two can live anywhere including the house that she slept with Rooster in." Nick said pretty proud of himself

Eddie thought about it for a second and it did make sense but the difference in his mind was the infidelity not the place that it took place. But Nick was right about one thing, she didn't have contact with Rooster any longer and did go out of her way to get away from all of it so he had to believe it was just a stupid and meaningless mistake. At some point he would need to make peace with it even though he thought he had but he knew deep down he was closer than he thought to putting it all behind him but it still didn't give him any more insight to where they would live. How do you choose? He thought.

"I get what your saying Nicky and you're right she means more to me than either of the houses or what mistakes we've made but I want to figure it out soon because otherwise it may be a while before we see each other again." Eddie said chuckling a bit.

"You'll figure it all out and just for the record you said that it will be great once you have kids…that is so freaky hearing you talk about having kids…you have never said that before with anyone you were with so I know that Janet is the one." Nick said also chuckling like he just caught Eddie.

"That is how I knew she was the one because I began to think of kids and she was always the one I pictured them with. She was the one holding them or chasing them around but seriously when we were apart that was the most unhappy I have ever been and now I am even happier than I was before. I guess it is time that even I grow up a little, huh?" Eddie said smiling

"I am really happy for you Eddie. Just give it some time I am sure you both will come up with the right place." Nick said and then got back to what he was doing which was going over the schedule AGAIN.

Eddie rolled his eyes and got back to work this time listening to Nick.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

Janet got home and crawled right into her bed. She was exhausted and thought "I have plenty of time for a nap." As soon as her head hit the pillow she was out.

Eddie stayed at work a little later than he thought and when he arrived over at Janet's there were no lights on even though it was after 7:30pm. He began to get concerned that she wasn't there at all.

Eddie walked up to the door and knocked but got no answer. He tried the door and it was open so he went inside and it was very dark. He found the kitchen light and started to yell, "Janet are you home?"

Janet was deep in sleep however she began dreaming that someone was calling her name. As she began to wake up a little she realized she wasn't dreaming that she had slept longer than she had planned to and it was Eddie calling her name.

"Janet, are you home?" Eddie yelled again walking now into the living room heading for the bedroom and there he found Janet slowly sitting up in bed and wiping her eyes, her hair looking all messy from sleeping. If he had to be honest with himself he liked her hair when it looked like that.

"Hey sleepy head, I take it you took a nap when you got home today?" Eddie said sweetly as he walked in to her bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Hey, I was only going to sleep for a few hours and then get up and make dinner for us. Shoot now it will be a while before we eat and I have homework that needs to get done. I was hoping to get that done before you got here." Janet said realizing that this is how it is going to be now.

"Don't worry about it Janet you obviously needed the sleep I have been keeping you up later and later these past couple of nights." Eddie said winking at her.

"We can just order something out and you can work on your homework while we are waiting for the food to get here. I need a shower anyway." Eddie said trying to make her feel better about oversleeping.

"You are pretty awesome you know that right?" Janet said smiling leaning in to kiss her fiance'

"I know." Eddie said smiling and responding to her kiss

They spent the next 20 minutes just kissing and playing around a little in the bed before both of their stomachs growled really loud and they both laughed.

"Ok, let me go order something and you get in the shower and cool off mister." Janet said trying to make a move.

"In a second." Eddie said kissing his fiance' one more time before making an effort to leave the bed and shower even though he really didn't want to.

Hours later they had finished eating, Eddie was showered and Janet managed to get her homework nearly done for the next day. She knew she needed to make school a priority but it was becoming increasingly more difficult now that Eddie was back in her life. She was able to read her chapters while he watched ESPN sports after they finished eating. Now they were back in bed and cuddled up together. It was time to sort out the living situation.

"So, how do we go about moving in together Eddie? I have never done anything like this before so I guess I am sure how this all works." Janet said being honest

"I have only lived with Phil so I am not sure either but the main thing is we need to pick a place. We both have a house to deal with but we need to figure out what is more practical. Living at my house would include Phil and pizza girl, at least part of the time but I can't make him leave being a shut in and all." Eddie said.

"I am guessing that living here is not a very good option either for you but I am not sure what to do about that. Eddie this was my grandparent's home so it is more than a house to me." Janet said quietly.

They both layed there silent for a while and then Janet spoke.

"What do you think about this? It might seem difficult at first but why don't we try to live at each others houses for one week and see which one would work the best for us with all factors considered." Janet said happily

"That actually sounds like a good idea Janet. Then at the end of the two weeks we can sit down and figure out what place had the most benefits and that would be the house we pick…perfect." Eddie said smiling

"Great. So whose house do we start with?" Janet asked.

"How about your's? We are here now so we'll just continue this for the rest of the week and then after the weekend we can stay at my house with Phil and see how that goes and make our decision after that, sound good?" Eddie asked.

"Sounds great. Would you be too upset if we went to sleep tonight? It's not that I don't love being with you but I am still so tired and this is going to be a busy week for me?" Janet said hoping he wasn't going to be mad.

"Janet I don't expect that we make love every night. I have missed you so I know that we have much catching up to do but it doesn't have to be everyday. I love you Janet and I love making love to you but don't ever feel like you have to do anything. I know that we have a lot going on right now. I just want to be close to you like we are now, that is all I was saying." Eddie said genuinely.

Janet smiled and kissed Eddie. It wasn't a short or long kiss just a "I'm happy to be with you" kiss. Within minutes both of them were asleep.

The week passed and everything went pretty smoothly. Eddie had some of things over at Janet's now so he was pretty comfortable there. He was surprised actually because he completely forgot the whole concern he had over Rooster and Janet sleeping together there. It seemed very nature to be there but maybe even more so for them to be together on a daily basis. It felt right to Eddie so he knew Nick was right that wherever they ended up it didn't matter because all he really needed and wanted was her.

The new week started and Janet packed a few things that she knew she would need. She wasn't really looking forward to sleeping at Eddie's because he had a twin bed and then there was Phil who was there ALL of the time. But she told Eddie she would give it her best shot.

Eddie became quickly annoyed by Phil's presence when it came to Janet being there. They didn't really have any privacy at all and once Pizza girl was there they were always trying to talk with them and Eddie really didn't get to spend the amount of time with Janet that he wanted. Their sex life also took a hit because of Phil always being there and Eddie's room situation it wasn't very conducive to a couple living there. Janet liked the size of the house and the space that it provided and it had an awesome back yard. The house had potential but it also had Phil and Janet wasn't about to be the one that displaced Eddie's friend.

Eddie was thinking at work one day how to resolve the living situation. He loved being with Janet in private and many of the comforts at Janet's house but Eddie's house was bigger and really provided more space for the two of them. There had to be a way to fix this problem because clearly there was no winner in this situation.

Janet was sitting in class and she got this idea. It wasn't what she had originally wanted but at this point it was worth a conversation with Eddie.

"Hey, Eddie I am up here in your room." Janet said. She was lying in his bed reading one of her text books when he got home from work and was calling out for her.

Eddie came through the door and smiled at the sight in front of him. Janet had her hair in this messy bun with a pen stuck through it and her reading glasses on. She looked so good to him at that moment he wished even then that they were alone.

"Hey I had an idea today and I wanted to run it past you." Janet said cautiously.

"Sure, shoot." Eddie said sitting down on the bed and beginning to take his work boots off.

"So I think we both would prefer the privacy that my place provides but to be honest I love your house Eddie. It has so much potential and the back yard is amazing. It is just bigger than mine and the kitchen…ohh don't get me started but there is Phil so I was thinking…" Janet said now more cautiously

"Yeah…" Eddie said looking intently at Janet wondering what she was going to say.

"What if we talked to Phil about moving into my house and we move in here. It is smaller so he wouldn't have as much to take care of and the lawn and stuff is smaller so Pizza Girl could handle the outside stuff and my house is on the grocery route so he could order his groceries and wouldn't even have to leave the house. Then we could have this whole house to ourselves and I can make it feel more like my house…" Janet said smiling knowing that she would want to be able to decorate in her own way.

Eddie looked at her and pondered what she was saying. He didn't like the idea of kicking phil out of the house but she did have several points that made the whole thing make sense. Janet would be able to keep her house at least in the way of still being able to go there and Phil would have a space all to himself that would be easier for him to keep up as well as Pizza girl. All and all it was a great idea but how would Phil take it.

"You know Janet that sounds like a great idea and I would be totally supportive of it but I don't know how to have that conversation with Phil. I don't feel comfortable talking to him about it." Eddie said honestly.

Janet thought for a second and then said, "Leave it up to me Eddie, I have an idea." She smiled because she knew exactly how she was doing to handle this situation.

Eddie looked at Janet and saw the sparkle she had in her eye and he knew then that whatever she had up her sleeve would probably do the trick. He leaned towards her face and whispered in her ear, "I have no doubt, now how much studying do you have left because I have some ideas of my own."

Janet smiled and closed her books and gently slid them off the edge of the bed and the two of them finally got the chance to enjoy each other in the house that would soon be their own.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

Janet was sitting at the school the next day and she suddenly realized that she had never told Hannah that her and Eddie were engaged. She quickly got her phone out and sent a text:

"Hey Hannah, girls night? Let me know when you can get together got to tell you something." J

"Hey girl, yeah that sounds great although I don't know if we should have a repeat of the last time we had girls night, you were sick for hours…ha ha…what's up?" H

"Don't remind me, it started out fun enough…are you free tonight by any chance?" J

"Actually yeah, Sam is staying over at Dooties so I was going to just curl up with a book and wine, I can do that anytime though…what are you thinking?" H

"Let's see if all the girls can go out and make a night of it…dinner and than drinks…we could go to Grand Springs?" J

"I am game, give me a chance to get a hold of everyone…where are you now, work or school?" H

"I am at school but will be done by 3:30 or so…I'm going to invite PG since I don't think Phil takes her anywhere…LOL" J

"Um, Ok but won't that be awkward since she practically lives there…with Phil and…Eddie?" H

"No, I think it will be ok, we were qetting quite close before. I think it will be ok, lets meet at my house around 7?" J

"Roger that." H

Janet smiled to her self knowing that Hannah is going to be off her rocker when she hears what has been happening over the last few weeks. And just like that the class was over and it was on to the next, biology.

Janet was in her bedroom getting ready for the evenings events. She had texted Eddie already to let him know to hang out with his friends as she was going out for girls night. She had somewhat of an alterior motive and that was to talk with PG about the potential for her and Phil to move to Janet's house and then her and Eddie could make a house for themselves but in order for it to work it had to be PG's idea…she was way more persuasive to Phil if she was passionate about the cause and Janet needed her to be because it meant Phil would leave his house if only briefly for the first time in over 10 years.

Janet heard the front door open and close and looked at her clock…it was 5:45pm and she wasn't anywhere near ready…she wondered why Hannah would be so early and when she looked in her mirror she realized why…it wasn't Hannah it was Eddie.

"What are you doing here? Didn't you get my text?" Janet asked concerned

"Yes I got your text but does that mean I am barred from coming here before your festivities start to kiss my fiance'?" Eddie said walking swiftly up to Janet and grabbing her around her waist.

Janet just smiled up at him knowing there was no way she would refuse that. Eddie leaned down and planted one heck of a passionate kiss on his fiancé. Janet got lost in Eddie's mouth for a brief moment forgetting all about what she was doing and at that very minute she didn't really care what she had planned. Eddie broke off the kiss and stared at Janet who was clearly reeling from the kiss, he smiled.

"I won't stay long but I wanted to at least see you a bit today. How was school?" he asked

"You know a lot of information and none of it exciting or captivating…I realize I have been out of school for awhile but was biology this boring when we were in high school?" Janet said smiling

"Yep it was." Eddie laughed

"Thank goodness I have my phone otherwise I would be bored to sleep…well except for this one kid who sits in front of me in that class. He draws all hour it seems and his drawings are rather disturbing. I often wonder what it would be like to be in that kid's head." Janet said chuckling "but he does draw well so it is interesting to watch at any rate."

"Just don't get too interested, I don't want you to leave me for the next Michelangelo." Eddie said chuckling but was somewhat serious on the inside.

"Oh you have nothing to worry about Eddie, this kid is like 20 years old, probably just still trying to find him self. I am like the mom of the group really…some kids even recognized me from when I worked at Sully's if you can believe that!" Janet said smiling

"Yes I can you are very unforgettable." Eddie said leaning in for another kiss that lasted much longer than the first.

Once they parted, Janet said, "You know if you keep that up I won't want to leave and have a girls night and I really want a girls night so I can tell all the girls that we are engaged…I think the only person that know is Nick." She said smiling

"Ok then you go and have fun and if you need a ride just text me ok?" Eddie said smiling but not really moving away from her.

"I don't think you are going to want to drive to Grand Springs to pick up a bunch of drunk girls…I think we are going to just stay there tonight so we won't have to drive at all." Janet said

"So I won't even get to see you later tonight? You are killing me you know that right?" Eddie said chuckling

"It's one night Eddie and trust me I have a plan so if it works we will be able to see each other every night for the rest of our lives." Janet said with a wink

"I love it when you get all James Bond on me. But seriously if you need me I am here and I will drive to Grand Springs if it means I can see you so call me if you need me ok!" Eddie said seriously.

"Yes I promise but I will for sure call you tomorrow when I get home…maybe we can spend some quality nap time together in the afternoon…what do you say?" Janet said smiling up at Eddie and beginning to pull him in for a hug.

"I say I will definitely be "tired" tomorrow and will need a nap. I love you Janet." Eddie said with one more kiss and turned to leave, just then there was a knock on the door.

Janet was lost a bit in Eddie's back side and didn't really hear the door until Eddie opened it to find a very surprised Hannah looking at him and then looking at Janet who was looking at Eddie's butt. Eddie said as he walked out the door, "make sure you keep my fiance' out of trouble tonight." With that statement he was gone.

"Hannah! You're early!" Janet said trying to snap out of it not realizing that Eddie just let the cat out of the bag of their engagement.

"EARLY! YOU'RE ENGAGED….TO EDDIE? When did this happen? And why didn't you tell me?" Hannah was doing her best to stay calm but she was finding it impossible as her voice got louder with every question.

"I'm sorry Hannah that was what I wanted everyone to get together for tonight so I could tell you all…it only happened a few weeks ago and was so sudden and a complete shock for me…it happened actually the night of your wedding." Janet said thinking back.

"The night of my wedding, Janet I talked to you the next day and you never mentioned anything except for a dream you had about Eddie…" Hannah was confused and trying to understand

"Ok so the night of your wedding or the not wedding, he came over late after I got home from being with you and we talked. He proposed that night and it wasn't planned or anything and he spent the night here and we well you know…anyway when I woke up he wasn't there and there was nothing here that would confirm that any of what I remembered was real so I thought I had dreamt the whole thing but apparently I didn't." Janet said

"Ok I don't get it where was Eddie then? Did he leave a note or text you or something?" Hannah asked

"No, he left in the morning to go get a ring because since he hadn't really planned on proposing he didn't have one and he said that no fiance' of his wouldn't have a ring to show that I was his." Janet smiled remembering the conversation and how sweet Eddie was.

"OMG, Janet look at that ring." Hannah screeched as she looked down at Janet's finger. "That is just beautiful Janet I am shocked." Hannah said now grabbing Janet's hand.

All Janet could do is smile and feel so happy and loved that Eddie bought such a gorgeous yet simple ring that complimented her so well.

"I feel like I am still dreaming sometimes because I am so happy Hannah. I mean I never thought in a million years that I would even have a relationship with Eddie again let alone be engaged and then moving in together, it is all just amazing." Janet said now looking her self at the ring on her finger.

"You are moving in together, where?" Hannah said just shocked.

"Oh yeah, that is what I need your help with. So what we did to try and figure out was where. You know this was my grandparents house but Eddie's house is so much bigger and the yard is nicer and quite frankly has so much potential for a family that it makes more sense to move in there but there is Phil…" Janet said

Hannah is just looking at Janet as if she is from another planet. 'did she just say family' Hannah is thinking.

"Janet are you pregnant?" Hannah blurted out

Janet looked at Hannah now in her own state of shock. "WHAT?"

"You are talking about moving in together and a family, the engagement so quick, are you pregnant?" she asked again.

"NO Hannah I am not pregnant. Why would you even say that? Why because Eddie wouldn't want to marry me otherwise is that what you are saying?" Janet said now angrily.

"NO, NO…I'm sorry Janet I am trying to process all of this and you are talking about a house for a family and moving in…this is all a lot to process. Of course he would want to marry you Janet it's the smartest decision I think he has ever made…next to asking you out in the first place." Hannah said smiling grabbing at Janet's hands.

Janet calmed down then and realized that Hannah is just trying to hear everything and is just surprised by everything that has happened.

"So if you have already decided why would you need my help?" Hannah said.

"Well we tried living at each others house for a week and it was great here at my house but Eddie's house is much bigger. Living there we couldn't really get away from Phil and PG. We had no privacy and it was very frustrating but it got me thinking that maybe if we could get Phil to move over here and maybe then PG could move in with him - it would be so much easier for them to take care of especially the lawn since we know that Phil isn't going to be doing it and then I wouldn't have to sell my Grandparents home AND Eddie and I would be able to create a home together, but the one problem is how to do get a shut in to move from one house to another?" Janet asked.

"So I was thinking that maybe the angle I need is to talk to PG about it and see if she brings it up to him and if he thinks about it he may come to us about it and then we can be supportive of it and therefore no one's feelings are hurt and everyone wins…make sense right?" Janet said

Hannah thought about it and said, "You are right about that. Phil is much more apt to do it if he thinks of it first and the definite way to get it in his ear is through Pizza Girl, now we just have to figure out how."

The two girls looked at each other and said, "Project Move Phil out" is about to begin. They laughed a little and Janet said, "well lets get ready and get this girls night started.

"Roger that" Hannah said and they turned and made their way into Janet's bedroom to prepare for the nights events.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

The girls were in full "girls night" mode in Grand Springs. They had all met at Janet's house and made their way to Grand Springs. Since they knew they would be spending the night they took two cars to get them all there and the rest of the transportation was provided by the cabs in Grand Springs. Janet had found this great hotel that had a huge suite that would accommodate up to 6 people…since it was Janet, Hannah, Pizza Girl, Allison, and Aubrey it was a perfect fit. They called a cab when they were all checked in and ready to go out…the cab arrived and recognized Janet right away as she had called her fair share of cabs as a dispatcher dealing with drunk calls all the time. The cab driver really loved Janet because he got twice as much business than he had before because Janet was stern with the bars in regards to paying for the cab services of the extremely drunk patrons that needed it. He always got his money and Janet made sure of it. Due to that, he provided free cab rides for girls night out as a thank you to her.

The girls had already been to three bars and were in mid swing of lots of fun as they entered the fourth and biggest bar they had been to yet.

"WOOOOO!" Pizza Girl began as she entered the doors. The other girls just laughed knowing that Pizza girl, whose real name was Emily wasn't much of a drinker but tonight you wouldn't know that as she was keeping up with the rest of the girls pretty well however it was definitely showing.

They found a table towards the back of the bar that was a big round one so they could all talk with each other. Janet had kept her ring finger somewhat covered up because she wanted to talk about it and move into the conversation about living with the conversation of the engagement according to Hannah and her master plan to "move phil out."

"So, I have been hiding something all night and I was hoping that I could take this opportunity to come clean with all of you." Janet said.

The girls just looked at each other with looks of surprise on their faces not really knowing what she was going to say, well except for Hannah who knew exactly what she was up too.

"What's wrong Janet?" Emily said concerned

"Nothing's wrong Emily. It's just that a lot has happened within these last few weeks and I just wanted to share with you all. First of all, I decided to go back to school which many of you already know and that is pretty important to me to stay focused on that goal. I started school a few weeks ago and so far it is going well but there was one thing that I hadn't counted on happening." Janet said looking down – actually to adjust her ring so everyone would see the beautiful stones in her engagement ring. 

"What happened? I thought you liked it at the Duff?" Allison asked

"Oh I do, I really do. I actually like going to classes now more than I did when I was in high school and that is surprising since I thought I would be the oldest person in class." Janet laughed

"But something happened the night of Hannah's 'almost' wedding that was totally unexpected but one of the best things that ever happened to me." Janet said beginning to lift her hand to show off her ring.

"Ok, you have our attention what happened?" Aubrey stated

"Well….Eddie and I talked and we got engaged." Janet said now lifting her finger to show everyone her ring.

Hannah just sat there and smiled seeing how happy Janet appeared. Emily just screamed and grabbed at her hand. She knew that Eddie and her were back together but was unaware that they were engaged. Allison and Aubrey were totally stunned…they looked at each other and then looked at Janet and immediately said "well that calls for more drinks and shots!" with that everyone said "WOOOOOO!"

Several hours later the girls had had plenty of drinks there was lots of dancing and everyone was getting to be tired out. They were still at the same place sitting around the table winding down. Janet and Emily were sitting next to each other and they were talking about Eddie and Phil.

"I am really happy for you both Janet. I always knew that Eddie would forgive you and you two would end up together. He was so unhappy when you two were apart." Emily said

"I was pretty unhappy too Em. I didn't think that we would ever speak again though. It is crazy to me that all of this is even happening, going to school and now marrying Eddie…I don't think I could get any happier." Janet said genuinely happy.

"So how are the wedding plans coming?" Em asked

"We haven't really made any. Right now we are trying to figure out where to live because with my work and school schedule and his schedule the only time we will be able to see each other are the evenings and sometimes the late evenings." Janet said hoping that Em would pick up what she was trying to drop.

"Yeah I can understand that…so what did you decide?" Em asked wondering herself what would happen with their living arrangements.

"We haven't yet. We tried living at each others house but that didn't really prove anything other then we love the privacy at my house, no offense, but Eddie's home is so much bigger and thinking about the future his house would be more adaptable but the thing is my house belonged to my grandparents and I just can't even consider the possibility of selling it… I don't know what the solution…if I knew it would just be Eddie and me then I would say we could move but looking ahead Eddie and I have talked about a family and my house just isn't big enough compared to his house so that is where we just stuck…I don't know what to do honestly." Janet said looking down trying to see if her move paid off.

"Wow…you and Eddie have talked about a family…already? I am happy for both of you I really am. I am trying to get Phil to work on maybe thinking about walking out of the house. I love him Janet I do but I can't see myself being with someone who won't come outside and lives with his friends, as much as I love Eddie and you I just feel like we need our own space but he just refuses to even try." Em said sighing

"I am sorry Emily I know that must be frustrating for you. I see how you two look at each other and I know you both feel the same way. I honestly don't know what will help motivate Phil but I don't think it is because he doesn't want to leave the house he is just…stuck I guess. Maybe we should give him a reason to want to try." Janet said hopeful

"What reason?" Emily asked not really getting what Janet was saying

"I was thinking that maybe you and Phil would like to live at my house…it is big enough for the two of you and easier to take care of. The yard is smaller so until Phil is amiable to the outside it would be easy for you to keep up and I would have two people that I truly care about living in my grandparents house…you could rent it out until you two decide what your future holds…what do you think?" Janet said looking at Emily

Emily sat there stunned and thought for a second and then blurted out "OMG…that is a GREAT idea. But how are we going to get him out of the house?" Emily asked

"Well I think that is a conversation that you need to have with Phil…if you can sell him on the idea of moving to my house then I will get him there…deal?" Janet said holding out her hand waiting for Emily to shake it.

"DEAL! Thanks Janet. This is the first real chance we will have to really make our relationship work and be on our own and maybe just maybe give Phil the motivation he needs to finally work on joining the rest of us in the world." With that Emily shook Janet's hand and then they hugged each other. Hannah was looking on and saw the exchange as she was doing her best to keep the other girls busy so Janet could talk to Emily. Looks like "Project Move Phil Out" just got off the ground.

The girls had made it back to the hotel and were partied out. They were all intoxicated to varying degrees and were giggly and talkative. They all got ready for bed and spent the next three hours just sitting on the edges of the beds in the room and were talking when Janet's text message alert went off. The girls were razzing her because they knew exactly who was texting her at 3am.

"Hey are you still awake?" text from Eddie sent to Janet

Janet responded, "Yeah we are just sitting around the room talking, what's up?"

"Just wanted to make sure you were ok and didn't need a ride" Eddie wrote

"I told you that we were staying here, what is really going on?" Janet wrote

"Nothing's wrong, I just wanted to make sure you were safe." Eddie wrote

"Are you sure? We are all fine in case anyone else wants to know." Janet wrote thinking Eddie was also asking for others.

"That's good that you are all fine but there is no one here but me." Eddie wrote

"Where are you?" Janet wrote

"At your house" Eddie wrote knowing she would ask why

"ummm, ok, why?" Janet wrote wondering why he was there.

"In case you changed your mind and came home, I miss you." Eddie wrote

Janet looked at her screen and wanted to scream. She loved how much Eddie had changed and told her what he was feeling now. The words just made her heart want to scream out loud that she loved this man but she settled for a simple text instead.

"I love you Eddie and I miss you too. Soon you and I will be together always." Janet wrote smiling

Hannah was watching Janet as she was talking to the other girls and she couldn't help but smile at how happy her friend was. She had her doubts as to whether Eddie and Janet would be able to get past their mistakes but now that they had she saw a difference in them both and both for the better.

"What do you mean by soon?" Eddie asked

"You know that plan I had well let's just say the seed has been planted…it won't be long now babe." Janet wrote again smiling

"I hope so because our schedules are definitely getting in the way of us spending time together. I spent enough time alone these last 7 months." Eddie wrote

"I know Eddie I am trying to fix that so just please be patient ok? I know exactly what you are saying…right now I am wishing I was home with you." Janet wrote

"I can be there in like 50 minutes" Eddie wrote

"No babe that is ok I'll see you in a few hours I promise…now go to bed I don't want you over tired tomorrow." Janet wrote

"Tomorrow? I thought you were coming back today." Eddie wrote thinking that maybe they decided to stay another day since it was already like 3:30am.

"Oh, it is morning isn't it…no I'll be home later today, Love you Eddie." Janet wrote

"Ok, Love you Janet…so much." Eddie wrote

At that point all the girls were nearly falling asleep so everyone turned their phones off and pulled the curtains as they knew the sun would be rising soon. It was time to get some sleep and have amazing dreams of the possibilities that lie ahead for them all, especially Janet and Emily.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15:

The girls began to stir right around the time that they needed to check out. They were lazily walking around gathering up their stuff and getting ready to head back to the Ridge.

Janet was tired to say the least and was looking forward to going right back to bed when she got home. She was tired, hung over and just wanted her own bed. She figured Eddie would be there but she thought she may get to sleep a bit before he wanted to "keep her awake".

Janet walked in the door after saying goodbye to everyone who had their cars all parked either in her driveway or on her lawn.

Janet was so incredibly tired yet excited to see Eddie. She had missed him even though she was only gone for one night. It seemed strange to her that she had gotten so attached to someone who she was astranged from not more than two months ago. She realized just how quickly her life had changed and she could not be happier about it. Not only because Eddie was back in her life but that they seemed to be much closer than they ever had before and he was telling her how he felt all the time and not just when she asked, it meant so much to her and just made her want to be with him that much more. Janet was becoming a part of someone else perhaps for the first time in her life instead of being the dependable independent woman that she had always been. Janet realized now that even though her and Eddie had dated for quite some time the first time around she never really let herself become dependent on him not the way she has become since they got back together. She thought "maybe that was part of the problem." Regardless one thing was for sure, she was happy.

Janet dropped her bag in the foyer and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. She definitely was a bit hung over and had the worst case of dry mouth. She was filling her glass with water when she felt arms come around her waist and kisses were being placed on her neck accompanied by a very familiar smell. She smiled.

"Hey there" Janet said turning around to face Eddie.

"Hey there yourself, I am very happy to see you this morning." Eddie said smiling

"Actually its afternoon Eddie, were you sleeping yourself?" Janet said beginning to put her arms around his neck.

"Yeah I was. I tried to stay up later last night so I would be tired and able to take a nap with you when you got home." Eddie said lifting his eyebrows suggestively

"Well if that is the case then we better get to that nap." Janet said dropping her arms and holding out her hand to take his in hers.

"You lead the way." Eddie said smiling

The two made it to the bedroom and cuddled up in the bed. They were both so happy to be with each other that they genuinely snuggled into one another and before long they were both asleep. Maybe not the homecoming Janet was expecting but they were both tired and they would have plenty of time for other activities later in the day.

Janet and Eddie woke up several hours later, it was near evening. They both couldn't believe they had slept that long. Eddie realized that he only slept that soundly when Janet was with him, a lesson he learned the hard way. During their time apart Eddie barely slept for a few hours at a time. He struggled with nightmares of the beating at first and then the fight he had with Janet in the hospital replayed over and over in his mind to the point where he found it difficult to close his eyes. It was like his mind was replaying all the mistakes of his life and wouldn't let him rest until he dealt with them all. He came to terms with the beating and with Matt as he was sent away to prison for the attempt on his life. Due to Matt's horrible record of fighting and the extensiveness of the injuries that Eddie sustained in the attack, Matt was charged with Attempted Homicide. Matt ended up taking a plea for 1st Degree Reckless endangering safety with use of a dangerous weapon and got 10 years in prison. But in Matt's eyes it was better than 30 years or more depending on a jury's view of his actions and with his record of reckless behavior he wasn't about to take the chance. As part of the plea deal, Matt was also given the option to go to a medium security prison far outside the Ridge so Eddie really lost track of him in his thoughts once he was sent away. However the resolve of his relationship with Janet took so much longer. Now that she was in his life again there was no way he was going to lose her again. Telling her how he felt and asking her to marry him so quickly seemed so crazy at the time because it was so unplanned and so unlike anything Eddie had ever done in the past but he was so happy he had made the decision to follow his heart, it was the right one. He vowed from that moment on that he would always tell her how he felt even if that meant he looked vulnerable or felt that way in doing so. Janet was the one person in his life, perhaps the only person in his life that he could be that way with and it was a nice feeling.

As Janet and Eddie lay there and slowly began to move around and wake up they looked into each others eyes. Eddie whispered to her, "I missed you last night. Did you girls have a great time?"

"Yeah we did. I did miss sleeping with you though we didn't get much sleep since we were up most of the night talking." Janet said in somewhat of a yawn.

"were you talking about me?" Eddie smiled when he said it in a low voice

"No not really, well maybe a little bit but only in regards to when you started texting me…all the girls wanted to know who it was that was texting me and what you were saying." Janet said smiling right back

"So you told them what I was saying?" Eddie asked

"No, I didn't tell them what you were saying only that it was you." Janet said slapping his shoulder playfully

"I kind of like the relationship that we have now Janet where we can tell each other everything but I kind of what it just to stay between you and I ya know." Eddie said softly.

"I know that Eddie and I completely understand. I think in some ways we were meant to go through all of this because our relationship is so much better now than it ever was. I don't know I guess things happen for a reason." Janet said now starting to run her fingers along his jaw line.

"I am not sure I like the process of all of this but I must admit I do like the end result." Eddie said just before leaning in for a kiss.

They shared a long and passionate kiss before Janet pulled away to say something. "You know I talked to Emily and she is going to talk with Phil about moving here to my place so we can spend all of our days or more importantly our night's together, isn't that great?" Janet said so excited.

"That is exciting but I will believe it when I see it Janet. Maybe it would be best if we just moved into this house instead of mine." Eddie said rather timidly

"I don't understand Eddie. I thought you wanted to live in your house." Janet said somewhat confused

"I was thinking about it Janet and I guess I feel badly that I am "kicking" him out of the only house he has known for 10 years. Maybe in time we can transition into the other house when he is more ready to make that move but I really don't want to be apart every night while we are waiting for Phil to walk out the door." Eddie said.

Janet thought for a moment and she finally understood what he was saying. He was beginning to feel guilty for his situation and happiness and didn't want Phil to feel like he was being disregarded now that Eddie and Janet were engaged. He wanted to be respectful to Phil and their friendship and give him the time to adjust and make the decision to leave on his own.

"You know what Eddie? We really don't need that big house right now anyway so if you want to move in here that is ok with me. Maybe we could still talk to Phil about the possibility of moving here in the future and that eventually we would move in to your home when we needed more space but I am definitely ok with living here if you are. I just want to be with you Eddie it really doesn't matter to me where that is." Janet said once again placing her hands on either side of his face.

"I really think that is a better approach and maybe Emily can help, it is still weird to hear you say Emily when we have been calling her pizza girl forever." Eddie said chuckling

"Yeah it does take some getting used to but I kind of like Emily better." Janet said chuckling slightly

Eddie now moving in to what he really wants to do and it doesn't involve talking at all. "lets say we really take that nap that you talked about earlier."

Janet just smiled, "absolutely."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16:

Things had been going really well in the Ridge. Janet's job was going well and school was going even better. She started to really enjoy her classes and she found a balance finally between work, school and  
>Eddie.<p>

Eddie had officially moved into her home now for a few weeks and although it did take some adjusting they both really enjoyed living with one another. Sometimes it felt very familiar and other times they wondered is this really going to work but luckily there hadn't been many times like that. Janet did a "clean house" of her things getting rid of all the things she really didn't need anymore. Something that had been on her to do list for quite some time but she never really felt inspired to get it done but with Eddie moving in he needed space for his things too so she felt now is the time. They decided to make some bigger changes as well and that included some repainting of some areas and some redecorating, mostly Eddie's idea. The first place was the bedroom. Eddie really wanted a fresh start to their life and to really let go of all the demons that were held in that room. He thought that if they designed it together that maybe it would feel more like their room and not a room that so many mistakes were made. Janet really understood what Eddie was up to although the "your room could really use a new coat of paint" speech was what he used. She was happy to go through the process of picking out a new color and a new bedroom set. Eddie had his eye on this gorgeous solid oak bed frame with just one dresser to match but it was quite the dresser. The head board was amazing in its craftsmanship with leaves and flowers carved into the woodwork. It wasn't girly though it was beautiful and big as well. It had high posts on either side and the middle had a beautiful arch to it. It was perfect she had to admit, so much nicer than the wrought iron one she had. Eddie told Janet that it was his treat since he was moving into her house to buy this furniture for them. Janet was so touched she didn't know what to say other than "when can they deliver it." The two of them headed then to the local paint store to undertake the biggest decision, what color to paint the bedroom and Eddie also decided that perhaps we could maybe change the bathroom into a bit more of a neutral zone since he wasn't sure about all the pink and flowers that she had in there presently. Janet just laughed and was happy to relinquish her pink bathroom. To be honest, that was her grandma's bathroom and she never painted it because it felt like her grandma was still there with her instead of being so far away in a nursing home but Janet knew that her grandma would understand since Eddie would be living there too now. So they decided on a linen color for the bedroom that was clean and neutral and would really set off the oak in the bed set and a darker tan for the bathroom. Janet had found a shower curtain that she loved and it had browns, and blues in it that she thought the tan would really bring out. It wasn't girly but it wasn't a total guy bathroom either. It was beautiful and it was theirs.

Painting was an adventure with Janet and Eddie. Eddie said he would do all of it but Janet insisted on helping. Eddie went along with it for a bit but when she was more interested in getting paint on Eddie then on the wall he decided to postpone the painting and then one day when she had to work and he had to go "with Owen" he painted the rest of the bedroom and the bathroom in less time and even managed to put two coats on before she even walked through the front door. He was just hanging up the shower curtain she had bought when she got home.

"I thought you said you were going to be gone all day with Owen." Janet said surprised to see everything done.

"Well there was a change in plans so I decided to make today a productive one. Come see the bathroom I got the shower curtain up." Eddie said so pleased with him self.

Janet saw right through his story, "there wasn't ever any plans with Owen was there you sneaky Pete." Janet said laughing

"Perhaps I may have exaggerated a bit when I said I was going with Owen." Eddie said with a twinkle in his eye.

"It looks amazing Eddie so I am glad that those "plans" fell through." Janet said somewhat mocking Eddie.

"I have a ton of homework to do tonight so I am going over to the desk and work on it while you finish up here. Maybe we can order something for dinner or something?" Janet asked

"Sure, I will order us a pizza and I run over to the store and pick us up some beers or would you rather have a soda or something since your studying." Eddie asked

"That would be great Eddie. One beer isn't going to hurt but I do have to be good because I got a lot of reading to do and I can't fall asleep this time." Janet laughed

"Ok, well I will make sure and cut you off after one. I'll be right back." Eddie said as he quickly kissed her and out the door he went.

The next day, Janet was sitting in class and getting ready for the professor to show up. The boy that typically sits in front of her was busy doodling something in his notebook and he seemed somewhat agitated today. She couldn't really put a finger on it but it seemed as though he was having a problem with someone. She had never really seen him talk to anyone she only saw him draw but there was something about him today that worried her a bit. She tried to reach out to him to see if she could help.

"Hey Seth. Whatcha drawing today?" Janet said in a low voice

He didn't acknowledge her question at all. He stopped briefly in his drawing and then started again moments later.

"I'm sorry Seth, I don't mean to bother you, you just seem upset. I can leave you alone if that is what you would prefer." Janet said quietly

Seth turned slightly and said, "Thanks Janet but there isn't anything that you can do, there isn't anything that anyone can do." With that he turned back to what he was doing leaving Janet to wonder what was going on with Seth.

Class went by quickly and Janet was actually able to participate in the discussion. The late into the evening studying paid off but she couldn't get Seth off her mind. After all it was a psychology class and isn't that what you look for are signs in people when something isn't right? Janet thought. After a while she decided that whatever it was he wasn't going to talk about it but she was going to try again later, maybe tomorrow to see how he was doing. She wasn't close to him by any means but she did say hi to him almost every day. Janet figured if he is sitting in front of her for a year it was the least she could do to say hi every time they had class together.

Janet had to get moving after her last class because she had to work tonight in Grand Springs. They were great about letting her get there when she could, depending on traffic and the class itself. Sometimes she was 15 minutes late but they never yelled at her because they knew she would be there and the only reason she would be late didn't have anything to do with her. Today however would be different. Today, Janet wouldn't show up for work at all because today Janet was going to face something she never expected.

Janet was walking through the halls going to her last class. It would be boring, geology, who ever would have thought that studying rocks was a great idea but it was part of the curriculum she had to take so she made the best of it. Her professor was a balding man and clearly loved studying rocks. He took great pleasure in describing each and every one right down to the last detail. You could tell by the look on his face that he loved every minute he got to talk about the rocks and look for that same feeling in his students although Janet was sure he didn't see it often. She just had to get through a few more classes and the test and her study of rocks would be complete as the end of the semester was approaching rapidly.

Suddenly the loudest sounds rang out in the halls of the building she was in. She had a difficult figuring out what they were as did the other students in her class. The professor clearly annoyed by the interruption in his lecture on stalagmites looked out the door to see what the noise was all about. Once he opened the door the noise started again and then they could hear screaming and what sounded like footsteps rapidly running around the halls. The professor quickly closed and locked the door and turned of the lights to the room. He whispered to the students that there was a gunmen in the halls of the building and that they all needed to stay calm and quiet so that the room would look as if it was empty. This had been the protocol established in all the colleges around the United States after so many school shootings had occurred and after such devastation at Virginia Tech all the professors were trained on what to do if it ever happened in their school. The Ridge was such a quiet town and very rarely had an incidents of anything out of the ordinary drunken college students, nothing like what happened in Virginia would ever happen in The Ridge but it looked like that notion was now gone and it was replaced with a harsh reality. The Duf was now under attack by someone or maybe more then one person and the Professor needed to keep his students calm and try and keep them safe as much as he could.

They all were silent in the room. You couldn't hear hardly anyone breathing. They had all gathered along the wall underneath the black board so if anyone looked into the windows it would appear as though the class was empty. More shots rang out and the sound got louder and louder. Janet knew at this point that the person with the weapon was walking in their direction. She started to try and think ahead to her skills as a dispatcher and what she do to help in this situation but deep down she was beyond scared. All she could think of was Eddie and her life with him. They hadn't had the chance to do anything yet and her life was in jeopardy. At this moment she wanted to run as fast as she could to get away but knew that that would be a mistake. All she could do was sit there and pray that this person or persons would leave them alone and keep walking. She then thought of all the screaming and wondered who had been out there. Who had been in front of this person or who had been hurt. She felt some what guilty for hoping that the person just kept walking because that would mean someone else would be in harms way. So many things were going through her mind at the time she didn't know what to do.

The Ridge Police department was immediately notified that shots had been fired on the campus and that someone was still in one of the buildings and was still shooting. The chief of Police had already called in the emergency tactical unit and alerted several area police departments to assist in the capture and containment of the situation/shooter. News of the shooting spread throughout the Ridge like wildfire and soon it reached Eddie. He was sitting at his desk when the news bulletin came across the radio. As the words filled his ears he immediately went over Janet's class schedule mentally. He then looked at the clock "ok she would be in her last class and maybe she got done early…what is the name of that building that she has geology in?" he thought trying to remember. Janet often talked about this class because it was so boring and it was her last class on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Suddenly it hit him, the name of the building and just as the announcer on the radio said the name of the building for which the gun men now had hostages he realized was the same as what he just remembered. He completely went white and Nick looked at him as if he was going to drop.

"What's going on Eddie?" Nick said. He had been in the storage room and hadn't heard the news announcement.

"Janet, there is a gun men shooting people at the Duf and the bastard in keeping hostages in the building that Janet has her last class in. Nick she can't be there…this can't be happening …not now." Eddie was panicked.

He immediately tried to text her and got nothing in return. She always would text him back in this class she hated it. He continued to send her text after text trying to get a response but nothing. The feeling in the pit of his stomach told him Janet was in danger…suddenly she responded, "remember that I love you no matter what always remember that."

The radio news announcer came on again, "News update on the Duf shooter…he has taken a classroom of students hostage at the Duf in the science building. It is unconfirmed as of yet how many students there are but there are 10 confirmed students that have been shot. He has barricaded him self in a classroom and the police and tactical units are working to find out what he is planning to do with those students. We have confirmation that at least 3 students are dead and 7 are in critical condition but we don't know the status of the hostages at this time. Please stay updated for further information on this breaking story."

As Janet finished the text message she silenced her phone. The gunmen had stopped just outside their door and was looking in or so they thought. He tried the handle and discovered it was locked . He walked away a bit and then came back, broke the glass of the window and let him self in. Everyone screamed as he entered with a shot gun in one hand and a pistol in the other. Janet was shocked to see that the gunmen was Seth, the boy who sat in front of her in her psychology class. Before she could think about what she was doing, "Seth, what are you doing?" came out of her mouth. He quickly turned and looked at Janet. He was shocked to see her there. She was one of the only people in that school that ever talked to him or even notice if something was wrong. But right now he couldn't see her any differently then anyone else. He was full of rage and she was attempting to get his attention and as he pointed his weapon at Janet they both knew that Janet now had his full attention.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17:

Janet and Seth were face to face now only a gun was also pointed at Janet's face. She had to think quickly as to what to say but to say she was shocked was an enormous understatement. She had always seen Seth as a different kind of person but she never saw him as a killer and now there they were face to face with blood on his hands and she was conceivably the next of his victims.

"Janet, I didn't know that you would be here…why are you here? This classroom is supposed to be empty!" Seth said with clear rage as an under tone

"This is a Geology class…it is my last class of the day Seth." Janet knew she needed to talk to him and find out how bad this was and she needed to remain calm. "Can you tell me what is going on with you?"

"Now everyone wants to know don't they!" He screamed at her. Internally he didn't mean to yell at her because she was the only person who really acknowledged him and had since the year had begun but she was a part of all of them as he saw it which made her no different and just as responsible.

"Seth I asked you this morning if something was wrong and you didn't say anything…I didn't want to pry into your life but I was concerned." Janet said trying to be understanding without being condescending.

"I know you did Janet and I don't mean for you to be here in the middle of this…I came in here because I thought no one was in here." Seth said a little more calm but then suddenly he started screaming.

" All of you need to move over there…by the windows I don't want anyone to be thinking that they can shoot me threw the windows." "MOVE!" as he began to wave his weapons around.

Janet's classmates began to move slowly, completely in shock and udder fear for their lives. Janet spoke softly, "Come on everyone come over here it will be ok." Janet moved slightly to help those students that were more gripped with fear and couldn't move to Seth's satisfaction.

Suddenly the phone in the classroom started ringing and Seth started screaming again. "How do they know that I am here…give me your cell phone's all of you." As each student, including Janet handed over their cell phones the phone on the wall rang again. Janet said, "Seth they will continue to call if it is the police but this class was suppose to be over almost an hour ago and the shots came from this building so the police are probably calling room to room."

"What are you some kind of police detective or something?" Seth asked Janet

"No but I work for the Grand Springs Police department as a dispatcher so I kind of know their procedures a bit. If you want the next time they call I will talk to them and tell them what you want them to know." She said hoping she wasn't over stepping her boundaries.

"FINE!" Seth said just as the phone rang again.

"Hello?" Janet said softly

"Who is this? This is the Chief of Police in Knight's Ridge"

"My name is Janet Meadows. I am a student here." Janet said trying to be to the point not knowing what Seth wanted her to say.

"Is the gunmen in your classroom?"

"Yes" Janet said looking at Seth

"Ok , now I need you to listen carefully. We have a tactical unit surrounding the building and units are going to be headed to the roofs of the surrounding buildings to see if they can get a shot. I need you to keep the communication going, can you do that Janet?"

"Yes" Janet said again looking at Seth

"What are they saying?" Seth screamed at Janet

"They want to know if you are in this classroom and if there are other students here." Janet knew that wasn't the second question but it worked with the answer she had given.

"Tell them to back off the buildings…I can see them trying to get to the roofs and I can see them on the grounds too…they all need to back off or I will start shooting people in this room…tell them to BACK OFF NOW!" Seth screamed peaking out the windows just before he started pulling the shades down.

"Ok Janet I heard what he said and that was an excellent cover to the question you are doing great. I need to know how many people are in that classroom besides the shooter?" The Chief asked.

"There are 20 students and the professor." She said.

"Is there only one shooter or more?" he asked

"No" she said hoping he understood what she meant

"Ok good Janet, where are the students?"

"By the windows." Janet said looking again at Seth

Janet heard the Chief radio someone and told them to stand down that the hostages were by the windows so they couldn't make the shot without hurting the innocents.

"Ok Janet, you are doing great. You are so calm and that will help us but you need to understand that this may take a long time so please hang in there with us ok?" he said knowing that this may take some time.

Janet sat there silent for a second still looking at Seth realizing perhaps for the first time that she too was a hostage. A hostage of a man that she had seen for months in front of her in her class not realizing how much pain he was in emotionally. Realizing that she may not survive this situation and she may not ever see Eddie or Hannah or Sam or her grands again. Tears silently fell from her eyes before she was able to stop them but she never made a sound.

"Janet, are you still there?"

"Yes sir." She said quietly

"Just stay with me Janet we'll get you through this." The chief's heart broke for her because he knew what a devastating situation this was and the potential for disaster at any moment. He wished he could tell her that she would absolutely make it out alive but he didn't really know that. He did know that she was showing a lot of bravery thus far so he played to her strength.

Meanwhile, Eddie was glued to the radio as text after text went unanswered by Janet. He was scared beyond scared – the most scared he had ever felt in his life and he didn't know what to do other then to listen to the events unfolding through the radio reports.

The radio began another news update: "This just in, reports confirm that the police have made contact with one of the students in the classroom that is being held hostage by the gunmen. It is uncertain who the gunmen is at this time but reports have confirmed that it looks like one gunmen has a classroom of 20 students and one professor hostage. The police have made contact by telephone with one of the students who sources have confirmed is a student of the Duf, Janet Meadows. She has been providing the police with the information thus far. No confirmation on any further injuries or deaths since he took control of the classroom. Stayed tuned for more on this breaking story." And just like that the news broadcast ended and Eddie and Nick sat in shock as his worst fear came to light. His fiance', the love of his life was trapped in the school in a classroom with a gunmen who may or may not kill her or injure her and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Suddenly Eddie ran to the bathroom and got sick. Nick just sat there stunned when the door opened and Hannah came into the shop with tears running down her face. She had clearly heard the same broadcast and was devastated by the news that her best friend was in harms way. It seemed at that very moment all of Knight's Ridge held their breath for one of their own had just been confirmed in the first hostage and now brutal massacre that was taking place at the Dufrane college.

Eddie stood in front of the sink and rinsed his mouth out and tried to splash water on his face. He looked in the mirror and felt as though he had aged 20 years. He thought, "this can not be happening to her. We finally find our way back to one another and she is gone again just like that. I lost her once and I can not lose her again." He hung his head and cried right there in the bathroom tears of the deepest sorrow he had ever felt. Hannah and Nick looked towards the bathroom door and could hear the gut wrenching sobs coming from behind the door. Hannah knew that Eddie loved Janet there was no doubt in her mind but to hear his emotions on that level broke her heart. Hannah thought, "one day I will tell Janet about this day so she can understand just the depth of his love for her, one day soon, one day when she is back with all of us, one day when she is not with someone who could take my best friend away from me…he better not take my best friend away from me…please keep her safe, Lord please don't let that person hurt her…I am begging you please help her get through this." With that the shop fell silent as each of them were saying their own prayers for Janet's safe return.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18:

Hours seem to drift by and nothing had happened. The day turned into night and the building was eerily quiet. Seth was sitting in a desk with a vacant expression on his face. All of the students including Janet were huddled in the corner. There was no need for them to be near the windows because it was somewhere in the middle of the night and the shades were drawn so nothing could be seen. Everyone was so tired but so afraid to close their eyes for fear of Seth's mind changing and what those consequences meant. For now everything was silent.

Eddie, Nick and Hannah were at the shop now joined by Owen, Allison, Ikey, Emily, Audrey, Ronnie and Sully. The shop appeared to be the place for those who were closest to Janet to gather and support each other. No one spoke all that could be heard was the radio as it was their only life line to Janet somehow. Eddie's mind was reeling and he couldn't seem to shake this feeling of dread. He knew that Janet was good in a crisis and that is probably why she was the one that was chosen to talk with the police. He couldn't imagine how scared she was right now and he was only praying for her to return. His world just didn't seem worth living if she wasn't in it. He didn't want to go home because it was their home and he couldn't be there without her and he couldn't go to 32 Gelson because he couldn't seem to move from the shop as if it was a place where he first heard her name and now he couldn't leave. Suddenly this strange noise rang through the shop, it was the door. The whole group quietly looked up to a shaking, hyperventilating Phil attempting to walk through the door but rather falling through it. Eddie instinctively stood up in udder shock that it was actually Phil and Emily was soon to follow. They both ran to the door and helped him to get in. Once inside he seemed to return to normal breathing and the gang was just in shock over his triumph. This was the first time he had ventured out of the house in over 10 years and he did it on his own. Emily in that moment was so happy and proud of Phil she nearly attacked him and kissed him repeatedly. Eddie couldn't help but smile at these two people. He could see that their quirkiness was what brought them together and was seems to have bonded them to one another. He was so happy that his shut in friend was able to find that happiness in the strangest of circumstances. It reminded him of Janet and the reality set in again. Eddie just silently returned to his desk and stared at the picture of him and Janet that they took shortly after he gave her the ring and she said yes a second time. Her facial expression was so funny and happy and she was sticking out her hand as if the show the camera the ring but it turned out so cute he printed it off his phone and put it on his desk. Janet used it for her screen saver on her phone…a phone that remained silent.

Janet sat there thinking about Eddie. She stared at her ring or what she could see of it in the moon light since that is all the light they had. She remembered the first and second time he asked her. She couldn't believe how lucky she was to have him back in her life. Dread began to fill her as she wondered if she would ever get out of this situation, if she did would she ever be the same. Would her life resume as it had before or would this change her forever. There was so much that Janet had needed to work on when her and Eddie broke up the first time and she really felt like she had overcome so much. She knew she was made of some strong stuff but this was so overwhelming. She didn't want to give in to her feelings of fear but she genuinely felt it. What she wouldn't give to have Eddie's arms around her right now but there was no time for herself there were others that needed to be comforted so that is what she was going to do.

Suddenly a flash of light pierced the room and Seth jumped from his seat to see where it was coming from. It had to be very early in the morning by this time as the darkness was slowly beginning to fade but the light was strong and uncharacteristic to the sun. As Seth jumped from the desk the pistol he had in his hand had fired and struck one of the students. It was not a life threatening injury but mass panic set in. The more the students panicked the worse Seth reacted and the bullets began to fly. Just as quickly as it started it ended as the police swat team stormed into the room and took down Seth before Janet had even realized what had happened. It took moments which felt like hours for the scene to unfold but there it was, Seth lay dead in a pool of his own blood and seven students were injured. The biggest loss that day was the professor who tried to protect his students the best he could and got in the way when the bullets began. He was shot in the back as he threw himself in front of the students all huddled together in one last attempt at being their teacher and their protector, an act that would not go unnoticed or forgotten by the school, the townspeople, the police, Seth and every student who witnessed his bravery.

The flash was the SWAT team trying to determine where the gunmen was and with his reaction to the light they were able to pinpoint in location in the classroom. Their reaction was swift but not swift enough to stop Seth from raining bullets on the students in room 203. The injuries were severe and in some cases critical. It took the police and EMT's several minutes to get the injured out to the hospital and tend to those who were safe but badly traumaticized by the hostage situation and the gun shots. The students had been held hostage for nearly 16 hours which was one of the longest hostage situations the Ridge had ever seen and now it was over but the fall out was just beginning.

As the group sat there in the early morning hours silent, the Radio suddenly began to go crazy with News bullentins:

"News update on the hostage situation at the Dufrane…in the early morning hours the SWAT team stormed the building in which the hostages were being held and in a swift and strategic move were able to gain control of the gunmen. It is reported that 23 year old Seth Anderson, a student at the Duf was confirmed to be the gunmen. Mr. Anderson died this morning of a single gunshot wound to his head. It is unknown at this time as to why he went on this rampage of violence or why he choose to take this group of students hostage but it is certain that the devastation that this young man caused will be felt for years to come. One confirmed death and 7 others were shot with varying injuries from critical to severe. No confirmation on who was killed or the others who were injured. All the students were taken to the Ridge memorial hospital to be checked out. Family members are to report to the administration desk for further instructions on how to get in contact with loved ones. The rest of the Ridge can breath a sigh of relief as the terror at the Duf has ended."

Eddie didn't say a word just ran from his desk and jumped into his truck before anyone could offer to drive him there. He drove so quickly and ran every stop light he could to get to her hoping beyond hope she wasn't the one who died. Luckily it was the early hours of the morning and most of the police were at the crime scene so no one cared about Eddie's breaking several laws to get to his fiance'. He parked his truck in the lot of the hospital and ran into the doors searching for the administration desk. He found someone and asked frantically, "I am looking for my fiance' she was one of the hostages at the Duf, can you please help me find her?" The nurse looked at him with the most concerned look he had seen and said, "Ok sir I can take you to a waiting area. All the people that were brought in and looked without injuries are there if your fiance' was injured they can help you from that point and we'll get you where you need to be." Eddie suddenly felt sick again. That feeling of dread returned and it was back with a vengeance. "Please God let her be alive" is all his thoughts would surround at that moment.

The waiting room desk was filled with people at this point. Parents, students, loved ones and friends, a sea of people all searching for someone. You could see some people already hugging and some where crying tears of joy and of sorrow over the loss of one of those hostages. Eddie stood in the midst of this room of people feeling more lost than he ever had, just spinning around and around searching for Janet or someone who could tell him where she was. Suddenly someone grabbed his arm.

"Are you Eddie?" the meak voice asked

"Yes I am, who are you?" He asked confused

"You are Janet's fiance' right?" she asked

"Yes I am, where is she?" he asked frantically

"I recognize you from her screen saver on her phone." She looked down

"Please, where is she, where's Janet?" he said grabbing her by the arms now

"I am sorry Eddie but Janet was shot. I don't know where they took her." She said with tears now running down her face.

Eddie dropped to the ground as if someone had just punched him in the stomach. He felt so lost and didn't know what to do. Suddenly there were hands on his arms helping him up and it was Nick and Owen. They surrounded him and he fell apart right there. The words, "she's been shot" kept ringing in his mind over and over again. Owen and Nick grabbed each side and held him tightly knowing the devastation he was feeling. Hannah was crying off in the distance trying to find someone who could help them all. Hannah was asking everyone who looked like they worked there if they knew how to find her. A nurse had just come through the doors and Hannah grabbed her arm.

"Please, can you please tell me how to find my friend, my best friend. Her fiance' is here and we need to find her, her name is Janet Meadows." Hannah said crying and pleading for help from this nurse.

"Ok let me go check and see where she is at." The nurse disappeared behind the doors and Hannah began screaming Eddie's name. "EDDIE OVER HERE! THEY ARE GOING TO FIND JANET!"

Eddie heard the words and seem to snap out of the state he was in briefly, "Did she say Janet?" Owen, Nick and Eddie walked over to Hannah just as the nurse came back.

"Which one of you is Ms. Meadows fiance'?"

"I am" Eddie said now standing on his own.

"The doctor needs to see you right away."

Just like that Eddie disappeared behind the doors.

The nurse explained, "the doctor needs to talk to you about some life saving decisions. Janet did have you listed as her emergency contact and power of attorney in the event anything should happen so you will need to sign some paperwork for the surgery."

Eddie just listened to what she said and was somewhat speechless as to when Janet did that. At this time it didn't matter when he was just grateful that she had done that but the thought of making decisions concerning her life was making him very nervous and uneasy.

They walked into the room and the doctor addressed Eddie, "Hi, my name is Dr. Dillon and I need to put Ms. Meadows into surgery as soon as possible. She was shot in the chest and it has punctured her lung which is making it very difficult for her to breath. I will need you to sign this consent form for the surgery." With that, he handed Eddie a clip board with forms to sign. Eddie involuntarily signed the forms before his head could catch up to his actions.

They took Janet away so quickly he barely got a glimpse of her. As he stood there in a state of shock a nurse came up to him, "the Chief of Police told me that she was instrumental in helping them with this situation and she was shot in the process of trying to shield the students when the SWAT team entered the room. She took a bullet to protect her fellow classmates. You should be very proud of your wife." With that the nurse walked away.

It was more than Eddie could stand. He fell to his knees and openly cried for what seemed like hours but was only a few moments before the nurse came back over and helped him to his feet. "It is going to be a while before she is out of surgery, why don't I get you back to where your friends are so you can all wait together, ok?" the nurse said trying to help him up.

Eddie looked at her with tears on his face and dripping from his eyes and never muttered a word he just looked at her and began to put one foot in front of the other. Nothing in his world was any where near ok but he knew that he would go insane if he were to be alone so he was lead out to where all of his friends now gathered, including Phil and just as he approached them everything went black.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19:

It seemed as though they had been sitting in the waiting room for days waiting for someone to emerge that had any information about Janet. She had been taking into surgery several hours ago and nothing had been reported since. Eddie had collapsed when he arrived back in the waiting room just as he had approached his friends. Owen and Nick saw the look on his face and anticipated something was not right but in realistic terms he hadn't eaten or really drank anything for nearly a day when Janet was being held hostage at the Duf and he went straight from BFW to the hospital when he finds out she has been shot. His body just couldn't handle all the stress and he collapsed. The nurses checked his vitals after Owen and Nick got him safely onto a chair and he was starting to show signs of dehydration and his blood pressure was a bit on the low side so they took him to the cafeteria after they all said "you aren't going to be any good to her when she wakes up if you are checked into this hospital yourself, now come on lets go." Eddie didn't want to leave the waiting room area but the nurse said that due to the extent of the gunshot wound it would take several hours to repair the damage.

Everyone returned to the waiting area an hour later and Eddie's coloring did start to return. He drank a bottle of water and had a few bites of a burger but he just couldn't eat. He felt as though his life was hanging in the balance of what happened in that surgical room. As the hours ticked away the whole group became more and more sullen each of them going through their own scenarios in their minds of what life would be like without Janet in it. None of them liked the prospect of her not being there. If only Janet really knew the extent of how much she impacted the lives around her and how much she was loved by all of her friends, especially Eddie.

Finally the doctor emerged from the doors of the hallway that Eddie had traveled through nearly 8 hours earlier. He went right for Eddie. 

"Mr. Latekka?" the doctor asked

Eddie sprang to his feet, "Yes I'm here how is Janet?"

"She is in recovery now. She sustained a gunshot wound through her side into her chest and lung area. The bullet was lodged in the lung tissue and was causing a lot of breathing problems, her lung was collapsed and there was damage to some of her organs, namely her spleen and part of her stomach. The bullet was removed from the lung along with a portion of the lung and her spleen needed to be removed. The damage to her stomach was repaired and should heal properly over time but in the mean time it will affect her eating habits and how her body breaks down food. We are not sure yet if she will need a feeding tube until that area heals only time will tell when she wakes up from the surgery. All and all she is very lucky because the bullet missed her heart and all major organs and arteries. It is going to take some time for her to recover from these injuries so she will need to remain in the hospital for a few weeks at least and she is going to be in a certain amount of pain but we will do our best to manage it with medication. Do you have any questions?" The doctor concluded.

Eddie's mind was reeling. All of what the doctor said sounded like an episode of a TV show and not happening to his fiance'. Somewhere in his brain all he wanted was to have his Janet back but the thought of her being in so pain was killing him. He managed to say, "When can I see her?"

"It will take a few hours in recovery and she is pretty sedated due to her injuries. I can't tell you exactly when she will be awake since we are going to keep her pretty medicated for the time being to help ease the pain of her injuries and the surgery itself but they should be moving her to a room in a few hours and monitoring her there. I will send a nurse out here to get you when she is situated in her room. For now, only you can visit her and very briefly as she needs to get her rest and the nurses will need to be able to monitor her pain level and react accordingly. In a few days, she should be in a better position and your friends can begin to visit at that time but don't overwhelm her…you need to be aware that what she experienced was very traumatic and she is probably going to have some issues when she starts to remember what happened to her." The doctor said more so to the group this time than rather just Eddie.

Eddie looked at the doctor and said, "What do you mean by that?"

"Janet was held hostage for a significant period of time and then shot as a result of that situation, that kind of stress can cause significant trauma symptoms. Sometimes we don't see that right away but the brain has to process all of that at some point and we see victims of such a crime tend to exhibit these symptoms over time. As long as she has support and you understand to give her the room she needs to go through what she needs to I think Janet will be fine in time." And with that the doctor turned and walked away.

Everyone kind of looked at one another like they were all trying to process what the doctor had just said. Hannah just started to cry silently as the tears fell from her eyes. Eddie's mind was racing as he had never thought about the impact this would have on her. He understood perhaps more than anyone the problems that can follow a trauma as he had those issues after the beating he took from Matt. He of course never talked to anyone about them and his mood was excused off based on his break up with Janet but he knew that the problems he was having wasn't entirely about the loss of Janet. In some way, he was the perfect person to help her through this situation because of his perceptive but he hated the fact that his Janet would suffer in any way. He knew there wasn't a pill or a simple cure to fix when your mind re lives a day in your life that you would just as soon forget. But right then and there he resolved that he would be there for Janet however and whenever she needed him to help her through this. Just as Eddie was about to say something to everyone the Chief of Police strolled right up to him.

"Are you Mr. Edward Latekka?" The Chief asked

"Yes I am, why?" Eddie asked not having any idea what he would want

"I just wanted to have a chance to talk to you. Do you have a minute?" The Chief asked.

"Ahh, yeah I guess but I can't go far because my fiance' just got out of surgery." Eddie said

"Janet is what I would like to talk to you about." He said

The entire group was looking at Eddie and wondering what was going on. They all just stood there waiting for Eddie to respond.

"Ok, well where would you like to talk?" Eddie asked looking at the Chief

"Would you mind just taking a walk with me, I promise we won't go far." The Chief said somewhat looking around at everyone.

"Sure" and with that Eddie and The Chief set off out the door.

They exited the door and began to walk down a long corridor that didn't seem to lead to anywhere but it wasn't very ridden full of people so it was perfect in the chief's eyes.

"What I wanted to talk to you about Eddie was Janet. I can not express enough how instrumental your fiancé was to the resolution of the hostage situation. In the face of the person she was dealing with she did an amazing job. I have had an opportunity to talk with the Grand Springs Chief and he tells me that she is quite an exceptional dispatcher as well." The Chief said.

"Yeah, actually she is." Eddie laughed a bit remembering when she unknowingly helped him during the car accident incident in Grand Springs.

"I am assuming though that you have a point as to why you are telling me all of this." Eddie asked.

"You are correct in your assumption young man. The Department feels badly for her injuries and feel somewhat responsible. She was talking with us on the phone and we coordinated the position that she put all the hostages in knowing that we were planning to take over the hostage situation so we could go in during the dark hours of the morning hoping the hostages would be out of harms way. We didn't anticipate Mr. Anderson firing his weapon. It appeared that Ms. Meadows knew him in one of their previous classes and it would appear that he did not have any intentions upon hurting her." The Chief said with a facial expression that indicated he was truly affected by her injury.

"So you set all of that up with her?" Eddie was trying to put the pieces together.

"Yeah, during our phone conversations she was so calm and not reactionary we felt that was our best opportunity to gain control over the situation. Statistics indicate that the longer the hostages are held the greater the opportunity for the shooter to start aiming fire at them then if you can gain control over the situation. He was demanding anything which gives us the indication that his hostage taking wasn't for gain but more of a retaliation of something. That is a much more dangerous situation for the hostages to be in. Janet was able to communicate little over the phone that Mr. Anderson could hear her but had no idea what was actually being said and the responses she gave were appropriate to what he thought she was talking about. It truly was one of the most amazing displays of calm and resolve in a situation of that magnitude. But knowing that she is dispatcher and a good one at that helped tremendously in understanding the necessity for calmness and truly is the reason why they all walked out alive, well except for the professor and that truly was a tragedy since he saved the life of one of his students." The Chief said.

"So I am still trying to understand why we are talking about this." Eddie asked again feeling like this is something he should be saying to Janet not him.

"Janet, once she has recovered from her injuries is going to be awarded with a metal and certificate of bravery in the face of peril, very similarly to ones that War Veterans receive in a combat situation although not quite the same. I also understand she is a student at the Duf going for her degree in Education. We would like Ms. Meadows to work in Law Enforcement perhaps in an education position training on how to perform the tasks that she did in that situation. Her attitude and preparedness is truly a gift and would be an asset to our department. It is a commitment and one initially that will take her to Washington for the official training program. I am here today to let you know about it so you can think about this endeavor as well since it would affect you too. This department could not be prouder of Janet and nothing would make me happier than to have her on board helping us to help others." The Chief said sincerely.

Eddie's mind was once again reeling which seemed like the hundredth time in the last two days that seemed to be happening. 'Go to Washington', 'be on the police force', 'help others just like her' – it was so much to take in.

"We fully intend on talking to Ms. Meadows much later in her recovery but please keep in mind as she recovers that this is a possibility for her and we are asking I guess for your support." The Chief said.

"I don't really know what to say to you right now. All I want is to have my fiancé back and for her to be alright and that she doesn't suffer too much I can't really think of anything else right now." Eddie said running his fingers through his hair.

"I understand that son but please think about it. At some point we will come to visit Janet and thank her our selves for her work and help on this day but the other thoughts will come much later after she is completely healed. Janet is one amazing young woman, you are a very lucky man, Mr. Latekka." The Chief said with a smile and shook Eddie's hand and walked away saying as he walked, "we'll be in touch" And with that he was gone.

Eddie walked back over to his friends and they all wanted to know what the Chief had said. Eddie couldn't fathom telling them everything so he said simply, "they want to honor Janet with a metal for bravery when she is better."

"WOW! That is amazing Eddie." Owen yelled

"Yeah that is pretty amazing but well deserved Eddie." Nick said

Hannah looked at Eddie and he looked distracted. She got the feeling that there was more to the story but she wasn't about to push Eddie right now he looked as though he was going to fall apart.

Suddenly as if Eddie could handle any more the doors swung open and a nurse walked through, "Mr. Latekka?" Eddie was beginning to hate that name.

"Yeah I am here" he said getting up and running to the nurse.

"They have just moved Ms. Meadows to a private room from recovery. You can go back and see her if you would like but she is probably not going to be conscious until tomorrow because the doctor has her highly medicated to control her pain." The nurse said.

"Please take me to her room ok?" Eddie said almost beginning.

Eddie turned quickly and said to the group, "Why don't you guys go home and get some rest ok. I will let you know if anything changes and she doesn't need to see a bunch of walking zombies when she does wake up." Eddie tried to kid but his heart really wasn't in it.

"Ok but if anything changes please call me." Hannah said.

"Give her our love ok." Owen said grabbing his wife's hand.

"I promise I will let her know you were all here and someone please help Phil." Eddie said and he looked past everyone to find Phil starting to freak out with the idea of going back outside.

"We'll do Eddie." Emily said and with that all the friends started to exit the hospital.

Eddie thought suddenly about Janet's grandparents and that he hadn't called them yet. He felt as though he should tell them but what would he say? Would they know about it already? He just couldn't think about that now…he had to focus on his Janet.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20:

Eddie slowly walked into the room that contained his fiance'. The nurse said "I'll be back in a little while so I can check her vitals." Eddie smiled briefly and walked over the chair that was already placed next to the bed. Janet lay there still and very pale. She had a number of tubes coming from her arms and her neck. She had an oxygen tube connected to her nose and many monitors beeping around her head. A slow tear fell down Eddie's check as he saw Janet lay there appearing somewhat lifeless on the bed. He had never seen her as bad as she was at this time. Her hands lay still on each of her sides and Eddie noticed that her engagement ring was not on her finger. Somehow this bothered him more than anything which seemed silly but he began to look madly in the drawers for her personal effects. The cabinet that was next to her bed, in the second drawer had a medium sized plastic bag which contained Janet's personal belongings. He slowly opened the bag as he sat down in the chair and found her engagement ring, the bracelet he had given her what seemed like many Christmas's ago and her clothing which now were stained with blood. Her purse was also sitting in the drawer in a separate bag. He pulled the ring out of the bag and starred at it. He smiled just slightly in the memory of when he asked her again to marry him with the ring this time. He thought it was somewhat funny that she thought the first time was just a dream but now he felt like he was trapped in a nightmare. 'How could any of this be happening to her…to us…we just found each other again and this had to happen' with these thoughts more tears began to fall. He grabbed Janet's left hand and placed the ring back on her left ring finger. He knew that she would be looking for it when she woke up.

As he placed the ring on her finger, her hands were cold but beginning to warm as she had been kept fairly cool in the recovery area. She seemed so lifeless and still. Eddie couldn't help but place the ring on her finger and kiss her hand. As the emotions of the last few days overwhelmed Eddie he simply sat in the chair next to Janet's bed, held her hands and slowly let the tears fall from his eyes. He felt so heart broken and scared and lost. He wished that she would open those beautiful blue eyes and smile at him but he knew that would not happen because of the surgery and the medication the doctor had talked about. He didn't want her to be in any pain so he was happy at least that she was resting comfortably.

As the hours passed the only movement was the nurses that would come and go checking monitors, refilling medications and taking Janet's vitals. They would smile at Eddie and work around him. They saw that he was holding her hand and they tried not to get in the way of that since they could see he needed to be close to her. One nurse noticed right away that he had put Janet's ring back on her finger as she was the nurse that brought Janet up from recovery along with her personal belongings. She commented, "Janet's ring is very beautiful." Eddie smiled and said softly, "not nearly as much as she is." The nurse smiled and left the room thinking "this is one lucky woman to have a man love her that much."

It was early in the morning and Eddie had spent the entire night at the hospital. He didn't want to leave Janet's side but he knew he would have to call her grandparents at some point. It was a call that he was dreading to make and wanted to be able to tell them something. He knew that they wouldn't be allowed to see her just yet and wondered if he should wait. He just couldn't focus on anything but her right now. Just then he got a text message from Hannah.

"How is she doing Eddie? Is she awake yet?" Hannah wrote

"No, not yet, she hasn't really moved a whole lot but she is breathing on her own." Eddie wrote

"That's good, right?" Hannah wrote

"I guess." Eddie wrote

"Are you ok, Eddie?" she responded

"I don't know Hannah. I want her to wake up. I want to see her smile. I want her to be ok." He wrote

"I know Eddie we all do. Have you called her grands?" she responded

"I was just thinking about that. I don't know what to say." He responded

"I'll call them Eddie. Just focus on our girl Ok?" she wrote

"Thanks Hannah." Eddie wrote.

"Let me know if she wakes up ok?" Hannah responded

"Ok." and with that Eddie put his phone away.

Several more hours passed and Janet was still in what appeared to be a deep sleep. Eddie noticed though that she was twitching a bit and he could see her eyes moving under her lids. The next time the nurse came in he asked her what was going on with Janet.

"Hey can you check somehow if she is in pain or something? She has been twitching and her eyes are moving around under there." Eddie asked the nurse

"No Eddie she isn't experiencing any pain. She is under a pretty heavy dosage of pain medications so she doesn't feel any of the pain that her body is experiencing but her subconscious may be reliving the incident. We sometimes see this in our trauma patients, like people who have been in car accidents and such." The nurse responded.

"oh." Is all Eddie said knowing that Janet was going to have a harder time than he thought if it was starting already.

"I know this is scary Eddie but she will be ok. She will make it through this. I heard what she did in that classroom and she has really been through a lot but she is definitely a fighter. You will be here to help her and that makes a huge difference." The nurse said smiling slightly

Eddie didn't respond he just looked at Janet and squeezed her hand. Suddenly the phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He answered it so quickly as if it were ringing out loud. It was Janet's grandma.

"Oh Eddie how is my Janey?" Grands said so sad and tearful

"Hi Edith, she is out of surgery and in a private room. She hasn't woken up yet from her surgery but they put her in like a medication coma to help control the pain from the surgery and the gun shot wound itself." Eddie said.

"Oh My Gosh, Eddie, my grand baby was shot. I just don't understand why anything like this could be happening." Edith continued to cry.

"I will call you back when she wakes up and let you know when you can come and see her. I'll even send someone to pick you up if you would like. I just can't leave her right now. I want to be here when she wakes up." Eddie said honestly.

"Oh, Eddie that would be great. You give my Janey a hug from us and we'll wait to hear from you when we can come down there. You take care of her Eddie." Edith said before hanging up the phone.

"I will Edith, I promise." Eddie hung up as well.

The nurse came in about an hour later and said they needed to change her sheets and wash her up a bit so she suggested that Eddie go get something to eat since he had been there all night and all day without really leaving. "Eddie I know you don't want to leave but you need to keep your strength up as well so when she is awake you can be with her. Just go get something to eat while we clean her up ok?"

"I guess I'll go and get a bite. I am just not hungry, ya know." Eddie said.

The nurse responded, "Yeah, I know but sometimes we need to override that stuff in our brain and do what is best not what we feel like."

"I know your right but what if she wakes up and I'm not here." He said clearly conflicted

"Eddie you can come back in like 15 minutes. She isn't going to wake up for a while due to the medication she is taking." The nurse said.

With that Eddie left. He returned about 20 minutes later after calling his friends and giving them an update on her condition. He did manage to eat a snickers bar and got a cup of coffee but nothing really tasted good to him at that point, but he knew they were right and he needed to be here for Janet.

Eddie sat there into the evening hours. He still held her hand but must have finally fallen asleep with his head resting on the edge of the bed next her hand. He wasn't sure how long he had dozed off for but he felt as though someone was behind him. He wasn't sure if he was dreaming or this was reality. That is when he felt someone touch his head. He felt finger tips in his hair and slowly raised his head to see those beautiful blue eyes looking at him. He no longer had her hand in his she had lifted her hand while he was sleeping and was slowly moving her fingers through his hair. She had been doing that for about 10 minutes but he was so contently sleeping it didn't register to him until just then.

"JANET! Oh My God, Janet, baby your awake." Eddie smiled so big and grabbed her hand once again.

Janet smiled at Eddie and really was trying to speak but she found it very difficult to do. Her throat was so dry and she felt like she had been run over by a truck.

Eddie leaned slowly and kissed his fiancé as gently as he could. It felt so good to have her lips on his again. She finally was warm and responsive and he could not be happier.

"Eddie…" she said softly

"Yes baby?" He said as tears formed in his eyes

"I think I got shot." She said somewhat confused

"Yes you did baby but you saved someone's life, in fact you saved all the students in the class." Eddie said gently stroking her hair out of her face.

"Everyone is ok? What about Seth?" she asked looking into Eddie's eyes

Eddie wasn't prepared for this question and didn't know what to say. He knew he should probably tell her the truth but he didn't think she would ask about him this early in her recovery.

"I'm sorry Janet…." He hesitated trying to figure out to say to her

"He's dead?" Janet asked beginning to tear up

"Yes baby he didn't make it but there wasn't anything they could do sweetie they needed to get you all out of there safely." Eddie said trying to calm her but really not wanting to tell her that Seth is the one who shot her even though Eddie knew it wasn't on purpose.

"I don't know why he did that Eddie. I knew he was having a bad day but I never thought he would do something like that." Janet said with tears streaming down her face, visibly shaking

"Sweetie, I think maybe we need to talk about this later. You just got out of surgery and I don't want you to be so upset ok." Eddie said trying to calm her he didn't want her to be in pain either physically or emotionally.

"I tried to help him Eddie, I did but he wouldn't talk to me." Janet said still crying and shaking

The nurse walked in and Eddie said, "she is awake but she is getting upset and shaking and I don't know why, can you help?"

The nurse walked over to Janet, "Hey Ms. Meadows, I am your night nurse Samantha. Are you in any pain right now?"

"I don't know…I don't think so I just can't believe he is dead." Janet said tears still streaming

"Ok sweetie, let me let the doctor know that you are awake. I am sure that he is going to want to check you out. I'll be right back." The nurse said before exiting the room.

The doctor walked through the door 10 minutes later and walked right up to the left side of Janet's bed, "Well it is nice to meet you Ms. Meadows. I am your Doctor and I performed your surgery yesterday. We needed to repair wounds from a gun shot you sustained to your lung area so you may have some difficulties in breathing for a few days. Just try and keep your breaths slow and shallow for the time being while the area heals. If you have a hard time we can help you breath. Also, you had damage to your spleen and stomach so we removed your spleen and part of your stomach. The spleen you may not miss but eating will be a challenge for a while until your stomach heals. We won't know exactly how your stomach will react so you may need a feeding tube but that won't be determined until you feel hungry. When you do eat you will need to eat small portions and several times a day until your stomach fully heals. Once it does you can increase your portions and the stomach will operate as normal. You might see some weight loss in the process but it should catch up eventually. Do you have any questions?" the doctor looked at Janet

She was struggling with the entire conversation and taking in all that he said. She barely remembers being shot or coming to the hospital. It felt like a dream that faded in and out. The only thing she remembers fully was the police signaling that they were there and she immediately covered the students in the room knowing that the possibility was there for gun fire. She remembers a sharp pain in her side and some lights in the ceiling and then waking up to Eddie sleeping on her bed.

"Ok, how long will I have to be here?" She asked acknowledging that Eddie is now holding onto her hand tightly and standing by her bedside.

"At least a few weeks, we have to monitor for any complications and we will do our best to manage your pain. You are on a lot of pain medications to help with the pain from the surgery and all the damage that was caused but Ms. Meadows you are a lucky girl because you didn't have any permanent damage to anything else. It was all repairable." The doctor said rubbing her forearm slightly.

Janet smiled a little in hearing that she will heal. She felt so overwhelmed and didn't know what to do or say or think. She was just happy that Eddie was there by her side.

Eddie saw Janet's expression and knew she was trying to understand everything that the doctor said. "Thanks Doc…" he said shaking the doctors hand before the doctor exited the room.

Janet looked up at Eddie and he looked down at her. He once again gently pressed his lips to hers for a brief kiss. He could tell by her expression she was totally overwhelmed by what the doctor had said.

"We are going to get through this baby I promise you and I will be here every step of the way. I am so proud of you and what you did for all those kids in that classroom, Janet. You are one amazing woman." Eddie said now sitting in his chair, holding her hand and stroking her hair once again.

"I don't feel amazing Eddie. Why did this happen? Why did he hurt so many people?" She asked with tears once again in her eyes.

"I don't know Janet, I don't know but I do know that because of you so many people will still have their loved ones in their life and I still have you in mine and for that I am entirely grateful. I love you so much Janet and I can't imagine what my life would have been life if he would have taken you from me." Eddie said becoming a bit overwhelmed himself.

"I love you too Eddie. Your not getting rid of me that easily." She said trying to joke a bit but winced when she tried to laugh.

"Not a chance baby…are you in pain baby?" Eddie asked

"Yeah it hurts to laugh." She said.

Eddie pushed the button and the nurse came into the room minutes later. "She said she is experiencing some pain." He said.

"How are you feeling Janet? Are you in a little pain now" The nurse now asked Janet

She just nodded her head. "Ok then lets give you something. It is going to make you a little sleepy ok." The nurse said as she began to put the syringe in the IV.

Janet simply looked at Eddie and squeezed his hand until the medication took affect and she slowly drifted off to sleep and eased her grip on his hand. "There that should make her more comfortable." The nurse said smiling at Eddie and leaving the room.

Eddie looked into Janet's eyes until they were closed but he held onto her hand still. He put his head on the bed next to her hand and the tears returned full force. He hated to see his Janet in this amount of pain. In that moment he knew that the scars would be much deeper than the physical ones and his Janet would never be the same as the one he said goodbye to before work only days before. This Janet would need him to be much more than Hail Eddie ever was or could be, she needed her Eddie, the man sitting before her with strength to help her up when she was unable to herself and be her rock when she began to crumble. Of all the storms they weathered in their relationship this would be the worst and most tumultuous but Eddie was determined to get her through this, get them both through this regardless of what it took because this was what Eddie committed to 'for better or for worse' and if he ever had the opportunity to prove to Janet how serious he was about building a life with her now was the time to show her exactly how committed he was. No matter what the future held, Eddie would be there and help Janet get to the calm, serene sunrise on the other side of the storm, that much he was certain – it was how they got there that scared him to death.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21:

Eddie fell asleep right where his head rested hours earlier and he awoke to fingers gently running through his hair.

Janet woke up in the early hours of the morning and found Eddie sleeping, looking rather uncomfortable, on her bedside with his head on her bed and the rest of his body in the chair. His hand firmly entwined with her fingers and his other hand resting on her legs. She smiled knowing that his neck was not going to be happy with that position when he awoke but she was so grateful that he was there. He was always there. She slowly picked up her other hand and began to run her fingers through his hair as he slept next to her. She had missed him so much through all of this. She never dreamed that her life would take this turn. As her thoughts slowly started to go back to that day tears began to fill her eyes and fall down her cheeks. The events of that day would be forever embedded in her memory and the sounds and pain she feared would be embedded as well. She remembered talking to Seth that morning and realizing that something was wrong but how could things have been so wrong with him that he would do such a thing. How could he hurt so many innocent people, how could he hurt her? She had always tried to be nice to him. She never thought anything like this would ever happen in the Ridge. 'Things like this just don't happen in the Ridge', she thought. As she laid there running her fingers through Eddie's hair the questions began to form. She felt so close to him in that moment but yet so far away. She feared that she wouldn't heal from the events of that day and how would he understand what she was going through. How would she explain all the things that were going on in her head? How would she ever get him to understand? Could she tell him everything that happened on that day? Would they be able to get through it all? So many thoughts, it was all so overwhelming.

She began to register the pain she was feeling both on the outside as well on the inside but she didn't want Eddie to know how bad it really was. Every part of her body was in pain including the fingers that gingering ran through his hair. She needed to get herself under control before he woke because she knew he would be so upset if he saw the pain she was experiencing. She just couldn't do that to him…he had been so great through all of this. Always there for her, always at her bed side or when she called out his name. She realized at that moment that he had been in the same clothes that she remembered from days earlier. She wanted him to go home and get some good rest and not this 'sleep on the edge of my bed' rest and be able to take a shower and eat because she was pretty sure he hadn't eaten anything. Eddie typically didn't eat when he was stressed or upset and she was sure he was both at this point. Suddenly she started to feel him moving.

Eddie was having this amazing dream. It felt so real. He was with Janet and they were in a horse drawn wagon with a blanket on their laps and Janet was running her fingers through his hair as they laughed and talked and kissed. He had never felt so happy as he felt in that moment. He felt so close to her and couldn't wait until the day when they could exchange their vows and become husband and wife. He smiled at her and she looked up at him with this total and complete look of love in her eyes, when suddenly she was ripped out of the wagon. He reached for her and she was just gone. He woke with a sudden jolt as he reached for her but she was beyond his reach.

"Eddie, sweetie, it's me, it's Janet….Eddie!" Janet was trying to wake him up the rest of the way because he looked as though he was having a nightmare but the way his face was contorting.

"Babe…it's just a dream, please Eddie wake up!" Janet said louder trying to move but she was in such pain that she flinched

Eddie raised his head up so quickly and he immediately screamed Janet's name.

"Eddie, babe I'm right here." Janet said trying to sooth him

When Eddie realized that Janet was right in front of him he relaxed a bit but then he saw her face and the pain was written all over it.

"Janet, babe I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" he asked

"No Eddie you didn't, did you have a nightmare or something?" Janet looked at him concerned

"Yeah, I guess it was. It felt so real. I could feel your fingers in my hair." He said looking at her hand and kissing it…he was still holding onto the hand that had been in his grasp all night.

"I actually was running my fingers through your hair…for a few hours actually." Janet looked at him and smiled.

Eddie smiled for the first time in days and felt more content than he had since this real night mare started.

"I love it when you do that. How are you feeling right now Janet?" He said getting a bit more serious

"I am ok Eddie." Janet said looking down, not wanting to lie but she didn't want him to worry any more

"Janet I can see the pain on your face. Please don't lie to me." Eddie said somewhat agitated

Janet looked at him and said signing, "I don't mean to lie to you Eddie but I just don't want you to worry about me."

"Janet I am going to be here with you and I am going to worry about you and I am going to take care of you, will you please let me take care of you?" Eddie said looking Janet in the eye.

Janet just looked at Eddie as the tears fell from her eyes. She wanted so much for him to take the pain away and make everything better but she knew he couldn't. He couldn't erase what happened to her and he couldn't help her heal, not really. Some of this journey she would need to take on her own and she didn't know how to tell him that.

Eddie sensing something was wrong, "Janet please don't do this. Don't shut me out. I know that you are going to go through some things but I am not going anywhere…don't push me away from you…I won't be able to deal with that, Janet…please!" He was almost begging her.

"I love you Eddie…so much…please know that…but this isn't about you and it can't be. I need to deal with what happened on my own first before I can get you to understand what happened to me…you can't take that away from me, Eddie so please, just be with me and let me do what I need to do for me…I won't push you away but you need to let go a little…just for now." Janet said hoping he understood what she was saying.

"I don't know if I can. I love you so much, Janet. I have almost lost you twice and I don't know if I can let go not even a little…" Eddie said with tears filling his eyes.

Janet and Eddie just looked at each other with tears in their eyes, both in so much pain because each of them wanting to help the other but not knowing what or how to do it. There was no easy answer so for now they needed to just let it all go and just be there with each other. For now it would have to be enough.

They sat in silence for the first time since Janet woke up, holding hands but blankly staring out the window. Eddie was so frustrated because he felt like Janet was trying to push him away and he was afraid. He was so afraid that this would cause a distance between them that they would not be able to gap. He was afraid for the first time that Janet was really out of his reach. Janet was sad because she wanted to let Eddie in but didn't know how to communicate what was inside of her. She herself didn't understand all the thoughts and feelings so how could she possibly make him understand. She loved Eddie so much and could not imagine her life without him but was her life ever going to be the same as it was and would her relationship with Eddie be able to survive this trauma. She felt so far away from him even though his fingers were entwined with hers. She thought, 'this isn't fair to him to keep him in the dark but if he knew the truth he would be angry and she couldn't handle this affecting him too…not the way it was her.' 'For now, this is how it has to be…if we love each other, she thought, we'll get through it. We have too.'

Hours passed and Janet was an extreme amount of pain, both emotionally and physically, at this point even breathing hurt. She tried to hide the extremity of it but she no longer could.

"Eddie" she said almost in a whisper

"Yeah babe" he said almost jumping at her voice

"Could you get me a nurse please, I hurt" she said so quietly as the tears formed in her eyes

"Ok, babe, hold on I'll get the nurse." Eddie said before he finally let go of her hand and went into the hallway.

Janet lay there with every fiber of her being in pain so she closed her eyes…however in that darkness she could see the fear on the faces on her fellow students and the pain on Seth's face. She could see the fear and pain combined on Eddie's face and hated to know that she was the cause of it. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her but she just could not tolerate the interaction right now. She wished that she never had been put in the position she had that day, how was she going to live with herself when she is responsible for Seth's demise. How would she live with the memory of how the police chief planned his execution right in front of her and all she could do was agree and nod and follow his instructions looking Seth in the eyes knowing he had no idea of her betrayal. It was all too much for her to understand. Janet suddenly began to shake.

The nurse came into the room with Eddie on her heels and saw Janet visibly shaking. The nurse hit the button on the wall and Eddie's face drained to white. He could see Janet convulsing on the bed. The nurse went over to Janet's bed side and checked the monitors which were beeping out of control. The team arrived moments later and Eddie was ushered out of the room. He leaned against the wall just outside of her room and listened as the team of doctors and nurses tried to stop the convulsing and figure out what happened. His mind began to reel once again and wondered if he was ever going to wake up from this hell he was living in. 'What is going on here? Why won't she talk to me? Why won't she let me help her? What happened after I left the room? Am I ever going to get Janet back? Why is this happening to us?" all these thoughts running through his head. Suddenly the door flew open and they were taking Janet out of the room on her bed and rushing down the hall. One doctor held back momentarily to let Eddie know that they were rushing Janet into surgery once again because it appeared that she was septic and they needed to get the infection under control before it was too late. With that he was gone leaving Eddie alone to understand and make sense of what he just said, "before it's too late" what does that mean?

Eddie slowly slid down the wall in the hallway to the floor and sat there with his head in his hands. He felt like he had been there for days and days but really it was only minutes when a familiar voice said, "hey buddy I thought you might need some coffee." Eddie looked up and saw Owen staring back at him. Owen didn't have any coffee in his hands. Eddie slowly got up off the floor and for a moment looked at his friend and even though Eddie was not a hugging type of person in particularly with his buddies, today was a much different day. The two friends embraced and Eddie began to cry uncontrollably. Owen held his friend and took in his pain, anger, frustration, sadness and grief. Owen knew that in that moment that perhaps for the first time Eddie was the one who needed his friends and not the other way around. This time Eddie wasn't the strongest, or the toughest or even the champion of the football field. In this moment Eddie was just a man, deeply in love and deeply hurt by this tragedy…just another casualty in this tragic event that had affected so many lives, stolen some others and rocked this small town to its very core.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22:

Owen had finally convinced Eddie to leave the hospital while Janet was in surgery. Eddie looked horrible and hadn't eaten for at least 24 hours maybe more. Eddie didn't want to but the nurses were really the ones who were able to convince him to go. Eddie stopped at the nurses station and they told him that Janet would be in surgery for several hours and with the recovery room and the medication they told him to go home and get some rest as they could see the same things as Owen. Eddie made sure the nurses put his cell phone number in the chart so if anything changed they would call him immediately. Reluctantly Eddie left the hospital with Owen.

They arrived at Owen's house and Eddie asked if he could take a shower, Owen said, "go on up". Allison asked Owen, "How is he doing? He doesn't look well."

"Not good. Janet was septic so they had to take her back into surgery but that isn't the worst of it. He feels like she is pulling away from him because of all of this. She must have said something to him that he needs to 'let go a little' and he is not handling it well." Owen said

"Well she has been through such a trauma Owen maybe she just needs some time to process all that happened. We have no idea what happened in that classroom or what was said and maybe she is just trying to come to terms with all that happened. I have read about people who experience 'survivor's guilt' in a traumatic situation maybe that is what is happening to her. I don't know all we can do is be there for both of them." Allison said embracing Owen in a hug.

Owen smiled in that moment realizing just how far they have come and knew she was right. He thought 'Eddie isn't the best with expressing his feelings but I guess I'll just have to be there when he does.'

"You're right Allison but it isn't going to be as easy as you make it sound." Owen said returning her hug

Eddie got into the shower and turned the water on. He let the warm water run onto his hair and run down the rest of his body. He closed his eyes and all he saw was her, her smile, her hair, her eyes when they were looking at him, her skin…all the moments in their relationship both good and bad. The memories were just flooding through his mind. He could not imagine his life without her but she wanted him to let go a little. He didn't even know what that meant. How could she ask him to let her go, even a little bit? He thought this is when she needed him the most but she was pulling away from him he could feel that. He was so confused and angry and frustrated and sad all at the same time he didn't know what to do. Just then he took a step back and looked up towards the ceiling, 'Please tell me what I need to do to help her…give me the strength to do what I need to do for her so she heals and comes back to me…I can't lose her again I just can't so please just tell me what I need to do…please'. Eddie had this silent conversation with God and finally began to clean himself and wash his hair. He got out of the shower and looked at himself in the mirror and said openly, "you do look like crap!" This made him smile and chuckle a bit for the first time in nearly a week.

Eddie came downstairs and Owen and Allison were in the kitchen moving around each other getting a meal on the table. It was simple but smelled absolutely amazing to Eddie. In that moment he realized that he really hadn't eaten anything in quite a while and just then his stomach begins to growl loudly. Both Allison and Owen stop and look at Eddie, "wow someone is hungry" Allison says smiling

"Yeah I guess so" Eddie says rubbing his stomach slightly.

They all sit down and eat. Owen's kids are talking non stop and Eddie is simply looking around at Owen's family. 'This is what I want, right here' Eddie thought.

After dinner was through and everyone had pitched in to help clean up the kitchen, Owen and Eddie went out on the deck. They sat and had a few beers and just relaxed. Eddie stared blankly out in Owen's yard which was full of trees and a play ground set. He wasn't really looking at anything just once again lost in thought.

"Ya know Eddie, you just need to give her some time to heal. You know as well as I do that some scars aren't so visible on your body sometimes you can't see them at all." Owen said as he took a drink of his beer.

Eddie thought back to the beat down and the days in the hospital when he felt so helpless and weak. Then as he healed he remembered feeling vulnerable, more so then he ever had. Eddie had always been able to hold his own and got into plenty of fights but this was the first one that he wasn't sure if he would survive if it hadn't been for Ikey coming there. It was the first time he felt scared and that feeling didn't really go away just because the bruises healed. Perhaps it wasn't as present in his mind at the time because his heart was broken over the loss of Janet and the anger that he felt by what she and Rooster had done. But the truth was he still struggles a bit with those feelings although he tries not to think about them. Perhaps he was starting to get a better understanding of what Janet was going through and maybe he could give her the space she needed to work through those things but he still needed to be close to her.

"I get what you are saying Owen, but I feel like I need to be physically close to her…protect her somehow…I know it sounds stupid but I wasn't there when this all happened and I need to be now, I guess" Eddie said distantly.

"You know that this isn't your fault Eddie. There is nothing you could have done to stop this or known that this would even happen…you know that right?" Owen asked looking at Eddie.

"Yeah I know that Owen but that doesn't take away from feeling like I need to be there now…to keep her safe…I need her to know that I am here and she can depend on me being there." Eddie said starting to get agitated.

Owen thought for a second, 'there is something else here going on.' "Eddie, she knows you are here for her, why would you think she doesn't?" he asked

"Owen, there have been times in our relationship that I haven't been…I've been confused and pushed her away…like when Rory came back for instance…look what happened then…we just got back together and I am not letting anything ruin our relationship now Owen…NOTHING!." He said as he got up and walked off the deck and into the back yard.

Owen sat back in his chair as the light went off in his mind, 'he see's this as the opportunity to right a wrong from before when they were together. He is scared of losing her and so he will stay planted there'

Owen just sat there and watched Eddie walked around the back yard as he knew that Eddie needed time to work all of this out in his head.

Eddie returned to his chair about 20 minutes later. He sat down silently. Owen asked, "hey you need another one?" Eddie nodded and Owen disappeared into the house.

Eddie phone rang and he nearly jumped to get it. "Hello?"

"Mr. Latekka?" the nurse asked

"Yes, is Janet ok?" Eddie said nervously.

"Yes, Mr. Latekka she is. I am just calling to let you know that she is out of surgery and that they were able to get the infection under control. She will be on some heavy antibiotics but they removed a good portion of the bad infection surgically. She is in recovery and stable at this time. The doctor will once again be putting her under some heavy pain medications so she will be sleeping well into tomorrow."

"Ok, thank you so much for calling. I will be there tomorrow morning then." Eddie said truly reliefed

"You're welcome, Mr. Latekka. If anything changes we will give you a call, ok?" she said.

"Thanks, I appreciate it." Eddie said just before closing his phone shut.

Owen walked back out onto the deck as he was talking to the nurse.

"So everything is ok with Janet?" he asked

"Yeah she just got out of surgery and they were able to get most of the infection out surgically. Now she will be on heavy duty antibiotics and pain meds to control the aftermath." Eddie replied

"Well that is great news, Ed." Owen said handing him his beer.

"Yeah, it is. Hey I'm sorry about before I don't mean to take any of this out on you." Eddie said looking at Owen now.

"No worries man. I know this is big stuff just remember you can talk to me anytime and it'll stay in the vault ok." Owen said

With that the two friends sat back in their chairs and stared in to the evening enjoying the moment of peace that they were both experiencing.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23:

Eddie decided to go home and try to get some sleep in his own bed. It felt so strange when he walked into the foyer and then the kitchen as it was scattered with traces of Janet, her books from her other classes and her shoes on the floor. Her clothes scattered around the bedroom – Janet always was running late and tended to leave the clothes that she looked through to find what she wanted on the bed…one would think since she was such a neat freak she wouldn't be so messy when it came to her clothes but that was his Janet – a complete contradiction. Eddie slowly walked in to the bedroom and sat on their bed. He gently began to pick up all of her shirts and stack them up and laid them on the dresser. He mindlessly removed his clothing down to his boxers and climbed into bed on his side. He grabbed her pillow and brought it up to his face. He began to take deep breaths and smell the pillow. It still smelled like Janet. She would often come home from her dispatcher job and shower so her pillow almost always smelled like her shampoo. Eddie closed his eyes and he felt a sense of her there. He hugged the pillow tighter and soon he was sound asleep, he hadn't slept well in the last week and his body relaxed just enough being surrounded by her that he was able to give in to the exhaustion.

He woke the next morning or in reality was early afternoon…he nearly broke his neck when he realized how late he had slept. He got out of bed quickly and ran into the bathroom to take a shower. On his way, he grabbed his phone but there were no calls. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not but soon he would be at the hospital and maybe then she would be awake again.

Janet lay in her bed. She was still sleeping from the surgery and wasn't really even aware that another surgery would need to be performed. She began to stir a bit but was having a hard time opening her eyes. She began to see the classroom again and the students, she saw Seth and the professor. She began to thrash a bit in her bed which was causing the monitors to beep somewhat. The nurse came in to check on her and observed her thrashing about and trying to get her to calm. She kept repeating, "Janet, this is Sarah, I'm your nurse here at Knight's Ridge General, Janet can you open your eyes sweetie you are safe, please Janet open your eyes for me."

Janet could hear the nurse speaking but she was having such a hard time getting away from the images in her mind. She tried to open her eyes so hard but nothing would distract her mind from the events of that faithful day. The nurse realizing that she wasn't waking up and still thrashing, she pushed her assistance button. When the other nurse came in and saw Sarah holding down Ms. Meadows by each arm she said, "What would you like me to do?"

"Can you please call Dr. Rane and see if she can come and speak with Ms. Meadows when she wakes up? I think Janet is experiencing nightmares and perhaps some post traumatic stress maybe from the hostage situation. If she doesn't address this I am afraid she is going to injure herself with all this restlessness and her surgical scars." Sarah said.

"Ok, I'll page her and I'll go see if Ms. Meadow's doctor is here yet." The nurse said before leaving the room

Sarah kept talking to Janet softly and trying to get her to open her eyes, the thrashing seems to start to decrease and Sarah could see her eyes weren't moving underneath her lids as much as they were. Just then Eddie walked into the room.

His eyes got bigger and he said, "What happened? What is going on here?"

"She appears to be having some sort of nightmares or something. She was thrashing around in her bed and I was worried that she may injure the surgical area so I have been trying to get her to open her eyes but she seems to be settling now. I have called in Dr. Rane. She is the hospitals psychiatrist that evaluates our patients to see if they need clinical services. Ms. Meadows endured a fairly significant trauma and she may need help in dealing with it." Sarah said as she began to ease the pressure on Janet's arms to the point of letting go completely of Janet's arms.

"Oh I see. Well whatever she needs… I can take it from here though." He said walking over to Janet's bedside and kissing her on the forehead.

"Ok, Mr. Latekka, let me know if she needs anything. I am here all day." Sarah said as she started to walk out of the room.

"You can call me Eddie." Eddie said smiling slightly.

"Ok, Eddie." Sarah said as she walked out the door.

Janet's doctor walked in shortly after Sarah left. "So how is our patient doing here? I hear she is having some rough nightmares or something?" Dr. Dillion asked.

"Yeah apparently to Sarah, that nurse that just left, Janet was thrashing around but she still isn't awake from yesterday." Eddie said.

"Well that is too be expected, Eddie. We gave her some medications to keep her sedated for the purpose of pain management but that isn't going to stop her from dreaming. It is pretty common in trauma victims to have this response. Dr. Rane is an excellent psychiatrist and I am sure she will be able to help Ms. Meadows with her PTSD." Dr. Dillion said matter of factly.

"I hope so." Eddie replied

Dr. Dillion could sense Eddie's sadness and he said, "Don't worry Mr. Latekka, we are going to take very good care of Ms. Meadows here. Her injuries will eventually heal, both on the outside and in the inside, it will just take some time." He said patting Eddie on the shoulders before exiting Janet's room.

Eddie took his spot on the chair and grabbed Janet's hand and held it tightly. This time her engagement ring remained on her finger. It made him smile knowing that either they forgot it was on her finger or the nurses put it back on her finger. Somehow it was important to Eddie that it was on her finger. He knew that this was going to be a long recovery process and that ring held their connection and commitment to each other to get through it together. He understood now why Janet wanted him to let go a little. He was hoping that Dr. Rane would be able to help Janet in a way that he wasn't able too.

Hours passed and Eddie sat there staring at Janet. He loved the way her face seemed so peaceful even though she continued to have episodes of movements that looked like she was dreaming or something. Eddie would rub her arm and talk to her quietly and reassure her that she was in the hospital and she was safe and she seemed to react every time. It killed him that she was suffering so much but he was doing what he could to help her.

Janet started to move again and Eddie leaned forward in his chair and immediately started rubbing her arm but this time was different because her eyes looked like they were starting to open. Eddie stood and was at her head within moments. He began to run his hand over her forehead into her hair. Her head was moving a bit side to side and her eyes were fluttering. She was finally able to open her eyes and she focused on Eddie right away. Her reaction was one that Eddie did not expect.

Janet opened her eyes and saw Eddie smiling at her stroking her hair off her forehead. There was something so reassuring about his presence for her and she was feeling an increasing sense of fear as the days progressed. Before she could really think about it, she reached out her hand and placed it on Eddie's face and said albeit quiet, "Eddie, please don't leave me." She said with tears in her eyes.

Eddie looked at her a bit stunned, "Hey babe I'm right here I'm not going anywhere. I love you Janet. We are going to get through this ok." He said before he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. He could feel her trembling.

"I love you too Eddie." She said tears falling briefly from her eyes down the sides of her cheeks.

"Do you remember what happened yesterday?" Eddie asked, beginning to sweep her hair out of her face with his fingers.

She just shook her head no. "Did something happen?" she asked

"Do you remember when you asked me to get the nurse because you were in pain?" Eddie asked

"Kind of…I don't remember much other than being in this bed and I couldn't move without severe pain and I woke up here now…what happened?" she asked looking frightened.

"You were fighting an infection, a pretty bad one and they needed to help you get that infection out of your body as quick as possible so you had another surgery and once you were out of recovery they gave you heavy dosages of antibiotics and pain medication to help you sleep." He said inches from her face.

"I don't remember that Eddie? I just don't feel well." She said

"I know babe but you will in time and I will be here, ok, so don't be scared." He said

"Eddie, am I ever going to get over this? Am I ever going to be ok again?" she said quietly

Eddie's heart broke as he looked in to her eyes. He could see the fear on her face for the first time since this all started. He wanted to make it all go away but he knew that it would get worse before it got better but he had to be strong for her so he said, "Yes you are Janet. I know that you are hurting right now but you need to remember that what happened in that classroom whatever that was, was NOT your fault and it was you that saved those students from Seth. There was something very wrong with Seth, Janet, and he made a very bad choice that day but that didn't have anything to do with you, you helped to bring his pain to a close and kept everyone calm and more importantly safe. Janet you were wounded protecting three students. They are alive because of what you did that day, I am so proud of you Janet, your strength and courage in the face of such tragedy and commotion. I am so happy Janet that you are in my life and that we have this whole future to look forward too. It doesn't matter what we need to do, we'll get there, I promise." He said looking into her eyes.

Janet listened to every word he said. She couldn't believe how supportive he was being and how much she needed to hear what he was saying. She knew it wasn't going to be that simple but she knew with him by her side she would make it through whatever this was that she was feeling.

Janet smiled at Eddie as best as she could through the pain she was feeling both physically and emotionally. She said, "I can't tell you how much I love you right now Eddie and how much I need you …thank you for being by my side regardless of what I said before. You're right, we are in this together and I need to start telling you what is going on in my head, even the bad stuff. I swear I would marry you right here right now if I could. I feel so safe right now." She said closing her eyes.

Those words washed over Eddie like the water in his shower the night before. All the things he needed to hear from her he did and now he was certain that they would make it through this together and stronger than before but her words "I'd marry you right now if I could" were repeating in his mind. He could see that she was tired and thought maybe she should rest some.

"Hey babe why don't you rest and I'll just be here when you wake up ok?" He said as he took her hand once again in his.

"Ok, I am feeling tired right now." Was all she was able to say before her eyes closed and she slipped into a deep sleep.

Eddie pulled out his cell phone and called Hannah.

"Hey Hannah!" He said

"How is Janet?" she asked somewhat frantically.

"She is in some pain. She was septic yesterday and had to have another emergency surgery but today she seemed to be on target but she is resting now." He said.

"That is good to hear Eddie." She said sensing he had something else on his mind. "That wasn't the only reason you called was it." She asked

"Actually no it wasn't…I have been thinking about something that Janet said and I have a proposition for you and maybe a little favor too…what do ya say?" he said.

"Well I don't know but if it has to do with Janet, I'm in." she said with a smile.

"How would you like to help me plan a wedding?" Eddie said smiling.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24:

Weeks later….

Janet was lying in her bed getting very anxious to start moving around. Her pain was slowly getting less and less every day and she was growing more and more restless to get out of her bed. The doctors really wanted to take it slow with her recovery especially due to her infection so they limited her movement to going to the bathroom and going to the bathroom to shower but even then she needed help. She never had envisioned Eddie being her "nursemaid" but he was right there to help her in the shower. He washed her hair and helped her remain stable while she cleaned herself up. Her legs were getting stronger but she still wasn't 100% so she couldn't totally stand on her own for long periods of time or even for a shower. She had finally convinced Eddie to go back to work after about a week. She knew they needed some sort of normalcy and he was as always being stubborn about leaving her. Janet said to him one day, "You need to go back to work Eddie…you can sit here and stare at me all day…I need to sleep and it's hard to do that knowing you are here." Eddie reluctantly agreed with the exceptions of coming in the mornings to help her with her showers and having dinner with her in the evening. Janet realized that she wouldn't have been able to get through this whole tragedy without him and his support. She decided that when they let her go home she would talk to Eddie about their wedding. She realized that it was important and that she needed to make it a priority but you just don't know what life will bring. Janet was waiting for the physical therapist to come in.

"Hey Janet, are you ready to go for a walk?" her PT Erin said very chipper

"Ready as I'll ever be." Janet said.

"Ok, let's take this slow…first we will get you out of bed and take some steps in your room" Erin said grabbing Janet's arm and helping her get out of bed and her feet on the floor.

Janet moved slowly. She was prepared having gotten dressed after her shower today in her sweats for her walk. She paused a moment and thought back to the morning when Eddie helped her in the shower as he did every morning and she said, "I want my sweats today Eddie." "Are you sure Janet?" Eddie asked. "Yeah, I am supposed to be walking around this morning with Erin and I am not doing that in a robe or gown or any of that nonsense." She said matter of factly

"Oh, you're walking today huh? Did they say any more about when he could possibly go home?" He asked.

"Erin said that in order for me to go home I have to be able to walk around the floor without help and be able to shower on my own with little pain." She said smiling

"Well you have been doing better in the showers Janet. I have hardly had to step in but I do kinda like washing your hair." He said and then said more quietly "but don't tell the guys that." He laughed a bit.

"Your secret is safe Latekka, but I should start to do that on my own so I can go home." She said smiling once again.

"You do whatever you need to do to get yourself better because there is nothing more that I want than to bring you home." Eddie said leaning in and kissing her softly.

"I know Eddie I am trying…I want to go home so badly. I have had enough of hospitals for a while." She said sighing.

Janet snapped out of her memory of the morning with Eddie and was now focused on her current task which was to walk.

Janet thought "there was a time when I didn't even think about walking down a hallway, I would run around the bar for hours and now I don't know if I'll make it around the corner."

"Ok Janet, lets just take it one step at a time…this isn't a sprint, we just need to get your muscles engaged again and start to build them up again." Erin said

Janet and Erin walked down the hallway and although Janet was experiencing pain she didn't say anything. She kept focused on her goal. She only wobbled once but her dizziness that she experienced the first few times she tried to walk longer than to the bathroom was almost totally gone. Janet smiled at all the nurses that said 'hi' to her and continued down the hall ready for the turn.

"How are we doing here Janet? Do you want to go farther? How is your pain right now and be honest?" Erin said looking at Janet's face. She could always tell by her face whether she was in pain or not even though Janet almost always said "I'm fine."

"I'm in a little pain but I don't feel dizzy at all. I would like to keep going." Janet said knowing that Erin could tell so she was being honest

"Ok that is good Janet that the dizziness is gone but how bad is the pain on a scale from 1 – 10 – 10 being the worst." She asked

Janet thought for a second, "it's at about a 5 but I can manage." She said.

"5 ok we can work with 5, let's keep going then." Erin said with a smile

In a matter of 45 minutes Janet and Erin managed to walk the entire floor. Janet was so tired when she got back to her room though. As soon as Janet got back in bed she immediately closed her eyes and was out cold. It was a lot for her to walk that far after everything that has happened. The next thing she is waking up to a room full of people.

"Hey Janet!" Sam yelled when they saw her open her eyes

"Hey buddy what are you doing here?" she asked as she looked at all the people in her room. It was Sam, Hannah, Owen, Allison, Emily and Phil and of course Eddie. She thought she was dreaming at first because Phil was standing there next to Emily clinging to her like he would fall over if she moved.

"We came to see you but you were sleeping so we just sat here but you are awake now…can I give you a hug?" Sam asked

"Of course you can Sam." Janet said smiling. Everyone seemed to be holding their breaths while he hugged her afraid of him squeezing too tightly or something. Janet could see their faces and she laughed

"I'm not going to break everyone you can stop worrying now." She said looking at all the grim faces. The proverbial elephant was in the middle of the room. No one was really able to see Janet except Eddie but the doctor recently ok'd more people to visit now that Janet's infection was totally gone and she was healing and getting stronger everyday.

"We're sorry Janet it's just that we haven't been able to see you and we have been worrying about you after the shooting. How are you doing? Really doing?" Hannah asked somewhat on behalf of everyone.

"I am doing better. I am the same ol' Janet I am just a little lighter now." She said trying to joke. But seeing that it wasn't going over very well she continued, "guys please don't be freaked out or anything. I know it is hard to understand but I am truly fine. I am seeing a doctor and she is helping me to work through the shooting and Eddie has been great taking such good care of me, please stop worrying, ok?" she said looking at Eddie

Eddie smiled at Janet, he loved her and knew that their friends would eventually be ok but they were so scared for her when all of this was happening; there was just no way that she could possibly understand that. "ahhh stop you are making me blush." Eddie said and got up and went and kissed Janet.

Everyone saw the interaction and realized that they didn't have to 'hold their breath' anymore, she was going to be ok. They all slowly approached Janet and one by one hugged her. The tears flowed but the smiles were plenty and for a small amount of time everything was as it should be, if even for a moment.

Two weeks went by and Janet grew stronger and stronger. She was walking more often and was able to walk with little to no pain. It had been nearly 3 months since the shooting and she was just about ready to go home. The doctor was meeting with her in the afternoon to talk about maybe going home today.

"I wish that doctor would just get in here already." Janet said nervously to Eddie

"I don't know that I have ever seen you this anxious before" Eddie said smiling. He had a few things that he was anxious about as well but he was trying to be calm. Today was an important day because if the doctor changed his plan of letting Janet go home today than Eddie's plan would be ruined. Weeks earlier Janet made a statement that she would marry Eddie that day if she could. It got him thinking that with every thing that has happened in their lives why would they wait. He called Hannah and set up a plan for a back yard wedding. Hannah took care of most of the details because Hannah knew what Janet liked from Janet's input when Hannah had planned her wedding, or rather the non wedding with Ray. Hannah did as much planning as she could and with the help of everyone else they got Eddie's house completely transformed into a place that could have guests over so the wedding and reception could be right there. Since Phil had broken free of his house bound restriction when all of this started he has been steadily working on continuing with his progress and they set forth the plan of Emily and Phil moving into Janet's house and they moved all of their things into Eddie's. They had transformed this once bachelor pad into a warm and welcoming home that was patterned right out of Janet's personality and color schemed. Hannah had done an amazing job Eddie had to admit and he knew that Janet would absolutely love it. They set up the bedroom downstairs for the time being as they didn't know how much of the stairs she could do but when they painted the entire house they turned Eddie's room into the 'eventual' master bedroom. As Eddie would come home and see the progress he couldn't have been more happy with his friends and how they all rallied together to make this happen for Janet and him. When the doctor started to give a few time frames of when Janet could come home, Eddie had pulled the doctor aside and told him of his plan. The doctor said it would be based on Janet's progress but settled on this date as being the earliest possible time. Hannah quickly went to work and got the guest list together, hired the pastor, talked to her Grands and contacted a caterer. Everything would happen tomorrow morning so it was important that Janet come home today because tonight was the time that Hannah had arranged for the local bridal store to bring over dresses that Janet had always commented she liked to get her dress and there was a seamstress waiting to make any alterations necessary to complete her look for the wedding. Due to Janet's bravery in the situation at the Duf, everyone in the Ridge saw her as a hero, taking a bullet to save others. She was instrumental in helping the police and hostage negotiation team to resolve the matter with as little blood shed as possible so everyone was willing to do whatever it took to help her in making this "surprise" wedding happen. It only hinged on one thing…she needed to come home today.

"I'm not anxious Eddie, I just want to go home and sleep in my own bed. I am sick of being in the hospital and sick of not being myself." She said looking out the window

Eddie looked at Janet, concerned, "Janet, look at me." She didn't respond right away.

Eddie got up and sat next to her on the bed and moved her chin in his direction, "Janet please look at me."

Janet had tears in her eyes. 

"Babe, I love you. I wish that I could take away all the pain you are feeling but I want you to know that I am going to be here for you in whatever way you need me too…you will heal Janet both on the inside and out and you will feel more like yourself in time I promise you, ok" Eddie said softly placing a small kiss on her lips.

Janet sat there and felt so thankful to have Eddie in her life. She didn't know what she would have done with out him by her side this entire time. He never waivered and helped her in any way she needed. She had never felt so loved before, except with her Grands, but this seemed so much more intense then before when they were together. It made her want to marry him all the more and she thought, 'when we get home I am going to talk to him about planning our wedding, now it is priority, I want to be Mrs. Latekka.'

"I love you so much Eddie. I can't thank you enough for being here and taking such good care of me. I would not have survived this without you. I will work as hard as I need to to back I promise." She said looking him in the eyes smiling.

God how Eddie loved that smile, he said, "Well you concentrate on getting better and let me handle the rest Ok?" and they linked hands while Janet was nodding to what he had just said.

The doctor walked in and said, "So anybody here ready to go home today?" smiling knowing the answer already to that question.

"Yep I am all ready Doc." Janet said smiling

"I am going to go and sign your discharge papers and get you on your way. You will need to take a wheelchair out of here and don't argue with me because I know you will but that is hospital policy, OK" the Doctor said looking over his glasses on his nose.

Janet opened her mouth to say something but then closed it knowing that the doctor wasn't going to budge so she just said, "ok Doc." Inside Eddie was elated because he knew that his plan was now going to work and tomorrow Janet would be his wife. He stood and extended a hand to the doctor. "Thanks Doc, I can't say Thank you enough for what you have done for Janet and me."

"You're welcome Mr. Latekka and Janet you take care." With that the Doctor left

Eddie turned to Janet and said, "Ok Ms. Meadows let's get you home."

With the help of the nurses, Janet was wheeled out of the hospital and helped into Eddie's truck. She was on the way home and smiling just looking out the window at all the trees and the sights of the Ridge. Before all of this happened she took for granted all that the Ridge had to offer but now things were so much different. She was surprised that Eddie took her to his house instead theirs. She didn't understand why until she walked into the door.

"What happened here?" Janet said as she walked through the door and saw a totally different house then the last time she was there.

"This is our home Janet. Phil left the house the day of the shooting and has been working on that since then. He and Emily moved into your house and we moved everything here just as we had originally planned. Hannah did the majority of the work so you will have to thank her." Eddie said smiling

As if on cue Hannah walked into the living room from the kitchen, "Welcome home Janet." She walked right up to Janet and gave her a hug with tears in her eyes, happy tears. "I am so glad you are finally home, do you like it?" she said leaning back a bit to see if she could read Janet's face.

Janet was just stunned. They did all of this for her and it looked amazing. It was a combination of her things and Eddie's and some new things she hadn't seen before. It wasn't girly by any means but it did have all of her favorite colors and pictures from her home. She looked at Hannah with happy tears in her eyes, "Thank you so much Hannah I absolutely love it. You did such a great job. It is our home, Eddie." She said now looking at Eddie.

Eddie smiled and said, "Yes it is Janet, ok everyone come on out." With that the whole gang came out of the kitchen with a banner that said 'Welcome home Janet'. Janet was just in awe of everything that was taking place. Her heart was full and she had never felt as loved as she did in that moment. But then she saw her Grands walk out with the assistance of Hannah.

"Oh my God, Grams and Grandpa…what are you doing here?" Janet walked slowly over to them and hugged them both one by one.

"We wouldn't miss you coming home and getting married." Grams said looking at Janet

Janet looked at her stunned and said, "getting married, Grams, what are you talking about?"

Eddie and Hannah had planned on this happening a little later but the cat was out of the bag so they both stepped in.

Janet turned and looked at Eddie and then at Hannah who had the biggest smiles on their faces.  
>"What is she talking about Eddie?" Janet asked confused.<p>

"Well babe, we are getting married tomorrow. Hannah arranged everything so the service and reception will be in the backyard." Eddie moved closer to Janet and was right in front of her now, "Janet I know this is a surprise but I have almost lost you twice and I am not waiting any more for us to be together. I love you and I want us to be married and live in this now beautiful house together. What do you say?" Eddie asked hoping that she would be ok with it.

Janet took in everything that he had said. She wanted to marry him more than anything so on the inside she was jumping for joy but she didn't have a dress and she worried that she wouldn't be able to have the energy to go shop for one. She then realized she hadn't said anything and now everyone was looking at her.

"What do I say? The same as what I said to you when you asked me the last two times…YES! But what am I going to do about a dress?" she said panic starting to set in.

Hannah stepped up, "I have that taken care of. Tammy from October Road Bridal is coming this afternoon with a selection of dresses that you mentioned to me when I picked mine out that you liked and a seamstress will also be here to make any alterations you need for it to be ready for your 10am wedding."

Janet was just in shock…so much to process. She started to cry and hugged Hannah. "You are all so amazing and I can't believe this is happening…I can't thank you enough…I really can't….Oh My God I am getting married tomorrow!" she said smiling and screaming with excitement at the same time. Eddie then hugged Hannah and whispered in her ear, "thank you Hannah. I can never thank you enough for the look her face just now and making this all happen. Thank you."

Hannah leaned back and mouthed 'you're welcome' and said, "Ok now that the Wedding is out, lets go get something to eat. I am sure that Janet is sick of hospital food and Phil has been cooking up a storm in there." With that everyone started to head towards the kitchen. Janet grabbed Eddie's hand and pulled him back a bit so they would be alone.

"I am so excited that you are going to be my husband tomorrow…Thank you Eddie for loving me like you do. Regardless of what has happened, I wouldn't change a thing but it brought us to this point and I have never been happier than I am right now. I love you so much Eddie Latekka."

"Right back at ya, Meadows" Eddie said, paused and then said, "don't get too used to that though because after tomorrow you will be Latekka." Eddie then leaned down and kissed her passionately. "Welcome home babe" He said after they broke apart and they joined their friends in the kitchen walking hand in hand.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25:

The afternoon was spent on the sizable deck that the fellas built for Eddie's backyard. He had one before but it was much smaller and in need of repair so during the time that Eddie was spending in the hospital the guys got together and phil designed a deck for the backyard to accommodate a family one day. It was attached the house and made it easier to go out into the backyard with a sprawling set of stairs that lead to a beautifully landscaped yard, curiosity of Ikey. Owen bought a new grill to put on the deck so Eddie could now start having BBQ's of his own. When Eddie first saw the deck he was in shock but when it was all finished he was speechless. Janet felt about the same when she saw it too. It was like she didn't even recognize the home that she and Eddie were living in. It was far from the home he shared with Phil. Everyone was sitting around the deck as it was big enough to accommodate pretty much everyone. There was a beautiful patio set that sat there in the center of patio area, curiosity of Janet's Grands. Hannah had told them of the plan for the wedding and they wanted to get her something that she would enjoy everyday, they thought nothing would give her more pleasure then to sit on the deck and drink her coffee in the mornings.

Janet sat there just looking around and seeing all of her friends and what little family she had left through very different eyes. She had a renewed sense of herself throughout this whole process knowing that she would never waste a moment of her life after being given a second chance. When she told Eddie weeks earlier that she would marry him on the spot if she could she really meant that although she really didn't think he would make it happen as he did. She could not have been happier with how he and Hannah worked out all the details and made this wedding a possibility for them both.

Eddie looked over at Janet and noticed she appeared to be lost in thought. She had a smile on her face as she looked out over all the people in the backyard. She grabbed her hand to hold in that moment. She immediately looked in his direction with the sweetest look of love on her face. He just couldn't wait until tomorrow when he could call her his wife.

Soon the afternoon turned into late afternoon and it would be time soon for Janet to try on wedding dresses so Hannah was walking around trying to get the boys moving and out of the house. This was a girls only event and Hannah made it clear to Eddie and all the boys to keep Eddie out of the house for the rest of the night. Eddie was not really ok with not staying with Janet for the first night she was back at home – he hadn't been able to sleep next to her in months but Hannah made it clear that he was not allowed.

Eddie and Janet had walked into the house and walked around a bit so Janet could see all the things that had been done to the house and they ended in their bedroom. This wouldn't be theirs forever just until she was back on her feet and could do the stairs routinely. They sat on the bed next to each other almost as nervous as the first time they made love with each other. Eddie spoke first, "I really don't want to leave you here tonight but I know that Hannah is insistent that I stay away."

Janet looked at Eddie, "you don't have to stay away Eddie. After everything we have been through I don't think we could get any worse luck so you staying here isn't going to affect anything other than making me sad that I can't be with you" she said so sweetly with tears starting to form in her eyes.

"Hey, Hey Janet, if you want me here I am here regardless of what Hannah says…it is you and me tomorrow and as long as I know you want me here I am here, Ok." Eddie said placing his palm on her cheek drawing her in for a sweet gentle kiss.

"I'm sorry I don't mean to cry Eddie. I am just so happy to be home and with you and still alive that I just want to spend my life being with those that I love. It may sound silly because I have always been so independent but something happened within me and I think I just need you to be with me, that's all." She said not looking at him not sure why.

"Hey babe look at me." Eddie placed his finger under her chin and lifted her chin towards his face "you don't have to apologize for anything. Something changed inside me as well Janet and I realize that I could have lost you again and I don't want us to be apart ever, that is why I planned this whole wedding in the first place because I don't see the need to wait any longer. It is you and me forever ok so I want you to have a good time tonight picking out your dress and when everyone is all gone I will come back and you and I can go to bed in our bed tonight…ok." He said smiling and looking into her eyes with as much love as he felt.

"Ok" is all Janet said before Eddie placed a very passionate yet tender kiss on her lips. With that Eddie got up and walked out in to the living room with Janet right behind him.

"Ok, ok you two lets get him outta here…we got dresses to try on." Hannah Jane said practically pushing Eddie out the door.

An hour later, the living room had been transformed into a wedding shop and several dresses were hanging on steel portable hanging rack and Eddie and Janet's bedroom had been transformed into her dressing area.

Hannah had done a very good job picking dresses that were Janet's taste and a few that were a little over the top but after everything she had done for her in regards to this wedding Janet would try on anything that made Hannah happy.

Through out the last few months, Janet had lost quite a bit of weight. She was still curvy but due to all the surgeries and lack of eating in the very beginning she had lost around 25 pounds. The weight loss certainly helped in trying on the dresses but even with the weight loss, she still struggled with trying to find one that made her look and feel and the same. She tried on the dresses that Hannah had chosen and although they were beautiful they were not Janet. She looked amazing but she didn't feel that way. She carefully tried on almost all the dressed until she got to "the one." The moment she put it on it brought tears to her eyes. Everyone that was standing in that room helping her try on her dresses paused for a moment when she turned and looked at her self in the full length mirror. She felt amazing and so beautiful in this dress and everyone could see it on her face. She looked at everyone in the mirror and everyone standing there had tears streaming down their faces. They knew as did she that this was her dress. This was the dress that she was meant to marry Eddie in.

The seamstress was also standing in the room helping Janet with the dresses and quickly realized that this was her dress so she began to look at what needed to be altered. Due to the style of the dress it didn't really need much on the top and really just needed to be shortened a bit so she quickly started to pin the bottom until Janet was happy with the length of the dress. Hannah stepped away and went into her bag. She had bought Janet a pair of shoes that Janet had commented on at the bridal store when Hannah was trying dresses earlier in the year. She knew that Janet would never buy these shoes for herself but after almost losing her best friend Hannah made sure Janet would have everything she ever mentioned for her wedding. She walked into the room as Janet was looking at herself in the mirror. Hannah walked up to her and said, "We just need one more thing to make this picture complete." She pulled the shoes out of the box and helped Janet step into them. Emily also helped Janet into the veil and head piece that the store owner had brought along and suggested with this dress. As Janet stood up and looked at her self in the mirror the tears began to flow heavily. She couldn't believe that she was standing in her wedding dress knowing that tomorrow was her wedding. She was so touched by every person who was standing in that room. As she looked at each and every one of them, she was overwhelmed by the love they had for her and what they all did to help make this day possible for her and Eddie. She wanted to express how she felt but the words wouldn't come out. She turned and looked at Hannah and smiled, "I know J, I know…we all love you too."

After a few minutes, the girls helped Janet out of the dress and the seamstress was off to make the adjustments that she needed so she could get it back to her in the morning. Everyone pitched in and helped the bridal store owner to gather her dresses and pack them in the bags. Janet was trying to figure out how to pay for the dress and the owner, Tammy, stated, "No need my dear your fiance' already paid for the dress." Janet was in shock. Eddie paid for her wedding dress, 'how is that even possible' she thought.

Emily, Allison and Aubrey all left with Tammy and helped her load up her van. Hannah stayed back with Janet and they decided to sit on the new couch in the living room and relax a bit.

"I can't thank you enough Hannah for all that you've done." Janet began to say.

"Janet I almost lost you and I was so scared. For the first time in my life I wouldn't have you and I couldn't bear that so this is my gift to you instead of a wedding present and a bachelorette party and a shower – which we couldn't do for you but I wanted you to have the most special day and I hope that you do. You looked absolutely beautiful in that dress Janet." She said with tears forming in her eyes.

The two embraced in that moment realizing that no words could really say what they were feeling but everything was expressed in that hug. "I did look good didn't I? I can't believe you remembered those shoes, I love those shoes." Janet said smiling the biggest of smiles.

"Of course I remembered, you talked about them non stop for the entire afternoon!" Hannah said laughing.

"Yeah I guess I did. I can't believe what you all did with this house. I barely recognize it. I love this furniture too." Janet said looking around and feeling the leather on the couch.

"I did have a lot of help trust me but we all wanted to do something for the two of you because you both have done so much for everyone else. Between me and the guys and Emily we were able to pick furniture that you both would like but it wasn't easy." Hannah said smirking remembering the day at the furniture store.

"I don't even think Eddie and I could have picked out this furniture…" Janet said laughing

"So what would you like to do for dinner? Phil has a ton of food left over if you just want to veg on your new furniture and have some girl time." Hannah said hoping that is exactly what Janet wanted.

"Sounds great Hannah, bring on the real food…I am more than over hospital food!" Janet said laughing as they both walked into the kitchen.

Hours later, Janet was laying on the living room couch flipping mindlessly through the channels. One of the other nice additions to their "new home" was a nice flat screen TV due to Phil having to take his TV with him since he gave it a name and all. She had finally talked Hannah into going home and letting her have some time alone to relax before her wedding. Hannah was reluctant to leave her there because it was her first night home but Janet insisted. Deep down Hannah knew that Eddie would likely be coming home regardless of tradition and she couldn't really blame him, it had been a long time since they had the opportunity to be alone together.

Eddie received Janet's text that said that Hannah had gone home so whenever he was ready the coast was clear. It made him laugh a bit and he began to make his way out the door. He thanked Phil and Emily for a great day and evening and for everything that they had done to help him with the wedding planning but the only thought in Eddie's mind was being with Janet now.

Moments later, Eddie came in through the front door and found Janet curled up on the couch flipping through channels. He immediately came in and closed and locked the door behind him. He made his way to the couch and eased himself down so Janet could lay her head in his lap. Janet just smiled the biggest smile when she saw him come in.

"What are you looking for?" Eddie asked watching Janet just flip channel to channel.

"I don't know, nothing really." Janet said mindlessly

"So did you find a dress for tomorrow?" Eddie asked as he began to smooth her hair across her forehead.

"I did." Janet said smiling even bigger.

"I can't wait to see it but I already know you will be beautiful." Eddie said smiling down on her.

"I can't thank you enough Eddie for doing all of this for me. I am so excited for tomorrow." Janet said looking up at Eddie with her head still in his lap.

"The smile on your face is enough for me, babe, why don't we head off to bed…we'll need our rest for our big day tomorrow." Eddie said smiling

"Absolutely" Janet said starting to move but rather slowly.

"Are you feeling ok, babe? I didn't even think about how tiring this day would be for you." Eddie said with concern trying to help her up off the couch.

"You know I was tired but feeling tired is a welcome feeling Eddie. This whole experience has really shown me to enjoy every minute even the uncomfortable ones but honestly it feels good to be out of the hospital and be able to move around at all. It all could have been so different." Janet said reflectively.

"I hate to hear you say that Janet but I understand why and I am just so thankful that you are home with me and we have our whole lives to look forward too." Eddie said trying not to say what he really wanted too.

They walked into their bedroom and Eddie looked around. "It looks like a tornado hit this place" he said jokingly.

Janet looked around and totally forgot that they hadn't really straightened out after the bridal store women were there. "I'm sorry Eddie, it's such a mess, I guess we did get a little carried away." Janet said looking around the room.

Eddie walked over to Janet and wrapped his arms around Janet's waist and said, "I don't care what this room looks like because it looks the best when you are in it." He said smiling knowing he was being charming and a bit sassy.

Janet smiled and said, "Is this how it's going to be? You charming me into what ever it is that you want…because you know it will likely work." She said giggling a bit.

"That's my plan" Eddie said gently kissing his fiance'.

When they slowly broke apart, Janet said, "Ok we need to get to bed because I want to be well rested for our big day tomorrow."

They both got ready for bed and snuggled into their bed together. Janet was so happy with the clearly expensive and high thread count sheets that Eddie had put on the bed knowing full well that Hannah was responsible for them. Within minutes they were wrapped in each others arms and completely asleep. Both finally feeling like there was nothing that they couldn't accomplish or face as long as they had each other and soon they would have each other forever.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26:

Janet was the first to stir in the morning of their wedding. She felt very well rested and smiled when she realized that Eddie was right next to her with his head firmly placed on her chest. He didn't typically sleep this way but for some reason he had his head on her chest and his arm across her stomach. He was hugging her as if she was the pillow. She paused briefly before she placed her fingers in his hair. She didn't want to wake him up yet the feeling of him on her chest was so amazing. She hadn't felt as connected to him as she did right at that moment. She gently placed her fingers in his hair and began to move them slowly from the front to the back. He didn't move right away and her goal really wasn't to wake him only to feel him. She knew that she was going to need to move soon as she was afraid she would be stiff and she needed to get ready for her big day. She glanced at the clock on her bedside table and it was only 6:30am so she knew she had a little time before Hannah would be making her appearance. She continued to run her fingers gently through his hair and he began to move a little. He tightened his grasp on her abdomen and began to move his head just slightly. It was almost making Janet laugh because he was really moving his cheek at this point against her breast without realizing it. He slowly began to lift his head trying to gain his bearings to determine where he was. He suddenly got this big grin on his face as he realized that the pillow was in fact his Janet and not a pillow. He turned his head just slightly and kissed Janet right between her breasts and moved slightly to look up into Janet's eyes. They locked eyes for a moment and Eddie continued to move until his lips were perched just shy of hers. They made contact and they kissed gently at first but soon Eddie became needy and wanted more of her. He deepened the kiss and they spent a good 10 – 15 minutes passionately kissing before Eddie and Janet both leaned back in attempts to catch their breaths.

"Hey soon to be Mrs. Latekka" Eddie said smiling

"Hey yourself Mr. Latekka…that was quite a good morning to ya." Janet said laughing

"It is a good morning waking up with you in my arms…I may reconsider the need for a pillow from now on." Eddie said chuckling.

"Very funny, Eddie." Janet said laughing

"So what is on the agenda for today" Eddie said looking as serious as he could knowing that she was about to smack him in the arm knowing full well what their plan was.

Janet looked at him and realized that he was teasing her. "I don't know maybe a lazy breakfast in bed and then maybe a cook out or something this afternoon…you know what ever you feel like doing…" she said teasing with her eyes looking directly at Eddie.

"You are so sassy Ms. Meadows, you know I have missed that." Eddie said kissing her quickly again.

"Whatever do you mean Eddie?" Janet said smiling

"Ok, ok…lets get you showered because I am sure that Hannah will be busting into that door soon enough to get everything started for our wedding." Eddie said.

"Are you going to join me? It would save some time." Janet said knowing that she could totally shower on her own now.

"Absolutely let's go" Eddie said beginning to move and helping Janet get out of the bed as well.

30 minutes later the two soon to be newly weds were showered and dressed. They both walked hand in hand to the kitchen to make some coffee and get some things out for people as soon their house would be a buzz of activity. They sat at the new bar/island that the guys created for them as Janet always said she would love an island to get things prepared when she was cooking. The other side of the island was great to have some stools to sit and talk to each other while she was in the kitchen or to eat breakfast or whatever meal on. She loved this addition to the kitchen as well as the new cabinets that were in place giving them so much more cupboard space. Hannah had clearly arranged everything because most of the dishes were in cabinets that were similar to the configuration at Janet's house. The refrigerator was stocked full of everything they would need and lots of snack foods so the men would be able to snack while setting things up in the backyard for the ceremony and reception.

Just then there was a knock on the door and Janet said, "now the fun begins"!

Eddie just laughed and got off the stool to see who was at the door. It was the tent company wanting to set up the tents for the event. They also had the archway that Janet and Eddie would exchange their vows under. They wanted it set up before the florist arrived so the archway could be decorated to the specifications that Hannah had set up…she was nothing but thorough.

Janet got up and looked out the patio doors past the deck to the large back yard watching Eddie show the tent fella's where to put the archway and the large tent for the reception. Within the hour, the tent was up and the tables and chairs were all set up under the tent and the archway was secured and numbers of rows of chairs were set up just in front of it. Janet couldn't believe how quickly they were getting things together. Another knock on the door, this time Janet got up to get it and it was the florist as if on cue. They were directed in the back yard and Eddie met them back there and gave them brief instructions. Janet just watched out the patio door once again and was just in shock how much everyone had worked to pull this wedding off without her knowing about it. Truth be told, it was perfect. It was exactly how Janet had always pictured her wedding. She never knew how her grandparents would react to her not getting married in a church setting but she loved being out side and it reminded her so much of Eddie due to his landscaping background. She knew this was the perfect way to start her life off with Eddie as a married couple.

Suddenly, the front door opened and Janet was brought out of her thoughts. Hannah was coming through the door with the other bridesmaids calling Janet's name and carrying several garment bags. Janet smiled and said to herself, "this is it…time to get ready."

Janet met Hannah in the front foyer area and had the biggest smile on her face. Hannah said, "where's Eddie?" Janet laughed knowing that Hannah knew he didn't stay away last night.

"He is in the back yard helping the florist and tent people" Janet said.

"Perfect! Now it is time to get you ready…good your showered it looks like." Hannah says

"Yup I am all yours" Janet says with a smile.

"Ok lets get set up in the downstairs bedroom. The hairdresser and make up artist will be here in like 20 minutes." Hannah says to everyone really.

Janet just stood there for a moment and took everything in that was happening around her. She couldn't believe that in a matter of a few hours she would be Mrs. Eddie Latekka.

Janet stood in front of the full length mirror looking at herself. She could not believe her eyes. She looked like a bride. Her hair was perfect. It was all loose curls and only up in the very front gathered to the back top of her head. Her veil was simple, it was secured to the back of her head attached to a simple crown type head piece that was placed on the top of her head and ran down into her hair is what it looked like so you could only see the top of the crown in amongst her hair. It was simple yet stunning. She looked at her makeup which was natural but yet brought out her beautiful blue eyes. She had a rose color on her lips and cheeks. For the first time in as long as she can remember she looked and felt truly beautiful. Then her eyes settled on her dress. It was absolutely the most beautiful dress she had ever seen. It was simple in some ways…it had a dropped waist with rushing in the chest and waist area that completely gave her the look of an hour glass figure. She had never been a chesty girl but this dress even gave her cleavage with a sweetheart neckline. It had a strap that went from the left side of her chest across over one shoulder that was lined with delicately made flowers with crystal accents in the center. It was merely for decorative purposes but was so delicate and the perfect accent to the dress. The bottom of the dress flowed from the dropped waist with delicate lace and crystal accent. It was layers and layers of flowing material that truly gave her the feeling of a princess gown. The shoes were the final accent. They were slightly higher than she would normally wear but they were satin and crystal accents with a thicker heel that was at least 4 inches. She was unsure how long she would be able to wear them but she knew that with this final touch she felt so beautiful and could not wait for Eddie to see her.

Her Grands had come in to her bedroom to give her the most beautiful bracelet that was made of simple diamonds that she wore on her wedding day as something borrowed. Her Grands then gave her a box with a ribbon and when Janet opened it up it was a simple pair of diamond earrings with a diamond drop shaped like a pear. It was absolutely beautiful and it was her something new. Hannah gave her a diamond pin that she attached to Janet's dress at the place where her shoulder accent was attached to her sweetheart neckline. It was very clever because due to the crystal accents it looked as though it belonged there. It was her something borrowed and her garter made of blue satin was her something blue. She smiled at herself in the mirror thinking back on all the forces that came together to make this day possible and she felt so overwhelmed.

Hannah walked in and saw Janet looking at herself in the mirror and just smiled because she could see that Janet finally saw herself as the beautiful woman she really was. They two made eye contact and Janet turned to face her.

"Oh my God Janet you look so beautiful." Hannah said so lovingly as a best friend only could.

"Thank you Hannah I really feel beautiful" Janet said.

"Are you ready sweetie? It's almost time" Hannah said.

"Absolutely" Janet said smiling.

Eddie was standing outside near the archway and was waiting for the wedding to start. He got ready upstairs really quickly and was given strict instructions not to return to the house until the wedding so he wouldn't see Janet by mistake or curiosity. He was standing close to his groomsmen and trying really hard not to be nervous but failing miserably. Owen, Nick, Ikey and Phil are all standing near him trying to help with his nerves. Ronnie is ushering everyone to their seats. Every seat is occupied and everyone is waiting for the music to start. All Eddie can do is stare at the patio door as that is the door Janet will emerge from escorted by her grandfather down the isle. The backyard is beautiful as the florist shop did an amazing job lining the isle walkway with flower stands and the archway is decorated with Janet's favorite flowers and vines.

The music starts and Eddie is brought to attention as everyone gets into their places. Janet's Grands is brought out of the house by Ronnie and escorted to her seat up front. She pauses in front of Eddie and gives him a hug whispering in his ear, "you have made my Janey so happy thank you." Eddie squeezed her tight and smiled knowing that he could not say anything without beginning to tear up.

The bridesmaids began their descent to the archway. First to come out the door is Emily who is greeted by Phil halfway down the isle and brought to rest near Eddie and archway. Next comes Aubrey who is greeted by Ikey, Allison is next to meet Owen and Hannah immerges met by Nick. They all turn to find Allison and Owen's daughter and Sam heading down the isle as the flower girl and Jr. groomsmen as Sam is a bit too old to be a ring bearer but he does hold the rings for the ceremony. Finally the music turns and now is the time for the bride to emerge. Everyone stands and turns to watch as the doors open and out steps Janet and her grandfather slowly making their way on to the deck and down the stairs to the isleway.

Eddie is completely struck by the woman that is slowly making her to him. Janet is breathtaking in her gown and veil. He suddenly realizes that he has lost his breath momentarily. He can not stop the tears forming in his eyes as she slowly approaches him. She has tears falling freely down her cheeks as she flashes him the biggest smile he has ever seen on her. They make their way to the archway and Janet's grandfather hugs her briefly and gives her hand to Eddie. Eddie shakes his hand and he goes and takes a seat next to Grands.

Eddie looks at Janet for a brief moment before turning to face the pastor who is officiating the ceremony. He mouthed to her "you are so beautiful". She smiles.

The Pastor begins the ceremony, "We are gathered here today in the presence of God and all these witnesses, family and friends of Janet Meadows and Eddie Latekka to unite them in the bonds of marriage…"

After the blessings, vows being voiced, candles lit and rings exchanged it is now time for the best part. "Please join me in introducing Mr. and Mrs. Edward Latekka…you may kiss your beautiful bride" the pastor says looking at Eddie who is smiling knowing that this is the part he has been waiting for.

He leans down and just before their lips touch he says in a whisper, "I love you Janet Latekka" and closes the distance between them for a very passionate kiss that last longer than anyone would have thought it would for the occasion. Eddie and Janet were lost in each other for a brief moment forgetting that they were in the midst of everyone until they began to hear all the shouts and clapping from their family and friends. Janet blushed a bit knowing that in that moment she completely forgot they weren't alone. Eddie looked at her and said, "you are just so beautiful Janet I couldn't help myself." Janet smiled at him and suddenly she didn't care so much that they had a kiss that she was sure no one would ever forget. Eddie grabbed her hand and they turned and faced their family and friends and began to walk down the isle followed by each pair of the wedding party until they reached the deck area. Eddie and Janet stood on the deck and each hugged all of the members of the wedding party as they approached the top of the deck. The girls all stood there and talked while the groomsmen went and helped to convert the wedding ceremony area to part of the reception area. That would be the place where the dance floor would be set up and right now the DJ that would be playing during their reception was in the process of setting up. Eddie however stayed right by Janet's side hanging onto her hand.

Hannah emerged from the kitchen with a tray of glasses and bottles of champagne and set them down on the table that was decorated for the wedding. Each glass was filled and handed out – the first two being to the bride and groom whose \glasses were marked as such and decorated with ribbon and crystals. Eddie and Janet waited until the boys came back up onto the deck and the entire wedding party began to raise their glasses as Eddie began his toast to his bride.

"I didn't think there was a moment in my life that I would feel the way I do at this very minute. I think I knew that Janet was the one the minute she agreed to meet Ernesto…he laughs…but with everything that life has brought our way I know that there is nothing that we can not overcome as long as you are with me Janet. You are my love, my life, my forever…and now my wife. To my Janet, you are my hail Eddie." With that he raised his glass and took a sip. Janet stood there with tears falling from her eyes and couldn't believe the things Eddie just said. There was nothing that he could have said that was better than his words that she would always remember. Eddie looked at her because she wasn't drinking and he leaned forward and kissed her. This time the kiss was brief but in that kiss held the feelings that Janet was unable to speak. Eddie looked at her and said, "I know babe, I love you too." With that they all raised their glass and each of them took a drink. All the girls had tears as well as they had never really seen Eddie the way he was in this moment. Each of them raised their glasses once and again and began to drink and laugh and enjoy the start of the reception. The one thing that was certain to everyone there was that Now the fun begins.


	27. Chapter 27

(Authors note: Just wanted to say thanks to all of you who have been patient and waited for me to update…it has been a long road but I think I am heading in the right direction…I hope you enjoy the reception and thanks to Tammy, Erin, Alishia and Chris for the words of encouragement to continue…you are the best!)

Chapter 27:

The reception was in full swing. Everyone was having a brilliant afternoon. The sun was shining and everyone practically was on the dance floor in Eddie and Janet's back yard. The luncheon meal was amazing and people were just getting ready to enjoy a little desert. Eddie and Janet were about to cut the cake.

At the cake table Eddie and Janet were standing admiring the cake. It was a simple three tier cake but was absolutely beautiful. It was covered in flowers and crystals to carry the theme of the wedding. The cakes were squares and off kilter a little from one another…Janet liked that idea since their life together had been nothing but off kilter. It was made of three separate flavors to suit Eddie and Janet's favorite things. They were standing near the cake so pictures could be taken and the wedding party could gather to watch and take photos if they wanted to.

Eddie and Janet both held the knife and were cutting into the cake to 'ohs and ahhs' from their friends and family. Armed each with a piece of cake, both contemplating what they were going to do…be nice and serve each other the cake or be sassy and smash it into each other's face. Eddie was to go first and he nicely placed the cake into Janet's mouth which made her smile but then kissed her immediately after stating that she had some frosting on her mouth. Janet thought 'could he be any sweeter?'

Janet stood there ready to serve the piece just as nicely to Eddie however at the last minute decided that she wanted to have some fun with it so when he leaned down to put it in his mouth she shoved his gently onto the end of his nose…he smiled of course but then she kissed his nose and licked off the frosting. She then went to feed it to him again and this time she got his cheek, followed by her kissing his cheek and licking off the frosting. Eddie truth be told was enjoying the attention his wife was paying to him so he played along. The final time she gave him his cake she actually made it in his mouth but managed to smush the frosting all over his lips. This one was his favorite because it brought about the same result and she kissed him long and passionately as they did after they were pronounced husband and wife. The hoots and hollers started again but neither of them cared.

The DJ started speaking into the loud speaker and called the wedding guests to the dance floor for the tossing of the bouquet and garter. Eddie and Janet finally broke apart and smiled to each other. "Nicely played Mrs. Latekka" Eddie said chuckling.

"I like to clean up after my messes" Janet said lifting her eyebrows. It was nearly Eddie's undoing as he was wishing that the reception was over and they were alone but he knew they would get there soon enough.

Eddie and Janet made it to the dance floor and a chair was placed on the floor for Janet to sit on while Eddie worked his head and hands up her leg to the garter. Due to the fact that the dress had such a full skirt and Eddie knew no one could see what he was up to under the dress he decided to have some fun with Janet. He slowly made his way up her leg to her upper thigh placing kisses all the way up as he went until he reached the spot where the garter was but instead of grabbing it he continued up a bit further sensing her tense as he moved past the location of her garter. Eddie smiled to himself knowing she was unaware of what his intentions were and that she was facing everyone. He decided to give her a break and stop just before he reached one of his most favorite parts of Janet. He moved his mouth back down her leg until he grabbed the garter in his teeth and felt her relax a bit. He continued to move down her leg slowly and when he got to the bottom she moved her leg out slightly so he could get the garter off. It was then only that Eddie noticed the beautiful shoes that Janet was wearing and he smiled knowing that she got to have every aspect of the wedding that she wanted including the shoes that he knew she never would have bought for herself.

Eddie emerged from underneath Janet's dress with the garter in his teeth. Janet just looked at him with a look that said 'when we are alone you are going to pay for that.' Eddie just smiled and handed the garter to Nick who had gathered all the single fella's for the garter toss. Of course Ikey would win that contest regardless of who got in his way. Everyone cheered and clapped.

Next came Janet's turn to throw the bouquet. She was trying to position herself so Hannah would be the one who caught the bouquet but unfortunately for Hannah it simply handed in Karen's hands, one of Janet's former co-workers at Sully's. She looked just as surprised as anyone who didn't really move to grab the bouquet….maybe it was a sign. Janet smiled.

As was customary, Ikey and Karen danced the next slow song and began to talk once the awkwardness of it all wore off. Soon they had forgotten that everyone was watching and really enjoyed their conversation. Eddie and Janet who were standing off to the side of the dance floor and looked at Ikey and Karen and then looked at each other. Eddie just lifted his eyebrows and smiled as did Janet. Janet leaned in to say, "you realize that I am going to get you for that lovely adventure under my dress right?" She was grinning widely and once again lifting her eyebrows. Eddie laughed slightly and said, "I look forward to it!"

The rest of the day was filled with fun and dancing and soon it was time for dinner to be served. It was simple but everyone was hungry with a day filled with love, laughter and most of all fun. The crowd had thinned to only family and the closest of friends. Hannah had really thought of everything since she didn't know how long people would stay she planned for a light supper to be served in the event there was still a crowd. Luckily she figured correctly and knew it wouldn't be everyone just a portion so she ordered a good amount of food for those who were left. Janet was really starting to get tired and sore as her body wasn't used to all this activity but she had been working hard in physical therapy and truth be told it was her wedding and she wanted to push through her pain to have a great day with all the people who made this possible. She tried to sit as much as she could talking to people at tables as to not alert Eddie that she was uncomfortable but somewhere in her mind she knew he knew what she was up too.

"Hey babe, how are you doing? Eddie said sweetly sitting next to her while they began to eat dinner.

"I'm good but am getting tired" much to Eddie's surprise she was honest.

"I think shortly after dinner is served people will begin to clear out. We can have some alone time after that…how does that sound?" Eddie asked

Janet looked at Eddie and smiled but in her mind it was reeling. She knew that at some point the issue of intimacy was going to come up. She hadn't been with Eddie for literally months. Today she wanted nothing more than to be with him again that way but she was so tired and so unsure how it would be with her injuries. She became very shy and self-conscious in that moment and Eddie sensed it immediately.

"Hey, I know what is going on in that mind of yours and I don't want you to worry ok. I know that it will take a while before we can be 100% back to where we were but I am just happy to be with you Janet even if that means spending tonight just as we did last night. It means more to me to have you here with me than anything else, ok." Eddie said with so much love.

Janet immediately had tears in her eyes and wondered briefly how he was even able to read her thoughts. "Eddie I want so much to be with you again, I just don't know how it is going to be…I'm not the same." She said looking down at her hands staring briefly at her wedding ring.

"Janet we both are different now…don't you see that? I almost lost you permanently and that changed me in ways that I can't even begin to tell you. I am so thankful that you are as stubborn as you are and fought to come back to me…so grateful…but it is more than just a physical connection Janet. You are so deeply embedded in my heart Janet that all that other stuff well that is just icing on the cake. I just want you near me so I can hold you and kiss you and the other stuff will come naturally as it did before." Eddie said as he gently stroked her face wiping away traces of her hair that has fallen.

Janet looked at him and truly understood what he meant. She felt the same way but suddenly she had a giggle remembering their first time…it was so awkward at first. "I don't think 'natural' is the word I would use to describe our first time." Janet giggled.

Eddie smiled remembering their first time together and the whole bay city rollers song and how Janet had to really push the issue because Eddie was afraid he would leave her after it was all over. "Ok so maybe this time it will be more natural…you are right that night was awkward but I remember it turning out very nicely." Eddie said now in a seductive tone.

"That it did." Janet said smiling. She couldn't believe how different her relationship was with Eddie. HE was right they have both changed and in very good ways it seems. She hadn't envisioned a life with Eddie after everything happened with Rory returned and she turned to Rooster. She had encountered some very dark days but managed to get herself out of those days by moving forward with her life but she always felt that there was something missing. She always knew that the void was Eddie but never did she dream that they would be sitting here having this discussion after going through all they had. She felt so lucky which seemed strange after being held hostage and shot and spending months in the hospital recovering from it but in this moment that is exactly how she felt. She looked into Eddie's eyes and simply leaned forward and kissed him gently at first but Eddie seemed to once again be able to read what was in her thoughts and deepened the kiss. They spent the next few minutes just enjoying the closeness that they felt in that moment and for now it would be enough, both of them knew for sure it would be.

Ikey came up to them breaking their intimate moment, "are you two ever going to stop doing that, there are other people here you know." He says laughing.

"No!" Eddie and Janet both said in unison smiling

"Ok, Ok…alright already…geez!" Ikey said holding his hands up "I am going to take off…Karen and I are….ahh….going out for coffee." He said somewhat uncomfortable

"Ahhh…that's sweet…you two crazy kids have fun." Janet said with Eddie standing and hugging Ikey briefly. "Thanks for being here Ikey" Eddie said.

"yeah yeah" Ikey said before walking away not wanting Eddie to see how much that meant to him. He went over by Karen and they walked out of the backyard together.

Slowly, people began to make their way to Eddie and Janet to say goodbye and within the hour it was only Eddie, Janet, Hannah, Nick, Phil and Emily. Hannah had taken Janet's Grands and Grandpa to the hotel already as they were tired. The tent company had just arrived to take down the tent for the evening as they sat on the deck and watched. Eddie and Janet were curled up on the oversized lounger that Janet's Grands had gotten for them as their wedding gift. It was a part of the beautiful patio set that now was a fixture on the deck. Hannah was looking at Janet and Eddie and couldn't help but smile at the look of contentment and relaxation on their faces. She knew that there was nothing that could get in the way of their happiness now because they had each other. Suddenly she realized that maybe it was time to leave them alone.

"Well you beautiful girl…we should probably get a move on and let you two relax for the rest of the evening. You must be exhausted by now Janet." Hannah said really wondering how she was feeling.

"I can't thank you enough Hannah for all of this. It was absolutely perfect and I just couldn't have planned it better myself. I love you! Janet said getting up and hugging her best friend.

"It was my pleasure Janet. Now go get out of that dress and relax a little would ya!" She said not wanting to cry.

"Aye Aye Captain!" Janet said laughing

With that Hannah, Nick, Phil and Emily said their goodbyes and left Eddie and Janet. The tent people made quick work of taking the tent down and remove the tables and chairs all out of the backyard within the hour. The DJ had taken down his equipment and the dance floor and loaded all of it in his van so Eddie and Janet's back yard was transformed back into their backyard once again. The only thing that remained was the beautiful arch of flowers and vines that the floral shop provided. They indicated when it was set up that they would return the following day to retrieve it.

Eddie and Janet slowly made their way into the house after the last person had left and went straight the bedroom to change out of their wedding attire. Janet was a little sad that she would take off her dress never to wear it again but she really just longed to be in her jogging pants and sweatshirt at this point. Eddie helped her with the back as it took literally three people to help Janet into the dress. He held her hand for balance while she stepped out of the dress. Eddie took the dress from her and placed it on a chair carefully not the wrinkle it. Eddie turned back and had to stop a second and view what was under the beautiful dress. Janet had a corset on with matching panties and thigh high stockings. All he could focus on is how amazing she looked in what was underneath that dress as well. Janet looked up and didn't realize that she was now only in her underwear basically. She paused and didn't know what to do. Eddie has seen her naked hundreds of times and certainly recently in helping her in the shower as he has throughout her time in the hospital but there was something different about the look on his face at this moment. She realized that she wasn't self-conscious any longer about her body. She no longer cared that she wasn't his typical type or if her body wasn't to his liking or any of the thoughts that used to run through her head in the past. All she could do was stare at his face and see in his eyes how much he loved her and everything simply faded away. Janet slowly walked towards him and soon was right in front of him never breaking eye contact with him. Eddie looked down and was almost frozen in that moment. He wanted her so badly and the way she looked right now it was taking everything he had not to do what he truly wanted to. Janet reached up and began to run her hands from the back of his neck down his neck. Soon she leaned forward and kissed him, still wearing her heels she could reach his face so much easier. Eddie instantly wrapped his arms around her and there they stood lost in each other. Janet pulled back just slightly and began the process of removing Eddie's tie, his jacket long gone, and started to unbutton his shirt. Eddie just stood there and watched as Janet slowly undressed him one article of clothing at a time. This was definitely a new side to Janet that Eddie had yet to experience. She had overcome a lot in their relationship but taking charge like this was something that didn't happen. Janet had always told him that she enjoyed him taking charge and showing her how much he wanted her so this was a change. Both of them were lost in their thoughts not really knowing what was going to happen next. Janet felt so loved in this moment that she wanted more. She wanted Eddie to be with her skin on skin and to connect with him as a husband and wife should on their wedding day. She knew that tomorrow she would likely pay for all the activity but at this moment she didn't care. She had no idea how her body would respond to what she had in mind but she was willing to find out. Eddie couldn't do anything but watch as Janet slowly and effectively removed all of his clothing right down to his boxer briefs. She paused slightly and ran her hands up his chest and when she got to the top she wrapped her hands around his neck and looked into his eyes. Eddie leaned slightly and closed the distance between them wrapping his arms around her back and waist. She was definitely shaped differently than in the past but all he could do was feel her skin on skin. The moment their lips touched that was the last thought either of them had and they got lost in each other once again. This time however they began to take steps backwards for Janet and forwards for Eddie towards their bed. As they both lowered themselves onto the bed, they began the process of getting to know each other once again in some ways and a new in others. They spent the rest of the evening in their beds touching, hugging , kissing and eventually made love for the first time as husband and wife. It was slow, sensual and consuming nothing like the first time they were together. This time there was so much more. No shyness, no laughing, no rolling around just the two of them connecting with each other and sealing the unbreakable bond that would be there for the rest of their lives.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28:

Eddie and Janet were laying against each other, Janet's back to Eddie's front with Eddie's arm holding her around her chest. Janet was still sleeping but Eddie woke up as the sun began to rise and peer through the windows in the living room. He was smiling the biggest smile he can remember in months. His Janet was home and in his arms. His eyes close and he begins to remember their wedding night.

They had spent the whole rest of the night together, touching, kissing and experiencing intimacy in a whole new way. He had never felt closer to any one than he did with Janet. He hadn't really thought that they would make love on their wedding night with it being her first night home but it happened without either of them really able to stop it. It was slow and deliberate and sensual more so than anything he had ever experienced with anyone in his past let alone with Janet. She seemed to know exactly what she was doing when they began to kiss and touch each other. It slowly moved to their bed and she began to just touch him and he decided to simply follow her lead. He knew that she wasn't sure herself of what would happen as she had voiced as much before they ended up on the bed. As they looked into each other's eyes it was as if nothing had happened prior to this moment and they were truly lost in each other. They spent so much time just feeling each other again that when Janet began to move Eddie into a rather intimate position he barely realized what she was doing while she was doing it. She had asked him to sit up with his legs stretched out in front of him. As he did, he didn't really know what she was planning but he knew at that moment he would do anything for her. She slowly moved in front of him and straddled him wrapping her legs around his waist. He slowly moved his feet towards him so they were almost cradling her backside to help support her. She was looking him in the eyes and there was something there in her eyes and look that let him know exactly what she needed and wanted without any words to be exchanged. He slowly leaned forward and they began again in their kissing and exploration of each other's bodies and seemingly naturally he slowly entered her with little maneuvering needed. They began to rock gently back and forth and with this position he was hitting that spot in her that felt so amazing. They moved with each other so slowly and gently that she wasn't in any discomfort and he felt so connected to her it nearly brought tears to his eyes. They stayed this way for what seemed like hours until they both were reaching that point where they each would find their release but somehow it felt different this time. It was so intimate and they kept their eyes on each other the entire time which was not something either of them had done in the past. They stayed connected to each other as they both came down from their release and neither of them wanting to break that connection. At some point they both began to move and gently lay back down, Janet's back to Eddie's front and that is where they feel into a deep sleep, until now when Eddie was reflecting on their night.

Eddie stayed exactly where he was with his arm wrapped around Janet's chest smiling knowing it was for his benefit as his arms was resting on each of her breasts. She never moved when he had done that, in fact she really hadn't moved at all throughout the night and as he began thinking about that the smile disappeared from his face and he began to check to make sure she was ok.

Eddie leaned forward and began to kiss and nuzzle her neck to see if she would respond and she didn't at first, which concerned him.

Janet was beginning to come out of the wonderful dream she was having and opened her eyes slightly seeing the light peering into the living room. Their bedroom door was open so she could see very clearly into the living room from her position on the bed. Her body felt very heavy and when she moved slightly she could feel the pain in her chest. She had talked to her physical therapist about her activity level before she left the hospital knowing that at some point she wanted to resume her sexual activity with Eddie and the therapist had given her tips and positions that would work better without putting so much stress on her chest where she was shot and her back which had also sustained some damage due to her lengthy stay in the hospital and the surgery she needed. Janet had worked hard in physical therapy to help strengthen her back and the rest of her body due to the inactivity for so long but she still had a long way to go. Neither Janet nor her therapist had dreamed that her first day home would be her wedding and all the activity that comes with that. Janet tried very hard to rest as much as she could during the reception and through out the day but she knew that the amount of time she spent on the dance floor and walking around would take a toll on her body the next day. She didn't anticipate the level of pain she was now in. She didn't want to alarm Eddie because she knew he would feel horrible about it and after the night they shared she didn't want him to regret any of it because she didn't but now she found herself not knowing what to do because even the slightest movement was so extreme it brought tears suddenly to her eyes. She wished he would get up and go to the bathroom or something so she could move fully without him seeing the pain she was in and maybe she could then go use of the pain medication that they sent home with her. She felt Eddie begin to nuzzle her neck and she didn't know what to do. She wasn't sure if he was trying to wake her or if he had other ideas of what to do as he was always a morning person when it came to their sex life prior to her shooting. She just laid there frozen trying to think of what to do.

Eddie didn't feel any movement from Janet and he was beginning to really worry. She always responded to his efforts in the morning and she wasn't evening moving this morning. He began to worry that with the wedding and their night together that it was all too much for her physically. He knew she had been working on becoming stronger before she left the hospital but he remembered the doctor tell her to continue with her exercises and take things slowly for a while…no work or going out until she felt more stable and had very little pain. As much as it killed him to hear, the doctor did go over the fact that her injury from the shooting was a serious matter and although she was healing nicely she still had a long way to go before she would be back to 100%. Eddie moved slightly so he could see her face, and that is when he saw his worst fear come true, in that lone tear that ran from her eye down her cheek he knew in that instant she was in a great deal of pain.

"Janet please look at me…I know your awake and you're in pain…sweetie please what can I do to help you?" Eddie said pleadingly to her.

Janet closed her eyes briefly knowing now that she couldn't hide it anymore. "Eddie I'm sorry but I can't look at you…I can't move…my body hurts everywhere…I'm sorry Eddie…I…" she couldn't finish what she was going to say as the tears began to fall rapidly from her eyes.

"Janet…" he whispered and got off the bed slowly and left the room

Janet watched him walk out of the door and her heart broke. She knew he was upset and it was too much for her, the tears began to fall more and more rapidly and heavily. She wanted to get up and follow him but she couldn't move. She tried and the slightest movement felt like being shot all over again. She was helpless in that moment, a feeling that Janet liked the least.

Eddie returned to their bedroom with her bottle of pain medication and a glass of water. He knelt on the floor next to the bed on Janet's side and removed the pills from the bottle and placed them in her mouth without saying a word. He then brought the glass which had a straw to her lips and she drank quickly the liquid to help ease the pills down her throat. Neither of them said a word but they kept their eyes on each other without waivering. He placed the glass on the table and ran his hand so gently down Janet's cheeks removing the tears that were continuing to fall.

"It's ok Janet…soon the medication will relax the pain…I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain…I should never have put you through all of that yesterday just getting out of the hospital…but I am not sorry that your my wife and that yesterday was the happiest day of my life…I just wish I could take your pain away right now." He said as he continued to wipe away the tears from her cheeks gently stroking her face.

Janet just looked at him and the slightest of smiles played on her face. In a whisper she said, "I'm not sorry Eddie…I wouldn't trade yesterday and last night for any amount of pain…thank you for getting my medication...I hate feeling this weak."

"I know you do babe but you will get stronger, I promise…we can stay here all day if you like…I rather like you in the confines of my bed." He said smiling now.

"I do too, especially today…Mr. Latekka." She said now beginning to visibly relax.

"or any day, Mrs. Latekka…" Eddie said loving the way his name sounded in reference to her.

"Come back and snuggle with me again…I like you being that close." She said.

Eddie face fell a little because as much as he wanted to he was afraid he would hurt her. Janet could see the conflict on his face, "Eddie it is ok, I won't break, please come and lay with me." She pleaded with him

Eddie didn't respond he simply stood up and walked around the bed to his side and very slowly and gently eased himself back on the bed and much more gently and slowly took his place behind Janet, easing his arm back around her waist. He felt Janet move slightly and she was grabbing at his arm and moving it back to her chest so his arm was once again lying on her breasts. He smiled knowing that is where he really wanted to be and she knew it too.

This is where they spent the entire morning. Janet's medication took effect and eased a great deal of her pain within the hour and Eddie could feel her relax under his arm as the medication took a hold of the pain. As soon as she was able she shifted in the bed so she was now facing her husband. They were facing each other and began talking to each other as Eddie gently ran his fingers through Janet's hair. She needed to use the bathroom and he helped her up so she could go on her own. He smiled at the fact that Janet didn't seem to mind that she was completely naked as she walked to the bathroom that was connected to their bedroom. She came back feeling much better and slowly got back into bed resuming her position facing Eddie. He was still grinning like a fool and she looked at him like "what is this man grinning so much about."

"What are you thinking right now Eddie?" Janet asked looking puzzled

"How beautiful you are." He said continuing to smile.

"Well you aren't so bad yourself Mr. Latekka" Janet said smiling right back

"Janet you are so different than you were when we dated before…you seem so much more confident and less self-conscious…you are just beautiful…" Eddie said trying to find the words to describe how he was feeling in that moment

"Eddie, I nearly lost my life and in those moments when I had no idea what was going to happen to me all I could think of was how long I have wasted on feeling like I am not good enough…I think about Seth and wondered if he felt that way…if he felt like no one understood him or he wasn't good enough…I don't ever want to feel that way again and I know that it was all in my mind and I let others influence me to make that feeling stronger…I am not going to let anyone do that to me again or myself…" she said as her voice drifted off a bit.

"Throughout this whole experience and all the help you have given me and being at my side throughout the whole thing…there isn't any doubt in my mind any more about how you feel about me and I don't doubt myself any more…it is really freeing" Janet said looking into Eddie's eyes.

In that moment, Eddie could not have loved his wife any more…although he laughed to himself that he keeps saying that but she was just so amazing and kept surprising him with her new found attitude after everything that had happened. He felt like his life was now complete and felt very lucky to have Janet with him after everything that they had been through. He was so happy that she finally accepted his love for her without any conditions or doubt. She was finally able to see herself the way he always told her he saw her. He couldn't have been happier.

"I love you Janet so much and I am so happy that you feel that way…I can't tell you how long I have waited to hear you say those things about yourself and truly feel them and I now that you do…you couldn't have made me happier than I am at this very moment." Eddie said and he leaned forward and kissed Janet. He started very gently but it turned into a very passionate kiss quickly. They didn't take it beyond the kissing and hugging but the intimacy that they felt in that moment was so much more than the first time that they had made love to each other. Although both of them would have loved to take it beyond that point neither of them wanted Janet to be in any more pain than she was already so they kept it purely to touching and kissing and it was more than enough.

Hours later, they had just settled into each other after their heated kissing session and quickly fallen asleep. They began to move around and realized they both had taken naps. It was deep in the afternoon at this time and they were really hungry. Eddie was the first to stir and then Janet began to wake but was still clearly in a dream…but soon Eddie realized it wasn't a dream at all..

"Seth…why are you doing this?" Janet began to stir but with her eyes firmly closed "Please don't point that gun at me…oh God, why is he doing this? What if he kills me? I will never see Eddie again…why is this happening now?" Janet was thrashing around now and yelling out questions as if it were a direct link to her brain.

Eddie laid there is shock and didn't know what to do. He hadn't seen her have any nightmares before so why was she having them now? He didn't know how to get to her and his heart broke that her mind was taking her back to that day. He decided to start to say her name and was careful was attempting to grab her shoulders to try and shake her away.

"Janet! Janet! Babe you need to wake up its just a dream" Eddie yelled to Janet hoping she would wake up.

Janet stilled but didn't wake up and then she said so quietly, "The pain…my chest…I can't breathe…am I dying? I can't see anything…it is so dark…I'm so sorry Eddie…I tried, I tried to save everyone…why did he start shooting…it hurts".

Eddie had tears falling from his eyes listening to her and he knew just how scared she was in those final moments. It was a fear he had all along that he couldn't get to her and protect her… she was there and frightened.

"Seth's dead…how could I have done that? I had Seth killed…how is he going to forgive me…am I a murderer too? I can I forgive myself…he was lost…he was alone and I sealed his fate…how could I have done that…but those kids…they were so scared I had to try and save them…why was he so angry…why did he shoot so many people." Janet was whispering now in her sleep as if the thoughts were all coming back to her in streams of sentences.

Eddie listened to her now not trying to wake her as she seemed more settled but he was seeing a part of Janet that she never spoke of. He wondered how long has she been thinking this way. Did she really think it was her fault? That is insane…she was a victim like everyone else, he felt like even him because he lost all that time with Janet and her world had changed so much because of what Seth did…why was so she upset over HIM?

"I couldn't save the professor…he was so brave…he shielded everyone…why?...why? …why?" Janet kept repeating over and over until she woke with a start and sat up so quickly in bed that she winced in pain.

"AHHHH!" Janet said out loud not understanding why it was that she sat up from her bed so quickly. She wasn't in the terrible pain but she began shaking. She was looking around madly trying to figure out where she was.

"Janet…Janet…it's Eddie…babe look at me…you were just having a dream…gently babe your chest is still healing" Eddie tried to reassure her and calm her shaking body.

Janet looked frantically around her and tried to focus on Eddie. She placed her hand on his face checking to see if he was really there and slowly her breathing calmed and she gently laid back down in the bed and let her hand slowly drop down Eddie's body from his face to his chest to his stomach as she lowered herself back onto the pillow.

Eddie nearly had tears in his eyes as he saw the pain in her eyes. These were emotional scars that he knew where there but he hadn't seen her ever have a nightmare like this. The doctors told him that she would have some difficulties with the trauma that she suffered but he had never seen it so he thought maybe it wouldn't have been as bad as what they had said. Now he realized that Janet had much more healing to do than just physically.

Janet laid there for a moment and spoke softly, "I'm sorry Eddie… I just…" she didn't know what to say. She had these nightmares over and over in the hospital and had been working on them with her psychologist since she began waking up with these nightmares. It was the conflict that Janet felt about her part in the death of Seth that she was having a difficult time coming to terms with – that she was responsible for him being shot by the Police and FBI that stormed into the classroom. She felt like Seth was struggling with something – something that he couldn't talk about or maybe deal with on his own. A part of her understood what it felt like to be different and totally accepted for who they were…that is how she felt most of her life with her weight and how negatively people treated her because of it.

When she started dating Eddie the first time, it seemed that everyone had an opinion about it because she wasn't his typical type and even Eddie, it seemed, struggled with his feelings for Janet in the beginning not knowing if he could handle everyone's opinion about how she looked compared to what he normally dated or rather had sex with. On some level Janet knew that Eddie saw something different in her because he acted so differently around her but it was the looks from everyone else that really got under her skin and of course Rooster's negative reaction to the relationship that really got in her head.

Everyone loved Janet at Sully's and always smiled in her presence. She often would get hit on by some of the patrons but she always excused the behavior as a drunken reaction most of the time. She never understood however why people referred to her as "Janet the planet", a stupid childhood nickname that never seemed to disappear as she got older. She really didn't understand why anyone cared about her weight or how that had anything to do with her a person but it hurt just the same when she would over hear comments about it when she was at work. Those comments would stick with her for far longer than she ever cared to admit.

She always wondered what had happened with Seth that made him snap that day and was never able to talk to him. She wondered what it was that 'got' to him just as her weight had gotten to her in the past. She had asked him why he was doing this but he only looked at her in a very lost sort of way but didn't answer her. She knew deep down that day when she was talking with the police and hostage negotiators that they were planning to remove him from that situation with any means necessary which meant that he likely would not make it out of that situation alive but she couldn't help but feel partly responsible for how it went down. This was why she tried to shield the other students because she felt responsible for their well-being due to her part in the plan to take control from Seth.

She was devastated when she learned that the professor was killed in the midst of all the gun fire but many of the students that had come to see her in the hospital told her that he died because he shielded them just as she had. If it had not been for Janet and her professor there would have been more fatalities. It was all a part of her trauma as was explained by her psychologist as a victim of a hostage situation and that often victims in that situations start to feel "sorry" for their captures. The clinical term was described as survivor's guilt. The psychologist explained that since Janet knew Seth from previously classes her perspective was influenced due to knowing him even in a minimal way that influenced her perspective of events. The psychologist also said that if Janet hadn't known him perhaps things would have been different in that room and her fear would have been much more intense and the after affects would also have been intense but knowing the capture would likely give Janet more conflicting feelings which is what was causing so many of the emotions and therefore the night mares she was experiencing.

Janet and her psychologist had spent a great deal of time talking about how she felt in that situation being the person talking with the police and trying to keep calm for everyone's sake. She had a tremendous responsibility in that situation and did handle it very well. She demonstrated immense bravery in the face of a very grave situation. Janet had difficulties accepting her actions as anything other than what she did with her job as a dispatcher and was trained to be calm in stressful situations. Janet continually talked about her conflicted feelings and that she didn't think anyone would understand why she felt so badly for Seth since he had killed others on campus. She really didn't understand it herself. Her deepest feelings of that night were dark and scary and she didn't want to worry anyone so she didn't talk about it with anyone other than the psychologist. Over the time Janet spent in the hospital her visits with the psychologist became less and less since Janet's nightmares were decreasing over time but they hadn't gone away completely. Janet had never talked to Eddie about her nightmares because she didn't want him to worry and she didn't really know how to explain what she was feeling. The psychologist had suggested that once Janet was comfortable she should talk to Eddie about it and then maybe both of them could meet with the psychologist and process their reactions to that day together and the possible future reactions Janet may have in the future. Janet just realized that now she would need to talk to Eddie but really didn't know how to start to communicate all the thoughts and feelings from that day in the classroom.

Eddie was looking into Janet's eyes and could see the internal conflict that was there. She was silent for so long and clearly thinking of something but she wasn't talking to him. He suddenly felt a cold fear that streamed through him that she was pulling away from him, so much so that he physically without thinking, reached for Janet and pulled her to his chest and hugged her tight. He was willing her to open up to him, talk to him or do something. Tears came to his eyes and he kissed the top of her head. He silently begged her to open up to him…silently waiting for her to speak.

Janet could feel Eddie's tension in his chest as he pulled her to him. She wanted so much to tell him what was going on but she didn't know what she would say. She knew she should say something, but what?

Eddie broke the silence, "Please Janet don't pull away from me…let me in…please Janet." He was pleading with her still wrapped in their embrace but not looking at one another as tears fell from his eyes onto her hair.

"Eddie…I…don't know what to say…I'm not pulling away from you Eddie, I love you more than you could possibly know but there is so much…so much I don't understand of what happened…so much about that day that scared me and so much of my feelings that I don't understand about Seth…I just…." She said

"Please Janet, you were talking in your nightmare…about what happened there…it isn't your fault…why do you think any of this is your fault? Eddie said almost frantically.

"I know it isn't my fault Eddie but I can't help but feel responsible for them killing Seth…there was something wrong with him…don't you remember I told you that day when I talked to you that he seemed off…I had a very big part of having him killed…how can I live with that?" Janet said now with tears streaming down her face.

Eddie's heart was breaking listening to her pained explanation. He didn't know how to get her to understand this wasn't her doing. "Janet please…this isn't your fault. Seth made a choice that day and he killed a lot of people…Dear God he could have killed you…you need to understand that the police and FBI were doing their job and you were only helping them to do it…this wasn't you're doing at all…you didn't cause any of that…you kept those students alive Janet…you saved a lot of your classmates…don't you understand that you helped everyone in that situation but Seth's death is not yours to carry Janet…can you understand that?" Eddie pleaded with her

Janet looked at him and she was trying to register everything that he said. Her psychologist had said some similar things to her but in a different way. She didn't know why she felt this way but somehow hearing it from Eddie made some sense. She just felt so lost and wondered if the events of that day would ever be far away from her. "I was seeing a psychologist at the hospital Eddie. I started seeing her after the nightmares started. She and I have talked about this and I understand what you are saying but I just feel so guilty and I don't understand why. She suggested that we go together to see her so we can talk about all of this and you can understand how I feel or at least how I got there…would you be willing to do that?" she said almost in a whisper.

Eddie looked at Janet tears running down his cheeks. He hadn't known that she had been seeing someone in the hospital and she never said anything about these dreams. How could she be keeping all of this from him…he was her husband or at least at the time was going to be…how could she think it wouldn't be something he wanted to know. He couldn't be mad at her because of it but it hurt that she didn't share this with him. He finally decided what he would say, "Of course I will go with you Janet you should know that I will do anything I can to help you but I don't understand why you didn't tell me this before. Why didn't you tell me that you were having nightmares? Why didn't you think I would want to know that?"

"I don't really know how to answer those questions Eddie. I started having these dreams and the nurses would need to wake me for fear I would hurt myself. They suggested I see the psychologist to be evaluated for trauma symptoms as most victims of a hostage situation or a shooting victim experience some kind of after effects of the trauma. I didn't understand what was happening to me and so I agreed and we met several times a week. It was mainly when you went back to work and I guess I just didn't want to think about that when you were with me. I don't feel so normal any more Eddie…like this has become my life instead of something that just happened…I don't know how to put into words what I feel so that is why it is difficult for me to talk about." She said hoping he understood.

"Janet you can always talk to me, about anything, even if it is something that you don't know how to explain. We have to talk to each other Janet and tell each other what is going on even if it is difficult or confusing or painful. That is what tore us apart the last time and I won't let that happen again." Eddie said empathically.

"I love you more than I can possibly tell you Eddie and what you have done for me since all of this happened, even before this day is so far beyond anything I could have wished for but the thought of hurting you with what happened in that classroom I just can't see the point of it…" she said

"You don't see the point of it! Janet what happened exactly in that classroom that would hurt me other than your safety and the fact that he could have killed you…what are you not telling me?"


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29:

Janet looked at Eddie and could not bring herself to tell him the events of that day. The fear that she felt and the udder heart break of what it felt like not to know if she would survive to see him again. The feeling of a gun being pointed at her face within inches not knowing what Seth would do with every word she said and when she felt the bullet enter her body in the chaos of the moment her fear that her life was over before it really had begun was a depth of despair that she had felt before. She saw all the moments in her life that she cherished flash so quickly and the regrets she had were overwhelming. When she lost consciousness there were only flashes in her mind of what was happening. She didn't really know what had happened to her until she woke up in the hospital with Eddie at her side. How could she explain to him all the things that she felt that day without causing him pain? She knew that it would hurt him to know that the gun had been pointed in her face several times…she knew that if he knew she was conscious even for a moment after being shot he would be devastated…the thoughts that ran threw her mind as the hours ticked away when her future was so uncertain…how could she possibly explain that to him?

Eddie could see in her eyes that she was holding back from her. He could sense her fear and hesitancy and he was scared to death that something happened in that room that she would never tell him and it would become this hole that would continue to grow and move them farther and farther apart. He had to get her to talk to him and be strong enough to hear what she had to say without over reacting otherwise she would never tell him the truth. Could he be? He had to find out…there would be no future between them if he couldn't.

"Janet , please, talk to me…I can't bear this distance between us right now…I love you and I want you to trust me and know that I will do anything to help you so please don't shut me out." Eddie said so softly.

Janet looked into his eyes and tears began to fall. She knew that she had to talk to him and tell him what was in her mind. She knew she would hurt him but she knew there was no way around it. She began softly, "Eddie I love you so much I can't bear the distance either but what happened that day is hard for me to talk to you about…I don't want to hurt you and I know if I tell you it will…I can't bear that you have been so good to me…" she paused and tears began to fall from Eddie's eyes. She could see the pain in his eyes and she realized that he was hurting with her silence so she continued. "…but I will do my best to try and explain…just please listen to me and try not to be upset…these are thoughts and my feelings of what happened that day and you can't change anything about them…but I am safe now, OK?"

Eddie looked at her and released the breath that he hadn't realized he was holding. "I know I can't change what happened that day but I want you to tell me even if it is hard, I can't promise you that I won't react but I will do my best to listen…I just want you to tell me and let me in…" He reached and placed the palm of his hand on her face as they were lying facing each other on their respective sides of the bed.

Janet took a deep breath and let it out, "That day Eddie…I was happy at first. I kept thinking about you and the possibly of our future and it was just a good day. I was going through my day as I always had. I noticed that Seth was very quiet but when I asked him if anything was wrong he didn't say anything. Not to many people talked to him but I didn't want to pry…but I knew something was off. I never would have imagined that he would do anything like that though. We were all sitting in the classroom and trying to get through the last hour of the day when we heard the shots and the screaming. I didn't know what was going on but the professor leapt into action and locked the door and turned off the lights. They received training after the columbine shooting and the shootings that happened at Virginia Tech on how to react if it had ever happened at the Duf. He was trying to make it appear as though no one was there. We all lined the same wall that the door was on so if anyone looked in they wouldn't see anyone so they would start shooting or whatever. But apparently that was the problem. When Seth tried to get the door open it was locked and he was just trying to get a way and hide and wasn't expecting anyone to be in that room when he broke open the door. I wasn't expecting him to be there and he was clearly surprised to see me. I got the sense that he didn't really want to hurt any of us but I could tell that something was seriously wrong. It took my brain minutes to realize that he was holding a gun, well a couple actually and that he was likely responsible for the noise we had heard earlier. It happened so quickly it was as if I didn't have time to think I was reacting purely as I do at my job…like I was on auto pilot and trying to help someone with a crisis…but realizing that I was in the midst of it. It was ok at first but then his face would change and I could see the pain in his eyes and when he would point the gun in my face…." She hesitated and winced outwardly as did Eddie as it shot a twinge of pain from his brain to his heart in an instant knowing that his worst fears as he listened to the radio that day were true…his Janet was front and center with the gun men and he could have ended her life instantly at any moment had he chosen too. She continued, "I felt almost numb at times as he ordered me to do things and waived the gun repeatedly in my face…I just followed his instructions and tried to calm him somehow for the sake of the others in the room. I could hear the muffled cries and sobs of the other students so afraid that they couldn't contain their reactions. I just couldn't do that I had to try and be strong to keep him for beginning to shoot at us." Janet closed her eyes as if the feeling from that day was now front and center in her mind and it was causing her to begin to shake a little. Eddie moved closer to her in that moment wanting so much for her to feel safe and that he was there to protect her now as he couldn't that day. He moved his arms around her just enough so he could still see her face. Janet smiled at the gesture and he could feel her start to relax and stop shaking as much.

"That is when the call came in from the police negotiator. Seth told me to pick up and so I did…I was just doing anything he wanted at that moment and the police chief worked with me on the phone…I must have had such a calm voice when he was talking to me that he decided to test out my response by saying something that he didn't want Seth to know to see I think how I would respond…that was when we started working out the plan to take over control of the room for later that night…I knew that it was a gamble but I felt like I had to do something…I didn't know that I could be that calm in a situation like that but I tried to think about it like I was just at work and trying to help someone until the police or emergency personnel could arrive but deep down I was so scared, Eddie. I kept thinking that I would never see you, that I wouldn't live to see our wedding day or have children or anything…I just felt so helpless more so than I have ever felt in my life – the only time I felt even a fraction of that was when we broke up." Janet closed her eyes at the thought. Eddie squeezed her and she opened her eyes to see that he had tears in his eyes acknowledging that he felt the same way.

"Seth watched me when I spoke to the police chief each time looking for something I think but I was able to explain what they were asking without telling him the truth as to what we were really talking about…I kept my responses brief so he would believe what I was communicating. I kept thinking that any minute he would catch on and he would shoot me and that it would be over, we would all be dead. Seth paced back and forth relentlessly and I couldn't tell what he was thinking. He was only a shadow of the person I had come to know in my classroom…I felt as though I didn't really know him at all but yet in a strange way I wanted to know what had driven him to do this…to hurt so many people but I didn't want to ask him for fear of what would happen if he became angry. He seemed so focused on me most of the time we were in that classroom and I wondered if it was me he was after all along…I know it didn't seem rational but nothing about that day seemed rational to me. As it became darker my spirits were beginning to sink…I wondered if any of us were going to get out of there. The police and FBI were yelling things through the windows at Seth directly and he reacted just as they anticipated so he moved us all back to the wall that we originally were which is exactly what the police chief wanted because when they stormed in they could get a clear shot at Seth. They wanted me to get him to sit in a desk somewhere near the door so they had clear access to him and I had no idea how I was going to do that but I thought that if any of us had a chance to get out of there I had to do something…so I started to talk to him as he paced back and forth…I got up from where I had been seated and started to just talk to him…I was so afraid that he would get angry but I knew the time was coming for them to storm in and I was prepared to save the others if I couldn't save myself." With that last comment Eddie flinched and closed his eyes but didn't say a word.

Janet noticed Eddie's physical reaction but continued, "I walked over to Seth and asked him if he was ok. He looked at me so quickly I didn't know if that was the right thing to say and then he began to cry…silently but the tears were visible in the moonlight that was coming from one of the windows he left open so he could watch what they were doing outside. He never said a word but there was something about that reaction that broke my heart. I kept thinking had this gone so terribly wrong for him…had he not intended to do this…did he know that it wouldn't end well…or was it what he wanted…was he trying to kill himself by doing all of this…I just had so many thoughts in that moment but yet I felt so guilty for having empathy for him as he had hurt so many people already…I was so conflicted with emotions I felt like I would seriously lose my mind in that moment…I just wanted to be home and I longed to have you there with your arms around me knowing that I would be safe with you and yet I didn't know if I would ever have that again…I knew soon though that whatever was our fate would happen very soon as the clock ticked away. Suddenly Seth moved as if he was a cat and heard something…he suddenly turned to me and it was as if he could see in my face what I had done…he pointed the gun at me and I knew that he was going to shoot me. So many thoughts were scrolling through my head I couldn't stop them…it was like all these events flashed through my mind…all the things I loved and all the things I wouldn't see again were there and in that moment I knew I would never be able to tell you how much I loved you or wanted to be your wife and have a life with you…it made the pain of us being apart for so long unbearable as it came flooding back to me in an instant and the pain of it hit my heart…I had to take a moment to figure out if he had in fact shot me in that moment or if it was in my head. I heard him pull the trigger of the gun and I closed my eyes waiting for the pain of the bullet but nothing happened…the gun he had been holding on us the whole time was empty or jammed or something. He threw it quickly to the floor and I turned and ran towards the students…I knew that they were on their way in and that is what set him off and just then I dropped to the floor and covered as many as I could as I heard the gun shots…it was then that I felt the bullet hit me in the chest…it took my breath away. I saw briefly a storm of people and heard the shots ringing out…I didn't know if they were at him or us or me again, all I could do was try and hold on even though it was getting very difficult to breath."

Eddie had tears streaming down his face at this time. He had no idea that she had been shot intentionally or that had his gun not been empty she would have been dead. He couldn't help his reaction as he pulled her to him tightly and he began to shake this time realizing that he could have lost her, lost everything.

Janet wrapped her arms around Eddie and tried to sooth him as best she could. She knew that this was what she dreaded in telling him what actually happened to her. She knew that he would react this way and she was trying to spare him. She knew that it was the right thing to do to tell him what happened, if not for him but for her too because she knew it would help her to heal. The psychologist that she had been working with told her as much. Trauma can return without a moment's notice as you don't fully understand all the triggers but in order to move past it you must deal with it head on and part of that was reliving that day and the moments that caused her such trauma and fear. After a few moments, she released him and moved briefly back so she could look into his face again and she continued.

"The truth is Eddie that everyone saw me as the "hero" in that situation because I tried to shield them from him but it was because of me that he was shooting at the students – he wasn't shooting at them it was me he wanted to kill and I ran towards them. I had betrayed him and he knew that…the professor lost his life because of me Eddie and all those students in that classroom were injured because of me…that wasn't "heroic" at all…I should have run in another direction and then it would have only been me and not all those others who were injured…don't you see Eddie it was my fault."

With that last statement Janet began to sob. She began to cry harder than she had ever cried before because this was at the heart of what she was dealing with. This was her true feeling that she was responsible for what happened in that classroom. She felt that she should have died instead of the professor. Her body was shaking and sobbing and this was causing her a certain degree of pain but she couldn't control this response to her grief. She had almost forgotten that Eddie was there as she hadn't let herself cry like this since the shooting had occurred and deep down it was a realization that she hadn't yet shared with her psychologist either. She was trapped by her feelings of guilt on some many levels and it was literally eating her up inside. Eddie grabbed her almost violently and held her tight to his chest. He began to try and calm her and run his hand through her hair trying to sooth her. "Janet please this wasn't your fault…babe you didn't do anything…you saved all those people…Seth killed the professor and so many others on campus before he even saw you…you are not responsible for anything that happened that day…Janet please look at me…listen to what I am telling you…Oh babe I love you so much please Janet come back to me…you didn't do this – any of this…it was Seth babe please…I know you want to take responsibility but this wasn't you're doing…you helped the police capture someone who hurt a lot of people…it breaks my heart that he tried to kill you…please Janet tell me you are listening to me." Eddie was pleading with her so she would hear how desperate he was for her to understand what he was saying. Janet could understand to a certain extent that Seth was responsible for what happened…her brain would tell her that over and over but yet her heart kept telling her that she was responsible for the hurt that took place in that classroom. It was something that she knew she needed to work on with the psychologist to make her heart and head come together…she was working on it but she wasn't there yet. Her sobs began to decrease a bit and she was now starting to physically respond to Eddie. She moved back a bit and placed her hands on his face. She used her thumbs to brush away his tears that were streaming down his face. Janet looked into his eyes and realized that she had really never seen him this upset…a little but not this emotional. He had become emotional in the hospital when he threw her out of his hospital room but she never saw the after math of what he was like. She leaned forward and kissed him briefly. As their lips met with each other it somewhat snapped Eddie out of his emotions and he placed his hands on her face as well. They gazed into each other's eyes and began kissing each other with a need like no other. The kiss deepened very quickly and they both knew that there was no more talking that needed to be done at this moment. The only thing they needed was each other.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30:

Janet and Eddie lay side by side after such an emotionally charged morning. Janet had finally told Eddie the truth about what happened to her and everyone really during the hostage situation that resulted in her being shot critically. Eddie was so grateful that she had finally opened up to him but was so overcome by his emotions at all the things that happened to Janet. He wished he could take away all of her pain, both emotionally and physically. They had just made love again and they both experienced such overwhelming feeling of emotions that they felt so connected to each other in a way that wasn't there before they married. There was a bond there in their connection that gave them both such strength that Janet felt for the first time since she awoke after her shooting that she would heal from this. She felt that maybe she wasn't going to be consumed by her guilt forever and maybe just maybe she could forgive herself a little for the part she played in some many injuries and the professors death. As long as she was in Eddie's arms she felt safe for the first time since that day that her world changed so drastically. Eddie continued to stare directly into Janet's eyes and gently ran his fingers along her hair line repeating words of love that he felt for her. It was a moment that neither of them would forget and they would cherish for the rest of their lives.

It was late afternoon at this point and Eddie and Janet hadn't really left the bed all morning. They had talked and made love and now Eddie was literally starving. He didn't want to move but felt as though he would pass out without something to eat.

"I can hear your stomach growling Eddie, don't you think we should go and get something to eat?" Janet said trying to smile and lighten their mood a little. It had been such an emotionally charged morning that she wanted to try and enjoy the rest of the day being a newlywed.

Eddie smiled, "I just don't want to leave this bed but you are right I am STARVING."

"Well at some point we are going to need to Eddie. I need to move around some before my body stiffens up and I am hungry myself. Don't we have leftovers from the reception in the fridge?" Janet starting to move a little in an attempt to get off the bed.

"If memory serves me just a little while ago you were moving just fine." Eddie said smiling wickedly

"EDDIE! You know what I meant. Geez" Janet said playfully slapping him

They both moved and started to get out of the bed. Eddie got up quickly and walked over to help Janet up off her side of the bed. They were both naked and neither seemed to care at the moment. Janet took Eddie's hand and slowly put her feet on the floor. She was sore and in a small amount of pain which she tried to hide a bit but the pain meds did have it pretty controlled. She looked into Eddie's eyes as she stood and she reached up and kissed him briefly. She felt as though she needed to reassure him that she was ok. All Eddie could do was smile. In that moment, he felt the love he had for Janet so strongly it almost felt physical and not just an emotion. He could feel his heart swell for her.

They both walked over to the bathroom and Eddie pulled on some sweatpants with out anything else and Janet grabbed her robe and put it on without anything underneath. She really didn't think she needed anything else with just the two of them there and the intimacy they shared with each other from last night well into this afternoon they truly had nothing to hide from one another.

They walked hand in hand into the kitchen and Eddie immediately went to the fridge and started to pull out containers and placed them onto the island so Janet could go through them and figure out what to eat.

After they finished their lunch and both cleaned up the kitchen they walked back to the living room area and Eddie sat on the couch and turned on the TV. Janet sat next to Eddie and placed her head in his lap and snuggled in close to him. She was very tired likely from all the emotions of the morning and their activity following as well as the pain medication and feeling full from their lunch, she quickly fell asleep. Eddie pulled a blanket from the back of the couch over Janet and soon noticed that she was fast asleep. He just smiled but it did give him a chance to think about the morning and what Janet had told him.

He couldn't understand why she felt so responsible for what happened that day but that was his Janet. The care and compassion she had for others was endless and of course she would feel guilty because Seth was out of control and she couldn't stop it somehow even though she did, she wouldn't see it that way. The thought of her facing a gun to her face made his entire body chill with fear. God, what if that gun had been loaded…they wouldn't be sitting here like this. His life would be so much different. He cannot even imagine living his life without Janet. The depths of despair he would feel beyond his comprehension. He knew after listening to Janet and all the emotions that she felt that she would need to continue to work with the psychologist and he would do everything in his power to help even going with her to her sessions if that is what she wanted. He would do anything to help heal her.

Now was the time however to just be with one another and he was going to show her over and over how much he loved her. He was going to tell her every chance he got that he loved her and that she was safe. He knew eventually they would need to go back to living their lives but he didn't know what that would look like for her. Would she go back to school? Would she go back to work? He thought maybe all of that would be traumatizing to her. He made enough for them to live on and Janet even had income coming in from her house with Phil and Emily living there now. Eddie didn't have to pay on his house except for the changes that they made while Janet was in the hospital and pay the rest of the expenses from the wedding but most of it he had covered already. If she didn't want to go back to work or school she didn't have too but he didn't really know what she wanted to do. A part of him wanted her to stay home and be safe but he knew she wouldn't agree to that once she felt healthy again. Janet had a strong work ethic and she was not about to sit anywhere for long without a purpose. He then thought of the man that came to see him in the hospital and the offer of a job working with the police. He wonders if that man ever contacted Janet. She had never said anything about it to him if she had. He wondered if that course of career would be something that Janet would even contemplate knowing how guilty she felt over what role she played in Seth's death, as irrational as it sounded to Eddie as in his mind Seth deserved what he gone for the trauma he caused so many people, including his now wife.

A few hours later, Janet began to stir in Eddie's lap and slowly sat up. Eddie was watching sports center and just grinned at his wife.

"How long was I asleep?" Janet asked sleepily and stretching her arms out

"Only a few hours…you obviously needed it since I have worn you out" he said raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Janet just smiled, "Yes I guess you did Mr. Latekka."

"Any time Mrs. Latekka…by the way." He said smiling

"So is there anything you would like to do today?" Janet asked realizing that it is later in the afternoon

"No I am perfectly happy here sitting with you. I have missed us just being together like this…it seemed so simple before but when you were in the hospital I really missed it." Eddie said more quietly

Janet looked at Eddie and realized how hard it must have been for him as well watching her go through all that she did. She knew that it affected him in some way but looking at his face now she realized just how much his life was impacted by that day at the Duf.

"To be honest Eddie I feel kind of lost right now…I am so used to having so much to do that I don't know what to do with myself…I have no job right now or at least I don't think I do and school is out for now due to the shooting and everything so I am not sure what any of my days are going to look like, maybe for the first time in my life." Janet said looking at Eddie

"You know Janet I can take care of you so you really don't have to do anything if you don't want too, you know that right?" he said wondering if she would want to just stay at home.

"Eddie you know that is not me…I have to do something with myself. I want to go back to school at some point and finish my schooling…it is important to me that I finish what I started…I had put it off way too long the first time…I have to face what happened there as well. I just don't know when that will be possible. The other students who came to visit me in the hospital said that they have suspended the rest of the semester so we can't go back until the start of the next which is still a few months away from now. I don't know honestly about my job in Grand Springs…I don't know if they have replaced me or what…I imagine they had to because they needed someone to do the job…crisis's don't stop just because I got shot." Janet said somewhat chuckling but serious as well.

"I really hate hearing that sentence Janet. You have no idea what that phrase 'I got shot' does to me on the inside but honestly they never really said anything about your job. Which reminds me did you ever get a visit from the chief of police about a job?" he asked

"I'm sorry Eddie I don't mean to make light of it but I have to deal with it and it helps a little to joke about it…that is what the doctor said to work through my feelings about it to come to terms with it all and accept the situation for what it was, I guess saying it out loud just sounds insensitive, doesn't it?" she asked placing her hand on Eddie's cheek.

"Yeah it kind of does but I understand you have to deal with it as you can but can we not joke about it because there is nothing funny about what happened that day." Eddie said softly once again.

"Yeah Eddie I won't do that again, and for the record I just want to say thank you for everything that you did for me and being there for me throughout this whole process…I don't know if I said thanks enough to you but I would not have been able to get through all of this without your love and support, really Eddie, you were my rock when I really needed it and that isn't easy for me to say since you know how fiercely independent I can and need to be." She said

"You don't have to thank me Janet, there was nothing that would have stopped me from being by your side trust me…you have been there for me so many times over the years I cannot even count them…truth be told I kind of like being able to take care of you…that independence scares me sometimes." He said looking into Janet's eyes.

"Why Eddie?" she asked really not understanding why he would be upset with that part of who she was.

"Because Janet, you are able to do a lot of things for yourself and have been that way since I have known you but it is hard being the sort of person that likes to take care of others it is hard for me to realize that you can take care of yourself just fine, even when I wasn't there with you, it just makes me feel like you could survive without me and that scares me because when we were apart I barely survived without you." Eddie said, finding it very difficult to communicate what he truly thought.

When Eddie and Janet got back together they talked about a lot of things but she never understood that he had difficulty in his life when they were apart. He was still working and going out with his friends, she always thought that her experience was worse because her heart was so broken…she got a job out of town just so he couldn't see her fall apart. It was something that she worked very hard to hide from everyone as much as possible.

"I didn't know that you had such a hard time Eddie, I'm sorry for what I did I really am." Janet said with tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"Please Janet I am not telling you this to upset you I just can't go through that again. Losing you once was bad enough but this time was devastating because I didn't know what was going to happen from day to day. You had good days and then some bad ones…a few times we almost lost you and all that was running through my mind was that I wouldn't be able to survive if you…" eddie couldn't bring himself to finish that thought.

"Eddie, look at me, I am fine. I am right here and I am not going anywhere" she held up her ring finger that was graced with the most beautiful ring and continued, "I made a promise to you that I would always be here for you, to love and support you and together we are going to build a life together ok so no more of this talk…there is always going to be a part of me that can take care of myself and there are going to be times when I will need that ability but we are together Eddie, husband and wife and from now on we are a team, together not independent but together in making decisions and figuring out the future…so don't worry. I couldn't make it through one day without seeing this beautiful and ruggedly handsome face or feeling these very strong hands on my body or those incredibly sexy lips not touching mine at least 20 times every day…so please trust that not a day will go by that my existence isn't affected by you because it not only is affected by it but it depends on it…I love you Eddie, more than I can say or show sometimes but the feeling is so strong, nothing is going to change it, ok?" Janet said looking into Eddie's eyes and placing her hands on his cheeks in a loving gesture.

Eddie looked into Janet's eyes and saw everything he wanted for his future. He thought that it didn't really matter what the future held, school or working or whatever because he knew that Janet would come home to him and spend her life with him regardless of what she chose to do. He understood fully that Janet's love for him was just as strong and dependable as his feeling for her and now he truly felt at home because his home was Janet and she was right there with him. He let out a deep breath that he didn't realize he was even holding.

"I love you so much Janet. I guess maybe you weren't the only one who was traumatized by Seth. I didn't realize how affected I was but I know now that we are going to be ok even if it takes a bit to get our bearings back we will figure it out. I just want you to know that I support you 100% in whatever you decide but for now, let's enjoy the moment of peace and relaxation, sound good?" he said pulling her gently against him again so they could snuggle.

"It sounds perfect to me" as she snuggled against him feeling like there was nowhere on this planet that she would rather be then exactly where she was in this moment. She thought, "maybe I don't have to figure everything out today maybe for now this is enough."

With that the two snuggled into each other and began flipping through the channels and decided on mindless reality TV because neither of them cared about what was on the TV they were more concerned with connecting with each other.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31:

As the months went back, Janet was healing nicely. She was gaining strength again in her body and her spirit. Being married definitely agreed with both Janet and Eddie. They easily fell into a routine. After having the first week to themselves after Janet's arrival home and her surprise wedding, they just spent the week spending time together, talking and making love. They decided not to go on a honeymoon right away since Janet was still recovering and didn't really want to have the added stress of travel while she was just barely getting around the house. She really didn't like feeling so weak but she knew it was only temporary. As the days and weeks passed, Eddie returned to work and Janet used the time to go for walks that increased in distance over time. She was starting to feel stronger every day and her ability to walk more rapidly was increasing as well. Her breathing was getting better as well. She was continuing to meet with her psychiatrist from the hospital on a weekly basis and talking about her recovery. Her biggest hurdle was the guilt that she felt over Seth's death. Everyone had told Janet that she wasn't responsible for his death as he created that situation and there was little choice in the matter to gain control over the situation but Janet just could not shake the sense of responsibility for helping the police to end his life. She couldn't really explain it and no matter how many discussions she had with her therapist it didn't seem to help her. The University had just contacted her the previous week to invite her and all those who were involved in the hostage situation back to the university for a special memorial for the professor who gave his life to help his students and to honor Janet for her heroism in shielding the other students when she took that bullet to save the other students. It was a time to remember and an occasion to honor such bravery in the face of such devastation. Janet almost didn't want to accept the invitation as she didn't feel worthy of such an honor but Eddie and her therapist both thought she deserved the honor and that maybe it would help her to move past her guilt when she could see the good she did that day rather than only seeing Seth's death.

Janet was pacing around the house and couldn't seem to calm her nerves. Today was the day in which she and Eddie were going to return to the University for the first time for the Memorial ceremony that she had been invited to a few weeks prior. She didn't like being put in the spot light in any way and she knew that all eyes would be on her at one point today. She had a lot of support she knew as just about everyone in her life would be in attendance including her therapist and all the doctors that helped to save her life that day. The most important person though was Eddie who she knew would be at her side the entire time. Janet kept looking at herself in the mirror to make sure she looked ok. Since she had returned home she had gained some of the weight back that she had lost in the hospital. She was continuing to walk so her body was just shaped a little differently than it was in the past. She always had muscle and a little extra in her curves but now she was a bit leaner but still maintained her curves. The one area that was most different was her chest where there existed a scar and a reminder of where she had been shot that day. She ran her fingers over the spot where the scar existed although you couldn't see it where her dress now covered it but Janet saw it regardless of whether it was covered or not. It was a permanent reminder of the trauma that she endured and survived…it was also a reminder that her professor and Seth did not. This scar perhaps would never fully heal in that regard although the visible one was minimal now. Eddie walked up behind her and noticed that she was staring at her chest in the mirror and rubbing the wound site as if she were lost in thought not seeing him approach. It broke his heart a little to see her face as he was certain he knew what she was thinking. He found her looking at herself in the mirror just like this at times, as if reliving that day and the trauma and the loss. It was a place that only she could go and that pained Eddie as he wanted to always be there to protect her and help her but some places he just couldn't go. He hesitated for only a moment and then began to slowly put his arms around her waist and nuzzle into her neck trying to bring her back to him. As if broken from the trance she was in she refocused and smiled at him in the mirror's reflection. She turned in his grasp and leaned up to kiss his lips. Once she pulled back Eddie had a big smile on his face.

"You look absolutely beautiful Mrs. Latekka" Eddie said looking into her eyes.

"You look pretty hot yourself Mr. Latekka" Janet said with a sparkle in her eye slightly lifting her brow.

"Are you ready to go?" Eddie asked as he held onto her waist not really wanting to move at this moment.

"As ready as I'll ever be I guess" Janet said somewhat distracted.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" He asked wondering if she'll talk to him about where she just was.

"I was just remembering bits and pieces of that day…my professor…Seth…just wondering how it will be walking back on the campus for the first time and being in front of all those people…I don't know how it will be Eddie…what if I freak out?" she said being honest

Eddie just looked at her trying to come up with an answer but honestly he was worried about the same thing.

"If you start to feel overwhelmed Janet you simply grab my hand and I will get you out of there as quickly as we can…I don't care about all those people Janet I only care about you." He said honestly with a caring smile on his face.

"What if I just want to hold your hand?" Janet said somewhat smiling now knowing that it would be ok as long as he was by her side.

"Trust me Janet you won't be able to get far enough away from me not to but I'll know based on your face and how hard you grab my hand…I know you Janet…now please don't worry I got this, OK?" he said confidently.

"Well then I guess we are ready then." Janet said grabbing Eddie's hand and grabbing her purse before they walked out the front door.

As the ceremony began everyone was seated. Janet and Eddie were seated on the stage that was created for the event alongside the professors family and all the students that had been shot and survived the attack that day. The Chancellor of the University was speaking at the time and began to describe the events of that day. He took the audience on a journey of the events that unfolded as Seth began his rath of pain throughout the campus. Janet was surprised by some of the things that she heard as she didn't know everything that had took place only the part that she was directly involved in. She was shocked to learn how callously Seth treated his fellow students and those he shot including many that were running away from him shooting them in their backs. Janet began to see things in an entirely different light than she had. She was beginning to let go of the guilt that had been plaguing her all these months because she know understood why the police made the decision they did, she knew that regardless of her involvement Seth's life would have ended that day to stop the violence that he began. The chancellor began to describe the event that unfolded that ultimately concluded with the loss of the life of the Professor. So many people of prominence were in attendance to this memorial. The Governor of Massachusetts, most of the Universities alumni and staff were there, the police chief as well as several members of the FBI and the most prominent of course was the President himself. Janet sat there in awe as she had no idea that this little town would have drawn such an audience. Janet sat in her chair with Eddie's hand firmly in hers with fingers entwined and wrapped tight. Eddie must admit he was a bit overwhelmed as well but he was going to be her support regardless of whether the President of the United States was sitting four chairs down from him or not.

The Chancellor than finished his speech and introduced the President to speak.

"It saddens me that our world continues to take our frustrations and anger out on one another. We have had to heal from so many incidents of violence in our schools and public places that should be the places that bring us such pleasure and joy. No one could have anticipated the events that took place that faithful day but in the midst of all the pain and suffering, sadness and confusion there a rose a reflection of the heart of this country and the heart of the human spirit. It was in these moments of darkness that two individuals took it upon their shoulders the burden of keeping their fellow man and woman safe and out of harm's way. Unfortunately one of those people, the well-respected Professor Dillon paid the ultimate price for the safety of his students selflessly shielding his students with own body to prevent them from being shot by the gunman that had held his classroom hostage for nearly 20 hours. Without thought to his own safety he took a bullet that would likely have injured or perhaps took the life of more than one of his students but instead he took that bullet that ended his own life. We celebrate his life today and his gift to the students he saved, this university, to honor his bravery in the presence of his family and to show the country that we all can truly make a difference and work together to stop this violence. "

Following this portion of his speech, The President invited the family of Professor Dillion to the podium and presented his wife with the United States Flag and a plague that illustrated the Country's gratitude for his selfless act in the wake of such tragedy. Photos were taken and the family was able to shake hands with the President. They all returned to their seats after also shaking hands and sharing hugs with the other shooting victims and staff of the University. The President took to the podium once again.

"We are also here to honor the survivors of the shooting at the University. I spoke earlier of two individuals that demonstrated courage in the face of violence. We have just honored the courage of Professor Dillon and now we are going to honor another individual who in the face of this tragedy demonstrated great courage, calmness, support and bravery. Janet Latekka was a student in Professor Dillon's class and shortly after the gunman took the class hostage Janet was able to calmly talk to the gunman as well as the police chief and help to bring a resolution to the hostage situation. She was able to communicate to the police without the knowledge of the gunman as to what was being planned. She helped to support her fellow students and once the police were ready to make their move she bravely faced the gunman and shielded her fellow students with her own body also taking a bullet so other students would be protected. She acted in an instant with disregard to her own safety and demonstrated the ultimate selfless act to try and save as many of her fellow students as she could. This along with Professor Dillon's bravery limited the injuries to the students of this class. If it were not for Mrs. Latekka's calm and excellent communication skills the police would not have been able to bring this situation to such a speedy conclusion with limited injuries. With the help of the excellent medical staff, Mrs. Latekka's serious and life threatening injury has since healed physically and she as I understand it is well on her way to recovery. We are honored to have her with us today. This community as well as the rest of the Country owes a great debt to Mrs. Latekka as she is a reflection of what each and every one of us can do in our daily lives to combat this epidemic of violence that has erupted in communities across this country. It is because of her bravery and selflessness that we have this group of students who sit behind me today that were also wounded but survived this attack on the University. So please join me in presenting Mrs. Janet Latekka with the highest honor that our country can provide which is the purple heart in honor to her service and bravery."

The President turned and faced Janet while clapping. Everyone rose to their feet and began clapping loudly for Janet. She sat there somewhat stunned and not able to move. She was not expected to be presented with such an honor and from the President of the United States no less. Eddie sensed her apprehension and stood and gently pulled her to her feet. She refused to release Eddie's hand so he walked with her and soon she was standing face to face with the President.

"I present this honor, The Purple Heart Medal, to you Janet Latekka for your bravery in the face of danger. You saved countless lives that day at the University and for that we are eternally grateful. " The President then handed Janet the box that possessed the medal along with a plague indicating the same and a United States Flag. Janet's hands were shaking and she finally released Eddie's hand to accept the box. Photos were once again taken and Janet and Eddie both shook the President's hands, the hands of the Chancellor and Janet received hugs from the staff and students that were seated on the stage.

It was at that moment that the President stepped aside and motioned to Janet to take the podium. She looked at him and then looked at Eddie as if she was frozen and didn't know what to do. She had not thought she would need to speak but how do you say no to the President. Eddie took the box, the plaque and the flag and stood next to Janet. She slowly approached the podium and waited for the applause of the crowd to die down.

"I want to thank the President for the kind words and the University for this wonderful opportunity to honor Professor Dillon and all the students that were injured that day. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the kind words and the acknowledgement of the actions that were taken that day but I was certainly not alone in helping to bring that tragedy to a conclusion. I thank God every day for the excellent doctors and nurses that saved my life that day as well as the love and support I received from this community, my fellow students, my friends and family and especially from my husband, Eddie…they are really the hero's here…I wouldn't be standing here today without them. Thank you so much."

With that Janet stepped back and just wanted to sit down but once again applause erupted and everyone was on their feet making Janet once again the center of attention. Eddie was clapping as well and had tears in his eyes, he couldn't have been more proud to be her husband. Janet looked to him and reached out and grabbed his hand. Janet could hear Sully, Hannah, Emily and the boys all whooping and hollering in the crowd regardless of the fact that the President was still standing there.

A man who was heavily decorated and in a military type uniform took the podium and as he did Janet stepped back and she and Eddie returned to their seats. Eddie recognized the man in the uniform as the Chief of Police that came to see him in the hospital that day discussing Janet's future.

"I am privileged to be standing here today to be able to honor one very special person for their bravery in the face of the hostage situation that occurred at this very University…a day that many in this community will never forget as being the day that violence came to our small community. The professionalism and courage that was displayed on this campus by so many was both appreciated and welcomed by our department as we worked tirelessly to bring the hostage situation to a close but one person stands out in being vital to that conclusion. Mrs. Janet Latekka worked with the police department as a whole but mostly directly with me to help bring the hostages safely out of that classroom with the threat of her own safety hanging in the balance with each phone call. She never wavered or lost her composure. She remained calm and was able to communicate in such a way as to keep from the gunman from anticipating what we were planning. This is not an easy proposition with a gun pointed directly at you believe me. Mrs. Latekka has worked with the Grand Springs Police department as the crisis person who guides people through emergencies and helps to brings crisis and emergency personnel together every day at her job. She clearly knows what she is doing because in this situation there was never any hesitation in her duty to help those students in the classroom. That is a quality that is instinctive and not necessarily learned. We are honored today to be able to grant Mrs. Janet Latekka a full scholarship to return to school and graduate with her degree in education as she had planned to do however we are also offering her the opportunity to work with a special task force coordinated and trained through the FBI to work with hostage negotiations here in the great state of Massachusetts. Please join me in congratulating and honoring Mrs. Latekka for her service to this community and this country."

The Chief then turned and faced Janet and she was beyond stunned. She sat looking at the Chief and then she looked at Eddie. Clearly they didn't prepare Janet for this award, she had no idea that this was happening. Eddie didn't either but he at least remembered the conversation from the hospital and was somewhat prepared but looking at the look on Janet's face he hadn't really talked with her. The crowd once again was on their feet and applauding as Janet slowly approached the Chief and excepted the plague for her service in the hostage situation, a check for a very large sum of money and a letter from the FBI that contained all the information she needed to enroll in the training for the special task force when the time came. She was beyond stunned. She never saw herself as doing this all the time and didn't know how that would fit into her life with Eddie. She wanted to get her degree and become a teacher hoping to teach the youth but this – this was never a thought in her mind, not even after that day. The Chief shook her hand and brought her closer to him and he whispered in her ear, "just think about Janet…we would be honored to have you as part of our police department. We'll talk more later."

They both leaned back and then the President stepped forward once again and shook Janet's hand and thanked her openly for her service that day. The representatives from the FBI also stepped forward and shook her hand.

The Chancellor once again took the podium once everyone was seated again and concluded the ceremony. As everyone began to leave the stage area and head to the reception portion of the day, Janet just sat stunned in her seat for a moment. Eddie looked at Janet as she was holding his hand rather firmly trying to gain some composure. He finally decided to see where her head was at,

"Hey tell me what you are thinking…are you okay?" he said trying to read the expression on her face.

"I don't know what just happened here…they want me to work for the FBI or the police or what I don't know Eddie…I never thought about that…are they really going to pay for my schooling? Can they do that? What if I don't want to work for them do I just give the money back?" Janet's head was spinning.

Eddie had to gain some control here before Janet totally lost it, "Janet you don't have to do anything you don't want to…they are offering you an opportunity that is all…you still need to finish school and that will take some major time so you don't have to decide right now…The Chief said that he would talk to you about it later so let's just enjoy this day and spend some time with our family and friends and be thankful that you are still with us after all of this, ok?" he said trying to get her to move past the overwhelming feelings she was clearly having.

Janet looked up to him and said, "thank you Eddie…you have been so wonderful through all of this I just never thought I would be sitting here shaking hands with the President and the FBI and the Chief of Police…in that moment that day all I could think about is getting out of there alive and I don't know where all that came from I didn't think I just did what I always do…the truth is when the Chancellor spoke about what happened before Seth got to our classroom if I had known all of that I would have been terrified…that is not the person that I thought Seth was…he was vicious and cruel in what he did to all those people and he would have killed me too if the gun hadn't jammed or ran out of bullets or whatever happened with it that it didn't fire…I have spent all this time feeling guilty and for what ? He killed the Professor and injured so many people…he terrorized all those people who were running around scared and staring at the same gun that faced me…I don't know if I can do that again Eddie." Janet was struggling now with some of the memories and some things she really didn't know as most people didn't talk about it with her. Eddie let go of her hand and leaned and wrapped her up in his arms. He wanted her to feel safe and protected and he didn't know any other way. Janet grabbed onto him and held him so tightly like she needed to feel hidden in his embrace. They spent a great deal of time just sitting there on the stage on their own hugging one another. When a voice broke up their union…

"I thought maybe I would check on you, from the looks of it you look a little overwhelmed right now."

It was Janet's psychologist that had been working with her since her shooting and had attended the ceremony. She had kept a close eye on Janet's reaction and saw that Janet was completely uncomfortable but the last award really threw her for a loop.

Eddie sensing that maybe they needed a moment he said, "I am going to go and put all of your awards in the car so when you are ready we can go to the reception ok? I'll be back in a few minutes." He smiled at Janet and got her acknowledgement and her return smile letting him know that it was ok.

Janet spoke softly, "I didn't know all the details of what happened that day and I guess it is overwhelming me now. I don't understand why I felt so guilty over Seth's death when he caused so much damage. What does that say about me?"

Her psychologist spoke, "Janet it says that you are a caring and compassionate person and you didn't know all the details of the events of that day. There was no way you could have known about all of what happened and nor should you feel guilty about what happened…you saved lives that day not caused a death…how do you feel about all of this?" she waves her arms to show the stage

"It was nice but I don't feel like I deserved all this attention…Professor Dillon still died and many people were shot…I just did what I always do…it's my job to help in a crisis." Janet's voice got weak and trailed off a bit

"Janet you saved these people…being shot is much better than being killed…they have lives to life and families that still have them to hold because of you. The Chief is right, not everyone has those skills many people would have panicked and that could have caused all of you to lose your life…you deserve this Janet whether you are willing to accept that or not…all these people they appreciated what you did – everyone is here because of that." She tried to get Janet to see what she saw in the faces of all these people throughout this ceremony.

Janet looked at her doctor and let it sink in a little. "I know you are right it will just take a bit to sink in…thanks for being here and for this…I do feel better."

Eddie returned just at that moment and said, "so are we ready to eat…I am starving" hoping that it will break the seriousness of their faces.

Janet and her doctor looked at each other and laughed, "yes I am ready Eddie and by the way when are you NOT starving." Janet laughed at her own comment.

Eddie knew his distraction worked. All three of them exited the stage and proceeded to the reception area to enjoy the rest of the day knowing that for the first time since that faithful day at the Duf that Janet was truly beginning to heal and that life was now full of all kinds of possibilities.


End file.
